Sith Mania - Round 2 Posted by: Darth Danno 10.04.06 12:01am All right fans. We've got a lot of action taking place this week as these frightening fighters ferociously face foe after foe, clawing their way to become the official Sith apprentice. But first they'll have to get past the current apprentice...Darth Vader! So let's jump right into the action!!!! Now this week is definitely separating the wheat from the chaff as a lot of these fights were somewhat...short. So forgive me if I just list the highlights for some. FREDDY KRUEGER vs. SANTANICO PANDEMONIUM or the Dream Master vs. the Vampire Stripper. Freddy got Santanico in a sleeper hold and put her to sleep. She woke up in dreamland on a nice, sandy beach in the middle of the day. And we all know what happens to vampires who are out in the sun. So her body combusted right in the middle of the ring. WINNER: Freddy Krueger MICHAEL MYERS vs. NORMAN BATES I guess taking the initiative doesn't work as Norman (dressed in his mothers best dress and wig) charged at Michael and jammed a knife right into Michael's heart. Michael just glanced down at the knife protruding from his chest, looked at Norman, grabbed Mr. Bates' head with both hands and did a complete 720 with it. (Meaning he turned Norman's head completely around...twice.) I guess it's true what they say about one good turn... WINNER: Michael Myers PUMPKINHEAD vs. the TALL MAN Again, making the first move didn't succeed as the Tall Man sent his metal orbs to attack PH, who just swatted them away like one would swat flies. Pumpkinhead then grabbed the Tall Man, turned him over, grabbing a leg in each gigantic hand, making the Tall Man look like some huge wishbone, which I assume was the point as Pumpkinhead then proceeded to...make a wish! WINNER: Pumpkinhead JIGSAW vs. PINHEAD Pinhead started out (again, bad idea) by taunting Jigsaw about all the things he was going to do to him. Jigsaw just reached into the folds of his cloak, and pulled out Pinhead's puzzle box. Knowing how well Jigsaw likes to play games, he had the box open in no time and a brilliant light shot out of its center which completely engulfed Pinhead. Faster than you could say "Live or die, make your choice." The light, box, and Pinhead had all disappeared. WINNER: Jigsaw PUPPET MASTER vs. CHILD'S PLAY Chucky managed to dispatch Blade, Tunneler, and Jester before Pinhead, Six Shooter, and Torch ganged up on him and took him down. Leech Woman proved to be no match against Tiffany as Tiffany ended up shoving Ms. Leech's leeches...where the sun doesn't shine. It's now 3 against one as we join the match already in progress. Pinhead is choking the life of of Tiffany, she doesn't appear to be able to break the grasp of those big hands. She's struggling to remain conscious. This could all be over in a few moments. Wait, what's she doing? HOLY COW!!! With what little strength she had left, she managed to lift up her top and flashed Pinhead!!!! He loosened his grip, taken totally by surprise. She used the opportunity to KNEE HIM IN THE FAMILY JEWELS!!! He's down in a world of pain now. Tiffany has regained her composure, is up on her feet, and crying out "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CHUCKY!!!" Clasps her hands together, raises them above her head and...I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!! She bashed Pihhead on the top of the head so hard, his head completely retracted into his body and it...OWWWWWW!!!! Here I thought passing a kidney stone was painful! Pinhead is out, but Six Shooter has Tiffany in his sights and...OH NO! He never reloaded from shooting Chucky! Torch has his flame thrower primed and ready to go, and we're about to have toasted Tiffany unless she can... Torch lets loose a huge blast of flame and Tiffany THROWS SIX SHOOTER RIGHT IN THE PATH OF IT!!! Six Shooter is now running around the ring, a gigantic ball of fire! Torch is in shock and too busy watching Six Shooter to see Tiffany sneaking up behind him and SHE'S GOT A KNIFE!!! Torch turns around and OOOOOOOH!!!! Tiffany just stabbed him in the eye! He's down and Tiffany just continues to stab him over and over and...Six Shooter is also down on the mat, doing a very good impersonation of Anakin on Mustafar. Tiffany just continues to puncture Torch. What's she doing? Going for the world record for stab wounds? C'mon ref, got in there and restore some order! This fight is over. WINNER: Tiffany JASON VOORHEES vs. LEATHERFACE This is the match everyone has been waiting for! It's the machete vs. the chainsaw and Leatherface has it gassed up and ready to go. The bell has rung and both opponents are making the first move and charging each other simultaneously! They collide in the middle of the ring and Jason gets the saw to his midsection while Leatherface gets the machete embedded in his heft shoulder! Leatherface bashes Jason in the face with the saw's housing. Jason shrugs it off and PICKS UP LEATHERFACE BY THE NECK WITH ONE HAND!!!! He's got him off the ground!!! Leatherface has still got the saw going and brings it down...CUTTING OFF JASON'S ARM!!! Blood is going everywhere as both fighters crash to the mat. Leatherface loses his grip on the saw and it goes sliding into a corner. Jason is the first up, walks over to Leatherface and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Leatherface is now lying on his stomach, I'm sure his jaw is busted. Jason yanks the machete out of Leathface's shoulder and raises it up, about to deliver a killing blow...but he stops. What's he doing? He's...looking...at...THE SAW!!! He's crossing over to it, embeds the machete in the mat, and picks up the saw with his one good arm. He revs it up and turns back to Leatherface, who is now back on his feet. Jason advances and slips on some blood, the saw flies out of his hand and up into the air as Jason crashes to the mat. Leatherface reaches up to catch it, hoping to gain the upper hand. The saw comes down blade first, goes right between Leatherface's hands and cracks him right in the face! The saw crashes down onto the mat and Leatherface crashes down onto the saw...FACE FIRST!!! OUCH!!!!! He's...not...moving. Jason is back on his feet, advancing on the fallen Leatherface. It doesn't look good. Wait! Who is that running down the aisle? It's the rest of the Hewitt clan, they've thrown a towel into the ring as they climb up to attend to their fallen family member. Jason wants to end this, but for some reason known only to him, he turns, walks to where his machete lies, pulls it from the mat, climbs out of the ring, and stomps back towards the dressing rooms. Somebody call Dr. Giggles to attend to Leatherface and re-attach Jason's arm! Let's get this place cleaned up! WINNER: Jason Voorhees Next week: Pumpkinhead vs. Tiffany, Jason vs. Michael, and Freddy vs. Jigsaw