Time Flies When Your Havin' Fun or when you are busy as HELL, or when you are stoned. Posted by: Ric Nimrod 6-13-01 11:01am GOLLY, is it time for an update already? Well, the mighty nimrod has been busy as hell and time is not his friend as of late. I have taken on a second job producing overnight programming at a talk radio station. This in addition to my other job and the Summer II session beginning has ol' nimmy in the hot seat with little to no time to catch up. Livin' on no sleep, cheap weed and Mountain Dew. HOWEVER lucky for you loyal nimrodians that your hero has taken a little time to write a quick column. TODAYS TOPIC: Sequels I KNOW, I KNOW, I just did a column on 4th films in a franchise (in which I left out "Conquest for the Planet of the Apes. CFTPOTA is a DAMN fine forth film and I am sorry I forgot to include it) and I did a follow up last week so the topic is a little played out BUT still more can be said. The reason that the topic is still fresh is that recently Eonline, the Internet source for E! Television, did their version of the top 10 WORST sequels of ALL TIME and chiming in at # 1 was none other than É Drum roll please! Episode One: The Phantom Menace. Now, I don't need to tell you that this has fans in an UPROAR! As a matter of fact on fan said that Lucas should cut E! outta the loop and give them no advertising or footage/scoops when the hype starts next year. And if you remember, E! was a great source for EP1 news as the big day drew near. It is my opinion that news is news and the media can not be blamed for opinion NO MATTER HOW WRONG IT MAY BE. And for any Lucas influenced SW news ban would be childish. I do not expect any recourse, shit - he probably does not even KNOW about this stoopid Worst 10 list from E!. ANYHOO Here is E!s list 10- Color of Money (sequel to The Hustler) 1- Rocky V 1- Trail of the Pink Panther 1- Look Who's Talking Too 1- Jaws: The Revenge 5- Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 4- Caddyshack 2 3- Speed 2: Cruise Control 2- Batman & Robin 1- Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace   SOOOOO Outta that list TPM is the WORST. I think not SHIT, I do not even think most of those films belong on the list. Here are the justified entries: Batman & Robin, Look Who's Talking Too, and Speed 2. And out of those 3 even Speed 2 has some redeeming qualities (Sandra Bullock in a swimsuit for one) MY RETORT: Color of Money- not so bad at all. Scorsese directed it, Paul Newman won an Oscar for it and it has Superstar in the making Tom Cruise. It is flawed BUT IT IS FAR FROM ONE OF THE WORST SEQUELS OF ALL TIME! Rocky V- This film is FAR better than the forth installment (see my "Curse of the 4th Film column" for more on the Rocky Saga) Rocky 5 is a fine sequel, if you wanna pick on the franchise, go with Rocky 4. Trail of the Pink Panther : Considering Peter Sellers WAS DEAD when they where making this film, it is pretty good. Indeed the weakest Pink Panther film BUT still OK. Look Who's Taking Too : This film SUCKS and is indeed one of the worst sequels ever. Jaws: The Revenge : To pick on this film is futile. After the first one - THEY ALL SUCK! No one Jaws sequel sucks more then another as they ALL stink up the house. Blair Witch 2 : Not so bad, an OK way to cash in quick. Caddyshack 2 : Not bad at all, as a matter of fact - if the first one have never been made, this film would have been a classic. As it is, it is a rehash of the original BUT it does have its share of laffs. Speed 2 : Its pretty lame, but as I said before - it does have Sandra in a bathing suit. Batman and Robin : A mess of a film Episode One : This is NOT a bad sequel at all. Flawed? Yes. BUT STILL not bad and its inclusion on this list only goes to show how film illiterate the writer of the piece was (his name is Jeff Reid by the way) Even if you do not like the film, it is CERTIANLY NOT the WORST OF ALL FRIGGIN' TIME! SO, how about the Nimrod top 10 worst sequels of all time. 10- Home Alone 2: Lost in New York - A perfect example of how Hollywood will milk a cash cow. The first film was OK and had some laffs BUT THIS PIECE OF CRAP is an insult to everything Hughes did in the first one. I guess he and director Chris Columbus went to well once to many times - . OH YEAH there is a third one so I guess they went to the well twice to many times. A stoopid sequel to a mildly entertaining film. 2- I Still Know What You Did Last Summer : and I STILL do not give a crap. This AIN'T the Scream franchise, nor any other horror franchise. It is a SUCK all unto its own. A LAME follow up to a LAME film. (REMEMBER, casting Brandy is NOT a good idea) 2- The Rage: Carrie 2 - Why wait 20 years to make a BAD follow up to a great flick. 2- Breakin' 2: The Electric Boogaloo : Although it does have that cool scene where Turbo dances with a broom. 6- Meatballs 2: Yes, there are other Meatballs sequels that are worse, but this one got the ball rolling. I mean at least with the Police Academy movies you can not really do any harm, I mean they are bad from the first frame of the first film BUT Meatballs was a cute film and ALL of its follow ups are inferior. 5- Grease 2: This Michelle Pfeiffer vehicle is a big gay dance number from the beginning on. Not that the first one wasn't BUT it had the Travolta factor (the only thing that saves Stayin' Alive: Saturday Night Fever 2 from making the list) 4- Look Who's Talking Too: I must agree with E! on this one. And there is ALSO a 3rd installment in this compelling saga. Even the Travolta factor can not help this CRAP! 3- Superman 4: The Quest for Peace : NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! 2- Batman & Robin: Again I agree with E!, this film is a big gay dance number from the beginning on BUT it is NOT a musical. Not only one of the worst sequels ever BUT a candidate for one of the worst films ever. BUT you have all heard my B&R rants before. #1- Free Willy 3: The Rescue : Enuff said. Write to me and let me know YOUR picks for worst sequels of all time. I mean with Jurassic Park 3 opening and Crocodile Dundee 3 just finishing its theatrical run, the list is ALWAYS changing BUT one thing is for sure - . NO Star Wars film will ever make my worst of all time list, how about you? Thanks for reading, Nimrod is OUT!