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Five most disturbing Star
Wars figure features
Posted by: Tresob
Yr 05.31.06 12:01am
I assume that, as desirable
as the job may seem, being a Star Wars Action Figure Sculptor
is a lonely life. This isn't based on some kind of prejudice
or stereotype against men who spend their lives carving out toys
for a living.
Rather, I have come to this conclusion
through careful inspection of my action figure collection.
If you think Disney has trouble
with animators hiding weird little perverted Easter eggs in their
movies, wait until you check out what's up at Hasbro...
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5. Rappertunie's Rear:
Fan sites have long since noted
this peculiarity in Rappertunie's mold. Don't see it? Look closer.
Yep. There's a little anus. Personally, I think this was probably
just something that happened in the factory, so it ranks as #5
on this list.
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4. Ponda Baba's Mouth:
You can't really fault the guys
at Hasbro for this one. They couldn't help it if the creature
crew at Lucasfilm wanted to design an alien whose face looked
like the bottom of a spanked masochist. Nevertheless, there it
is.
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3. Padme's Garter:
I always thought it was a little
peculiar when Hasbro started making "under the skirt"
features on the lady-figs, starting way back with the all-new
likeness of ANH Leia. This, however, was quite a surprise. And,
unlike the previous two entries, there is no question that this
was an intentional and superfluous addition on the part of the
Hasbro sculptors.
And who would have thought Padme
wore a garter to her secret wedding? Was R2 supposed to catch
it and slip on C-3PO?
Okay, boys, you can stop looking
now.
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2. Tessek's Head:
Uhm...yeah....so...I don't know
much about Quarren anatomy...but...well...what the heck is that
about? Even if it was movie accurate, they could have spared
us.
We all know that Star Wars alien
names are usually an anagram, pun, or word game. I wonder what
word "tessek" sounds like...
Moving on...
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1. Reek's ""Button:
This has to take the cake for
the most distasteful Hasbro figure. There are two ways you can
activate the Reek's special battle roar: you can pull his horn,
or you can, well...squeeze his special button...yes, that's it,
the bulge between his legs.
As you can see, I don't like to touch it with my bare hands.
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