Ten Things I LOVE About You. Posted by: Ric Nimrod 6-13-01 11:01am Howdy Ho loyal Nimrodians, the ol' Nimrod is in the captains chair for another waste of five to ten minutes of your time. I can only hope that you are reading this while you are at work so that you are at least getting paid to read it. So are ya like me? Do you go through Star Wars waves? Some periods are very down: no new figures to be found, other films in your life, sick of fan boys over-analyzing the story, scalpers over charging for that vintage piece you want and any number of things that can put SW on the back burner. ON THE OTHER HAND there are the highs. The euphoric highs a geek experiences from loving Star Wars. Anything can spark this. A new Insider in the mailbox, a piece of EP2 news, a hard to find figure makes its way to your home, or, as in my current case a different and unrelated film. I saw the Planet of the Apes (2001 version) this weekend and I really liked it. I liked it a lot BUT this column is not about the film or its merits (or its flaws). Not at all. After seeing POTA and discussing it, it brought on a feeling of want. Allow me to explain. I enjoyed seeing the film in the theater. This made me think of upcoming films that will also be cool. Lord of the Rings and Spiderman jump to mind. But it is all just pacifier material until we get to the big event: Episode Two. I know, I know... I am a dork BUT so are you or you wouldn't be reading this dorky crap on this geeky web site. Do you feel it? The buzz. The film is coming and its coming soon. It will be here before you know it. So I started thinking about my love of SW and savoring my "high" period and I thought of how damn great ALL four films are. This led me to the following: 10 Reasons Nimrod Loves Each Star Wars Film Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace Qui-Gon Burns Through Door With Light Saber- Didn't you always think a light saber could do this? A great way to start the prequel. "We will be following your career with great interest" - Man, Palpy rules. Qui-Gon Vs Maul on Tatoine - A quick but great duel, gets the SW blood pumping EVERY time! The Queens Ship - It looked cool in '99 and it looks cool today. This big silver cigar ROCKS! The Walking Throne - wouldn't you love to own one of these? The Pod Race - I know, its an obvious choice BUT it does really kick ass. Yoda Appoints Obi-Wan a Jedi - in my best Waynes World impression "excellent" "Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi" - gives me geek-gasims every time. The entire political manipulation of Palpitine. "I will be Chancellor" - I love it, I love, I love it! This is what sets off the whole darn story, and it is so subtle in the film. Lucas at his best. Obi-Wan Vs and Destroys Maul - Young Obi-Wan KICKS BUTT and I want to cheer every time I see him some out victorious. Star Wars: Episode Four: A New Hope The Cantina - hello... I mean we are at the Creature Cantina. Kenobi Vs Vader - I love the back and forth between these two Jedi. Leia and her bra-less bouncing boobies - hey, I am a breast man. Han Chases the Troopers Through the Death Star - He certainly was brave. The Interrogation Droid - I am still afraid of this kooky, needle welding, blinking basketball. Its just plain creepy. "Who is the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?” - good question. The Burnt Corpses of Owen and Beru Lars - Man, this kicked my 10 year old ass in 1977 and it still does. Smoldering corpses, as a rule, are great to put in movies. The Emperor Dissolves the Senate - Even when the guy is not on screen he moves the story line along. Palpy is the MAN. "I find your lack of faith disturbing.” - If I could have ANY Jedi power, this one would be it. The ol' across the room choke hold. (the getting the object to fly across the room and into your hand trick is also good) The Sound Effect the Tractor Beam Makes when Kenobi Shuts the Power Off - BBBWWWWOOOOOOOOOWWWNNNGG man thats just freaky, cool sounds. Star Wars: Episode Five: The Empire Strikes Back The Astroid Flight - That Solo sure can fly. The Introduction to Boba Fett - not counting the EU stuff of course. (that includes that brilliant Holiday Special) Taun Tauns - These smelly animals would really cut down on my gas-card bill. Yoda trains Luke - These scenes are among the strongest in the entire saga. Always inspiring. The Scoundrel Kissing Scene "I'm a nice man" - You just knew Luke never had a chance (not counting that whole sister thing) Luke Vs Vader on Bespin - Every frame of this scene is great. "I am your father" is a classic film line and it still is powerful to watch ol' Mark try for the Oscar in that scene. The Battle of Hoth - While the Walkers seem to be a bit impractical considering the existing technology in this universe, they are cool as hell to watch. Han Gets Frozen "I Love You" "I Know" - Is it me, or is the Carbon Freezing Chamber the coolest set in the history of film? "We would be honored if you would join us" - A dinner invitation I might want to refuse, I mean... I like free food and all but..... Lando, Lando, Lando - works every time! Star Wars: Episode Six: Return of the Jedi Oola - Man, she is HOT! Vader Unmasked - You know you love it. Lando and Wedge get Some Glory - Two heroes get their time in the sun. Jabbas Bong - I wonder what he is smoking and exactly how high it gets him. And how much does it cost? Luke Vs Vader and Palpy - Extreme Psychological Warfare. Very cool stuff. The Dead Ewok - There should have been a few more of them. The ravages of war takes its toll on the Ewoks. KEWL! "You Rebel Scum" - PERFECT line delivery. "So be it... Jedi.” - EVEN BETTER line delivery. Yoda Dies and Kenobi Reveals the Truth - Great sequence, always captivating. Leia in Her Slave Outfit - HUBBA HUBBA, this image still fuels mastabatory fantasies for me. Crap, I have revealed to much about myself again. So anyhoo, print this page. DO IT! DO IT NOW!!! Now every time your get a lull in your Star Warsness, and a little attitude about all things from that far away galaxy you can read these things and remember some of the seasons why you love the darn story to begin with. Ric Nimrod