The Curse of #4 Posted by: Ric Nimrod 5-9-01 3:31pm Howdy friends of the revolution; CC's on staff nimrod is in the hizouse y'all. And my, oh my, we are at T-minus twelve months and counting. Is everyone ready? Are you like me, do you feel as if the upcoming Star Wars film is going to ROCK?! I have only good feelings about Episode 2. WHY are my feelings so positive? We are OVER the curse of the fourth film. What is the curse of the fourth film? Well, MOST franchise films have a BIG problem with the fourth installment. In some cases, the fourth film DESTROYS the entire franchise. Allow the nimrod to elaborate: The fourth film IS CRUCIAL to a franchise BECAUSE we are comfortable with the world that exists in the film. We know the characters and we know the way they react to situations. We know the rules of that particular universe. (A man can fly, fire and sound in space, mutant powers etc.etc.) So in response to our being familiar with the "universe" of the film, Hollywood tries to throw you something you have not seen yet. (New characters or impossible situations) THIS IS THE WRONG THING TO DO! We as the audience NEED stability, we don't mind if the Caped Crusader has only one adversary or villain in the story. IT IS A MISTAKE TO STACK THE ODDS TOO HEAVY AGAINST THE HERO! Example: Batman 4: Batman & Robin Batman must fight Poison Ivy, Bane and Dr. Freeze. PLUS we get the unnecessary addition of Batgirl. These factors combined with the poorly written dialog and the homoerotic, ice-capades style of the film DESTROYED the sacred Batman franchise. Is it a coincidence that after this retarded film was seen by the fans that they STOPPED making Batman films? NO. Now don't get me wrong... I know that sooner or later we will have a new Batman film AND I believe it will be good. I mean, it ain't Shakespeare we are talking about. It cannot be hard to tell a good DETECTIVE story with the Batman. BUT the franchise got hit with the curse of the 4th film, and has yet to recover. Need more examples, WELL then OK... never let it be said that I did not give the people what they wanted. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace- This film is a PIECE OF CRAP! How the hell can ANYONE take a sure hit franchise like SUPERMAN and make this film? This film makes Batman & Robin look like a friggin' MASTERPIECE! The effects are WORSE then the previous three films (shouldn't the effects get better?) and the plot is NON-EXISTENT (The man of steel tries to rid the Earth of nuclear weapons, and after a series of events must fight Nuclearman). PLUS they added Jon Cryer as Lenny Luthor (Lex's nephew) for the comic relief, as if the plot wasn't funny enough. I swear to you, my loyal nimrodians, that my four-year-old niece invents more compelling storylines with her Barbie, fisher price people and other assorted horse and dog figures. This is a great example of the 4th film curse. Still more? Alien Resurrection - WHY? This is just OVERKILL on the Ripley story Rocky IV - This film is a 2-hour music video. It features a shallow plot with Rock fighting a GIANT Russian (Who kills Apollo Creed in the ring). THANKFULLY the franchise rebounded a bit with Rocky V. At least they showed they could still make a film with a story instead of a rock video for the AWESOME music of Survivor. Lethal Weapon 4- while this films does feature a GREAT car chase (one of the BEST ever put on film... IMHO) as well as the chop/chop fighting of Jet Li, it really is a franchise killer, what with Riggs' baby and Rodger STILL not retired yet (wasn't he a week away from retirement in the first friggin' film?). NOTE: When your main PSHYCO rouge cop settles down and has a baby, then you know YOUR FRANCHISE HAS BEEN SMACKED WITH THE FOURTH FILM CURSE!!! NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS: View Askew 4: Dogma - Probably the STRONGEST film in the Kevin Smith universe of the stoner Jay and Silent Bob inhabited "New Jersey" stories. The Star Trek franchise - Why? BECAUSE with the exception of Star Trek 2:The Wrath of Kahn and Star Trek: First Contact ALL OF THE FILMS SUCK! The James Bond Films - Why? Because each Bond film is really a stand-alone film in the sense that you rarely see any actual "sequel" elements. Dirty Harry franchise - See James Bond explanation above. All Anal Gang Bang 4 - This could be the most important chapter in this compelling and gripping saga. STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE - This film. This piece in our beloved puzzle is the FOURTH FILM in our sacred and glorious saga. WE ARE OVER THE HUMP! Most people in the Star Wars community (and the casual-fan, world at large) feel as if EP1:TPM is the weakest film in the franchise thus far. (Despite it being the #2 biggest money maker in the history of film!) I agree with the majority of you, TPM is the weakest film in the franchise. BUT if that is as bad as it gets then we are in for a FAN-FRIGGIN'-TASTIC ride with the next two films. I mean, TPM has its flaws (all of which have been discussed to the point of nausea) but it IS Star Wars. It does have the magic. It does have the myth. It does have its spectacle and wonder. It feels like Star Wars from the beginning to the end. YES it does suffer from trying to do too much. (A common symptom with the wretched 4th film curse) BUT it sets up GREAT possibilities for a kick-ass couple of sequels. WE ARE OVER THE HUMP, we looked the 4th Film curse in the eye and took our lumps and MADE IT OUT relatively unharmed. FOURTH FILM CURSE BE DAMNED! STAR WARS RULES! And with that said... I believe we have yet to see the BEST Star Wars film. That's right my friends, I think the best is yet to come. I think we WILL see the equal or the better to Empire Strike Back! I FEEL IT IN MY BONES! (Or maybe that was left over from my earlier screening of All Anal Gang Bang 4) May 2002 cannot get here SOON ENUFF FOR ME! he ramblings of the, Nimrod