You gotta be kidding me... "The Mummy Returns???" Posted by: Ric Nimrod 5-9-01 3:31pm Well, as a 33 year old College Jr., I am currently in the midst of the dreaded finals week. Somehow, in the middle of editing a film, writing two separate papers, designing a magazine and studying for a slew of final exams, I have found time to see The Mummy Returns. My review is simple... if you liked the first one (some folks did not get the tone of the first one) you will like this one. It is an adventure from beginning to end. BUT I am not here to write a review or even talk about the Mummy sequel. Leaving the film with a movie buddy, we where in the midst of discussing the films pros and cons. One of the cons was that the FX work seemed a little unfinished (no doubt the result of an evil studio trying to make as much $$ as possible as soon as possible), then we both thought about where we will be in one year form now. We will be leaving our viewing of Spiderman and be a mere two weeks away from the next Star Wars sequel. You are thinking: WHAT THE DAMN, STINKIN' HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MUMMY YOU JACKASS NIMROD?! Well, I will tell you what that has to do with the Mummy. The Mummy has broken TPMs record of most $$ made in the opening weekend (non-holiday). WE CAN NOT LET THIS BE. I really liked BOTH Mummy films, but THEY AIN'T NO STAR WARS! What really chaps my ass (besides a waist high flame) is that this Mummy sequel was only 2 years in the making, and the box office of the first film (albeit a fun film) was GREATLY benefited from opening two weeks before TPM. The country was in a DROOLING GEEK HAVEN with the anticipation of a film SIXTEEN YEARS in the making and READY to be blown away by a film SO they/we went to see the Mummy as a pacifier to hold us over until TPM opened. THAT IS WHY THE MUMMY WAS A FINANCIAL SUCCESS. So I come to you my friends, my enemies, my fans and my family, I come to you with this plea. GO SEE THE NEXT STAR WARS FILM ON OPENING WEEKEND. Do not allow this record the Mummy has stand. If you do not go to a mid-week showing (the film will probably open on a Wednesday) make sure you attend on opening weekend. Help Star Wars recapture its record. (now if only ANH would be re-released, so we could take care of the little record TITANIC has stolen from us) WE THE SW FAITHFUL CAN NOT ALLOW THIS RECORD TO STAND. This is against all that is good in the world of films and there is currently a great disturbance in the Force. TOGETHER WE CAN RIGHT THIS WRONG! Now some random thoughts: My Jedi training has had some serious progress in the last month. 1- In a fit of rage and during a heated exchange with a professor of mine I actually just shut up. I KNOW, I KNOW, it is hard to believe, but despite every impulse I had to call him a jerk and threaten him with violence, I resisted. To me this is a great turning point. I have learned to CHOOSE my battles and that sometimes I should SHUT UP! A great lesson for a man whose constant problems in life are due to his inability to control his mouth. 2- I learned that despite my "hard" shell and seemingly emotionless attitude toward people not directly effecting my life, I have gotten to the point where I actually feel loss. What does this mean? Well, I just finished up an internship at a radio station and despite my ability to distance my self emotionally from co-workers and casual associates, I found myself actually missing them and wanting to continue our relationships. HHMMMM, even the coldest heart can be warmed. It seems as thought I have taken a step into a much larger world... or maybe it was the pot I smoked, either way, I felt a great loss. So, as you can see, my training is coming along and one day I hope to be a Jedi (or at least a somewhat acceptable member of society). In a follow up to some previous columns: I have been receiving e-mail from readers who have gotten the SW DVDs I wrote about and ALL of the feedback has been very positive. If this sways anyone decision to buy them, drop me a line and I will point you in the right direction (REMEMBER THAT I AM NOT THE SELLER AND MAKE NO MONEY IN THESE TRANSACTIONS) No, the gentleman I referred to as Jawa Turd in my STATE OF SW ADDRESS and I have not really patched up our differences HOWEVER he has since rejoined the list-serve I belong to (in spite of my presence) and I could not be happier about it. This man is a true fan and his passion for SW when colliding with my naturally confrontational attitude provided us with a heated discussion that ended with harsh words and his leaving the list that I KNOW he loves. Although he has never apologized for his words (nor have I for mine) I must say that his passion has earned my respect. He is Jawa Turd no more! I only bring this up because I have received e-mails asking about it. I would also like to say thanks to the many people who are e-mailing me lately. A lot of great people, HOWEVER I have not yet received any site related hate mail, the cowards send it to Bill Cable instead of me. REMEMBER THAT I WORK HARD TO PISS YOU OFF and I feel as if I deserve my own hate mail. It's a pride thing. In another e-mail related topic BRAD.... GO BUY A FRIGGIN' DVD PLAYER! (or a PS2 - B.C.) AND so we are entering the final year in our wait for Episode 2. THAT IS PLENTY OF TIME TO SAVE YOUR MONEY AND GO SEE EP2 OPENING WEEKEND AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE. We just can not let a film with WWF star The Rock in it be the biggest grossing weekend in film history. That, my friends, is UNACCEPTABLE! The Mummy must "know its role" as SW Lays the SMACK DOWN ON ITS ROODY POO CANDY ASS next May. I am OUT Ric Nimrod