Fans still demanding their CC.com (Part 3)
Posted by: Darth Danno 08.29.07 12:01am
Slowly and cautiously, I pushed the bathroom door open a crack to see what was going on outside. Dave watched for me and when he saw me, he nodded that all was well…for now. I nodded back and slowly shut the door. Glancing at my watch, I saw the time was already 5:00, only two hours until the convention closed for the day. I took a deep breath, centered my thoughts, and exited the bathroom in grand fashion, careful the door closed immediately behind me, so no one standing in line could get a glimpse of the "signing room’s" actual contents. Upon noticing my arrival, many of the gathered started bombarding me with questions. I raised my hands for silence, and then began my impromptu speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, fans of CreatureCantina.com. We appreciate your patience and understanding. I wanted to inform you that I have heard from Bill Cable, and he has just gotten into his limousine, and is expected to be here shortly. Even though time is running somewhat short, rest assured Mr. Cable will sign autographs as long as time permits. Now I have a few things I need to attend to, but will try to answer any and all questions momentarily, thank you."

Some applauded, others simply shrugged and nodded. I flashed them all a winning smile, then grabbed Dave and Jessey and pulled them off to a side. As quickly as I could, I told them of my plan, and what I needed each of them to do. Dave suggested we simply ask the crowd to disperse, of course he’d need to go out to his car and get his assault cannon and load it with enough plasma shells and long-range explosive rockets to make sure the point got across. I appreciated his input, but felt it would be simpler and safer to go with my plan. Being the ultimate soldier, he agreed to follow my orders.

Both Jessey and Dave took off on their prospective missions. Now it was just up to me to make sure this gathering didn’t riot in the meantime. Glancing back at my watch, it was now 5:15; I just needed to give those two a little more time. I decided to aid in eating up the clock by answering the myriad of questions that were being hurled at me: "What is Bill Cable really like?" "Has George Lucas ever met him?" "How can I get a job working for CC.com?" "Is it true Lucasfilm is filming a documentary on his life?" I tried to make the answers as lengthy as possible without boring everyone to death. Then came the announcement over the P.A. system I was waiting for.

"Attention ladies and gentlemen, due to a problem with the air conditioning units, for everyone’s safety, we are going to have to shut down WizardWorld Chicago for the day. We apologize for any inconvenience and no, no refunds will be given due to the late hour. Please exit the facility in a neat and orderly fashion, and thank you for visiting the Donald A. Stevens Convention Center in Rosemont Ill."

Most of the responses from the masses could not be printed here. Needless to say, no one was happy with this recent turn of events. I just couldn’t understand why Dave hadn’t done his part. I even heard somebody say, "Problems with the air conditioning? It seems to be working fin…"

Then from somewhere high above, a series of deafening booms resonated throughout the complex. The fire alarms went off, and mad panic ensued as everyone rushed to the nearest egress, or exit as it were. Trying to give legitimacy to everything, I unclipped my cell phone from my belt and started shouting into it like I was barking orders over a walkie-talkie.

"This is Hem Dazon calling Wuhrer, I repeat, this is Hem Dazon calling Wuhrer. Abort mission to bring Chalmun into the Cantina. Imperial Forces have entered the complex! I say again, Imperial Forces have entered the complex!!!"

Once outside, amidst the scores of misplaced fans, police, fire, and paramedics, I reconnoitered with Dave and Jessey. I commended her on her performance over the P.A., but wanted to know what went wrong with Dave’s part of the mission.

"You were supposed to find the controls for the air conditioning and shut it down." I said, "What happened?"

Dave simply shrugged his shoulders. "I looked for them but couldn’t find them, too many doors and too little time. I just decided it would be easier if I dealt with the problem at the source!"

Hesitantly, I queried. "So???"

Dave smiled proudly. "I introduced the roof’s air conditioning units to some thermal detonators!"

"How many?" I asked.

"How many what?" He replied.

"How many A.C. units did you introduce to the thermal detonators?"

"All of 'em!"

"All of 'em???!!!" Well, at least he was thorough. No doubt our little act of sabotage would keep the convention closed tomorrow as well. So that would quell any questions of Mr. B.C. possibly coming in tomorrow.

The Force was with us, as it turned out that not a single sole needed to be taken to the hospital. The blast radius was relegated to the roof alone and since no one was up there, (Dave had gotten to safety by that time) no one was even slightly injured. It was rumored that many needed to go home and change their shorts, or whatever undergarments they were wearing at that time though.

Now, how to put a positive spin on all this, and make sure none of this reflects badly on CC. Com…hmmmmmmm…A-HA!!!

Next week: THE AFTERMATH