Frankenvader
Posted by: Darth Danno 10.24.07 12:01am
The Emperor stood in the bowels of his secret lair on Coruscant, staring down upon his latest creation. It was an imposing figure, clad entirely in black, from the helmet that adorned his head and face, to the boots which covered his cybernetic feet. Once brought to life, this...thing would become his new apprentice, and help him rule over his newly created Empire. All he needed was one component to make him complete.

"Bring in the brain!" The Emperor commanded over his comm.

Immediately, two members of the 501st entered carrying a brain in a bacta tank. They handed it off to the DD-13 Cybernetic Surgical "Chopper" Droid who quickly went about his appointed task. Within a short time, he was finished, and stepped back to let Palpatine examine the work.

"Good." Darth Sidious nodded. "Very good". He then turned and addressed the members of the 501st who had brought in the organ. "You did well in getting Anakin Skywalker's brain here so quickly from Mustafar. His body was simply too damaged from his fight with Kenobi to be of any..."

"Excuse me, sir." One of the troopers interrupted. "What exactly did you say our orders were again?"

The Emperor looked at them quizzically. "To have the brain be brought here from Mustafar, why?"

The clone troopers looked at each other, then glanced everywhere around the room except at Palpatine.

Sidious glared at them. "Well? Spit it out!"

One trooper cleared his throat, and began. "You see, sir. We sometimes can't hear too well with these helmets on, and we thought you said to have the brain brought here by Jar Jar."

The Emperor's eyes went wide. "Do you mean to tell me you left an assignment of this importance to a simple Gungan, and a simple idiot Gungan at that!"

Before the troopers could answer, Palpatine turned to the prone form strapped to the table. "Darth Vader, can you hear me." The body didn't acknowledge him. "Lord Vader...rise!" Still no reaction. Sidious then turned back to the clones. "Bring me Jar Jar Binks NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Post haste, the troopers had the frightened Gungan kneeling before the Emperor within the hour.

Palpatine brought Jar Jar's face close to his own. "I am going to ask you a question, and I want it answered quickly and with total honesty, for I will know if you are lying, and dishonesty with me will be met with swift and painful torture, do you understand?" The Gungan nodded. "Good, now, what exactly did the Clone Troopers order you to do?"

"That's a-easy." Jar Jar replied, "I was a-to get a brain for the Emperor!"

Palpatine nodded, "And to do this, you went to Mustafar?

Jar Jar looked down at the floor before replying. "Uh, Mustafar?...no."

"No!" Sidious shouted, "That's where Anakin Skywalker's brain was!"

The Gungan looked up at Palpatine with obvious horror. "Yousa wanted Annie's brain??!!!"

"Of course!!" Palpatine bellowed. "Whose brain did you think...wait, if you didn't get Skywalker's brain, whose brain DID you retrieve???"

Just then, the body on the table stirred, raised itself up, broke its restraints, and looked at everyone in the room. Jar Jar, Palpatine, and the troopers stopped what they were doing and stared back at the risen figure. Sidious approached his creation and spoke. "Who... exactly are you?"

"Jar Jar gave a sheepish smile. ‘Isa was told to bring Annie's brain, but I thought yousa meant..."

Then the black-clad figure spread his arms, raised his head up and in a loud, booming voice belted out, "THE SUN'LL COME OUT, TOMORROW, BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW...THERE'LL BE SUN..." Seeing Sidious, he shouted, "Leaping Lizards Daddy Warbucks, you sure look tired! I mean, look at all the wrinkles on your face!"

Palpatine's hands went to his head as he dropped to his knees and let out a painful "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"