Action Figures & Their Beers -- It just popped in there . . .

by Beedo Sookcool
on 2025-12-31, 05:54:15

STAY PUFT SALTED CARAMEL MARSHMALLOW PORTER

“We’re on a mission to bring you great times with great beer. We do this by creating brands that get people talking and drinks that get people shouting. And when we’re not brewing beers, we’re trying to improve the lives of our people, community, and planet.” Well, good on ya, then!

This is another Tiny Rebel brew, the same people who brought us Full Nelson and Cwtch. It claims to be a Salted Caramel Marshmallow Porter, but their beers that I’ve tried so far have a tendency to be hop-heavy, so I’m approaching this with some skepticism. And the “Store Cold, Drink Fresh” isn’t helping.

So how is it? Well, it’s 5.2% ABV, and, well . . . it’s a bit much. It’s rich. And it tries to do one too many things, I think.

If it was a salted caramel porter, that would be fine. If it were a marshmallow porter, that would be fine. If it were marshmallows coated in salted caramel, that would be okay, too. But salted caramel marshmallow porter is like one of those recipes you occasionally see pop up on one of your Midwestern friends’ Facebook feeds that tells you how to make Smoky Maple Bourbon BBQ Pulled Pork Nacho Cheese Cinnamon Toast Crunch Tacos. It’s what you’d bait a trap with if you were trying to catch Homer Simpson. I think it might be the salt, honestly. It stands out and doesn’t really play well with the other flavours. But don’t get me wrong – it’s still a fairly nice beer, and I certainly wouldn’t turn it down if someone handed me one at a party. It’s just . . . a bit extra.

And the action figure pairing is just a given. I have only ever owned one Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man action figure, and it’s the one made for the 2016 parallel-universe movie where they took four funny women and gave them barely any funny lines. In said movie – which my wife fell asleep watching, she found it so tedious – the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is actually a possessed parade balloon, so this version has some well-sculpted puckered seams that make it look exactly like it’s been made out of fabric and inflated. It also lights up red, for some reason. It’s also, as I mentioned when I used it in the Action Figures & Their Chocolate Bars, Part II article, one of the most articulated Mr. Stay-Puft figures I’ve ever seen, considering the only one that beats it is an obscenely expensive Japanese import specialty figure.

Drink this if you also like: Dessert beers, porters, dessert stouts, sweet ales.

Oh, and Happy New year, or something . . . .