Just a hint: Convention Do's and Don'ts Posted by: Baldy 09.06.06 12:01am After being at DragonCon over the long Labor Day weekend, I have a few insights for anyone that would want to go to any sort of convention. Most of these come from firsthand experiences and any and all names have been changed to protect the innocent and otherwise offensive persons I witnessed. Actually there aren't any names, I just like how that sounds. DO make sure to warn your roommates if you snore. A little snoring is to be expected when you stay up till 5AM or so drinking and wandering a convention area. Letting roommates know ahead of time helps them ignore you when it seems chainsaws are running at 6AM when you are facedown on the floor and incoherent. DON'T waste time trying to outrun the elevators by using the stairs. If you are on the 19th floor, there is NO way you can get there faster than waiting for the elevator. Trust me, after 12 flights, you will wish your legs would just go ahead and fall off. Less pain that way..... DO bathe DAILY. I swear if I had to endure one more large fanboy in the elevator that smelled of meat and refried beans I was gonna injure someone in a most horrible way. DON'T tell someone "I'll be right there", regardless of where you are at the con. With soooo many people around, it takes ages to get 15 feet in a lobby or bathroom area. Just tell your friends to cop a squat wherever they are and take a nap. You will be there within 2 hours....... really. DO take pictures of everyone and everything. You never know when you may need blackmail material for personal or hobby related gains. ( Trust me, I am so screwed now from this ) DON'T wait until you are hungry to decide where to get food. Anyplace you decide on will have a one hour wait minimum and they don't allow fainting in line. DO bring extra bedding for friends. It makes you look good and keeps people indebted to you for favors later. Plus they aren't *quite* as cranky when you kick them in the face at 7AM when you are trying to get to the bathroom. DON'T think you are the only one freaked out by any weird costumes. Yes, costumes are a major part of most cons but there are some outfits that nobody has any idea of what they really are. So don't feel bad if someone in a pink wig, pastel blue skirt, knee high stockings and fishnet top with pixie wings asks you where the man's room is. He has to pee too you know. DO speak your mind at any panel discussions you are going to. It makes you look smarter than the panelists and gives you the edge on picking up any would be hotties that are after nerds/geeks. DON'T speak your mind at any panel discussions you are going to. Most of the time they don't know what they are talking about but when you smart off, you look like a schmuck and then people tell you to settle down. That and seeing a grown man cry when you tell him his Frito Lay Ewok isn't worth the material its made of will kinda make you die inside just a little. DO bring your cell phone. Being lost at a con of any normal size will scare most people into hiding in a broom closet until 4AM when most of the freaks have gone to bed. The bad part is that the REAL freaks come out AFTER 4AM. Not that I would know that..... DON'T wear a costume you have to fight to get into. There are way too many people at cons wearing things that look like they are about to explode off of them. Look guys, just because Spiderman has a one piece suit that's latex or otherwise doesn't mean your 328 pound ass is getting into the same suit. There are laws of physics out there for a reason, don't try and break them because you think you will look good in a suit that's 12 sizes smaller than your baby sister's dresses. Plus, corsets are NOT for everyone dammit. DO bring extra cash for emergencies. Having cash is a great way to get that extra con exclusive figure or midnight snack. It also comes in handy for paying off bigger nerds than you when you bump into them and break their costume. Not that this works but you can always flash cash to the ladies and see what happens. Most times it will be a knee to the nads and you losing the money but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. One last thing to remember is to know your limits. Know that you can't hookup with the hot chicks at a con. They aren't there to take your phone or room number, they are there to take your money and your soul. Know when to say when, like when its time to sleep or get some food or go back to the dealer room in search of another possible deal. Also know your drinking limits. This above all else is key. If you don't know your limits, don't try and find them at a con. Your friends will turn on you and abuse you while you are passed out. They will take pics of you in compromising positions and use them for blackmail purposes. Not that I needed to be drunk to have any of this occur mind you......... I was just saying, I have seen it happen to other people. Yeah, that sounds good.