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Scott "Marblehead" is a disgruntled former Hasbro employee, an expert in all things Star Wars, and a finder of rare antiquities. If you would like your question answered by the master, Ask Scott Something!

The Prevailing Wisdom
Posted by: Marblehead 4-1-01 12:01am

Hey Scott, I got this old Jawa I think might be a VC Jawa. See, the cape is made of plastic instead of cloth. But the cape seems a little long, cuz it's goes like 1/2 an inch below his feet. Also, the shoulder holes are really big. Plus, the cape is gray. But I still think this is the real thing! What do you think, should I eBay this sucker?
Oliver Cloezov, Albany, NY

Dear naked one, the figure you have in possession is in actuality not a Jawa at all. Going by your description it could be one of two possiblities. It could be one of the poor children fondled by Michael Jackson under the rainbow. Ever since that horrific ordeal, the little guy has been roaming the earth aimlessly in search for answers to his misguided life. Or it could be one of the munchkin stars from Ron Jeremy's porn production spoof, "Whizzers of Oz." Bring your raincoat, things could get wet.

Scott: Do you think POTF2 first shots are over-valued? How about hard copies?
I. P. Daily, Milwaukee, WI

I sure hope so. I have a few hundred that I need to unload on those poor, unsuspecting moneybags bidding at ebay. Hardcopies are another story. Any hardcopy, vintage or recent, should be considered to yield significant value. Hardcopies are produced in much lower numbers than firstshots of any kind.

Dude, how much beer would C-3PO need to drink for him to be as cool as Bender from Futurama?
Phillip J. Fry, New New York, NY

Ahh, a man with my beliefs. I don't believe in much, but I believe I will have another drink. Unfortunately 3PO would never achieve the same social acceptance as Bender. If 3PO were to drink the demon alcohol it would be more along the lines of say a brandy, sherry or some fruity coconut
concoction. C-3PO is a girl drink drunk, he's too whiney to be considered cool by the likes of the seedy bar crowd. Now, would he smoke cigars? That's a whole 'nother story. After years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses....I drink right from the bottle.

Scott: What's up with the bubble on the Tri-logo EV-9D9. Did they forget to put the Force File in there or something?
G. Lopez, Seattle, WA

I'm not intelligent enough to answer this question much less know what the hell you're talking about. It's just plastic. Open the damn thing and give it a good work out, hence the term TOY!

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