Sith Mania - Round 3 Posted by: Darth Danno 10.11.06 12:01am Here we are again folks, back for round 3 and have we got some exciting match ups in store for today. The tension is high and there's slaughter in the air. So let's go right to the action! PUMPKINHEAD vs. TIFFANY This is a true David and Goliath match up and if Tiffany can pull this out, could be one of the greatest upsets in the history of Sith Mania. Oh, wait, this is the first Sith Mania. So never mind. Alright, the bell has rung and Tiffany lets out a scream and flings a butcher knife right into Pumpkinhead's...thigh. He snarls at her, yanks the knife out and tosses it aside, and stomps over to Tiffany and...WOW! He just stepped on her and flattened her with one blow! But he continues to stomp on her, over and over and over and...Grab some refreshments people, this could be awhile. WINNER: Pumpkinhead FREDDY vs. JIGSAW Another match where the opponents seem somewhat un-matched. The favorite here is Freddy, but looking at him in the ring, he looks scared out of his mind! I don't understand this! Freddy is pleading with Jigsaw, but Jigsaw just stands there, his hands buried in the folds of his cloak, shaking his head and laughing. Freddy keeps trying to speak, but nothing is coming out of his mouth! It's got to be some kind of trick on Freddy's part. They're now circling each other, and Freddy is doing his best to try and stay away from Jigsaw! Now Freddy is finally taking the initiative and tries to claw Jigsaw. Man, look at him swing that glove! .You'd think he'd never used the thing before! He's not getting anywhere close to Jigsaw! Jigsaw looks like he's really enjoying this show. Wait! Someone is running up the aisle! It's Amanda! Jigsaw's protege! She's grabbing a chair and climbing into the ring behind Freddy! Freddy turns around and...OOOOOH! Got a face full of chair! He's down on the mat and Amanda is struggling with Freddy! SHE GOT HIS GLOVE OFF!!! She's now waving it around to the crowd and is PUTTING IT ON! She raises it high and...RAMS IT RIGHT INTO FREDDY'S MIDSECTION!!!! He''s in a galaxy of pain, but for some reason, he won't scream. It looks like he's trying, but again, nothing is coming out. He keeps grabbing at the back of his head. What's he trying to do? Rip his own skin off? Amanda is waving the bloody glove around like some morbid trophy. She circles around Freddy, who is still on the mat, and slices the back of his head open!!! He grabs at it and...His skin IS coming off...Wait?...What??? I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! It really IS a mask!!! And underneath it is...JIGSAW??? His mouth has been taped shut! No wonder he couldn't talk or scream! Amanda is looking down at this in horror! And the Jigsaw who is still standing, just whipped off his robe and is peeling off his face...IT'S FREDDY!!!!! In all his nightmarish glory!!! Freddy must have known Amanda would try something like this and drugged the real Jigsaw and dressed him up to look like Freddy! Now the real Freddy is going after Amanda! OH YUCK! I'm not even going to comment on what he...just...did...to...her, there may be children present. So a devious double-team backfires with disasterous consequences! Jigsaw is out and Amanda is...never mind. Now who is going to clean up this mess???? WINNER: Freddy JASON vs. MICHAEL Jason has another tough match this week and I hear the betting is even money on this one! The two combatants are just glaring at each other from behind their masks across the opposite sides of the ring. Neither appears to want to make the first move. Come on somebody, do something! Wait!...What the hack is that? There's a shimmering light in the middle of the ring! It's William Shatner!! Captain Kirk himself and he brought one of the Borg with him? He's glaring at Michael***. Kirk just said something to the Borg and the Borg is turning to Michael and said "You will be assimilated." ...NOW MICHAEL IS DISAPPEARING!!!! Michael just got beamed up by the Borg! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING!!! Now Jason is charging at Kirk, but Kirk just beamed himself up! Now the only one in the ring is Jason! Michael Myers as a Borg??? What are they going to call him...Michael X? WINNER: (By default) Jason *** - For those of you who may not know, the Michael Myers mask is actually a William Shatner mask turned inside out. NEXT WEEK: Two will fight, one will wait. Find out who next week...