The man who would be king Fan Club President
Posted by: Bill Cable 05.10.06 12:01am
I'm talking with Dustin Roberts, who's trying to win the Hyperspace Fan Club President contest on StarWars.com. Dustin is currently in second place in the contest, or as I like to call it, he's the first loser. With less than a week left in the contest, Dustin is scraping the bottom of the barrel for publicity, which brings him to CreatureCantina.com.

BC: Now Dustin, I've read many of the posts you've written about why you should be elected Fan Club president. You talk about your service to the collecting community, your involvement in OSWCC, and all sorts of other things. But really, the "presidency" to which you aspire is an honorary title, where you won't have any influence over anything. You won't run the fan club, and won't be able to do anything to help the average collector. You'll just get a free trip to San Diego and your picture in the Insider. So why should people support you and fork over their money to subscribe to Hyperspace/SW Insider so you can win a bunch of prizes? Why you and not, I don't know, some kid with Malaria?

DR: Bill it's safe to say that anyone with Malaria would be just too sick to ride in the bullet proof car waving to all the Star Wars fans in the grand parade that's sure to take place when I win! As for the prizes, I plan to give them away in a special 3 month celebratory wrap party that will span three continents, ten time zones and a whole lot of *free swag for all my supporters! ( *residents of Pennsylvania not included )

BC: You've been, at times, heavy-handed as an administrator in the RebelScum forums. At times you've declared, almost gleefully, that it's Dustin's way or the highway. Do you think being a prick in those instances is coming back to bite you in the ass now?

DR: Bill, You've just been banned from the Rebelscum Forums.

BC: Crap! Looks like I'll need to find someplace else to plug my eBay auctions. You've got endorsements out the wazoo. From TheForce.net (big surprise there) all the way down to the West Yucatan Attacktix Gaming Squad. But in recent weeks we've seen some of the more popular Star Wars collecting sites endorse your opponent. A guy who's pretty much anonymous. It's basically the "Anybody but Dustin" movement. So why do those guys hate you so much?

DR: I have no idea. I've never met any of them.

BC: How does it feel to be hated?

DR: My name's not Bill so I'm not sure really . . .

BC: Being hated makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. Speaking of endorsements... do you think that perhaps you went too far with that? There were dozens of news stories on RebelScum announcing every new endorsement. I read a lot of complaints about that. That it was just too much.

DR: What you didn't hear from was the 23% who thought they're weren't enough endorsement posts!

BC: Is there any organization from which you wouldn't accept an endorsement?

DR: Yes, The University of Southern California (USC)

BC: So, where is your opponent getting all these votes? Is he a millionaire who wants to be in the Insider, buying subscriptions for anybody who asks? He said somewhere around 50 bounties that he had to expand beyond "friends and family."

DR: I have no idea! I mean honestly, how can one person who has no web presence, is not affiliated with any Star Wars fan organizations, and thinks Episode I came out in 1996 be getting this many votes?

BC: He must be scoring well with the ladies. Now, we discussed this contest a lot, but we haven't really talked about Dustin Roberts the person. Are you as big an ass in person as you are on-line?

DR: Yes, but only to you.

BC: If you had to choose a person as your role model as a collector, who would be your second choice after me?

DR: Steve Sansweet for sure. Steve is a kid at heart first and foremost. When team Scum dropped by last summer to help him organize Rancho Obi-Wan, there were several times where we had to take his toys away and remind him we were there to work, not play!

BC: Some of the companies who run the Star Wars industry have lackluster records. Many would count Hasbro among the least capable stewards of the hobby we cherish. Besides churning out utter crap like the Star Wars Choppers, what does Hasbro do worst?

DR: Hasbro has one person who is the end all to making anything Star Wars related fun for anyone trying to help promote their product. Plain and simple, poor fan relations / interaction with fan sites.

BC: LucasFilm decided to release the Original Original Trilogy on DVD this September, after years of denying it would ever happen. Do you swallow their BS that they are just "responding to the will of the fans," by doing a 180, or is this just one more opportunity to soak the fans with another DVD set before they start cranking out Blu-ray disks?

DR: Must . . . buy . . . DVD's . . . .

BC: OK, let's explore a hypothetical situation. Let's say you win this contest, and during your reign George Lucas kicks the bucket. You hire a cadre of lawyer who convince a judge to grant you ownership of the entire Star Wars franchise based on your title of Fan Club President. They're good lawyers. What's the first thing you'll do with the galaxy now that you control all things Star Wars?

DR: I'd get the team together to start on the ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER MEGA STAR WARS DVD SET! Yep that's right, screw this nickel dime BS! We want it all and we want it now am I right?! The set would include every known version of Star Wars ever created! Every known "making of" segment, television show, cartoon, commercial for any and all Star Wars products, interviews from 60 minutes, every spoof, every fan film winner and so much more I can't say at this point. The Sound will be remixed in THX 8.5 ( it's coming ) and oh yeah it will all be in 3-D so there will be some glasses you'll have to buy at Starwarsshop.com for only $29.99, but we'll throw in a cool new exclusive foil Topps card of me for good measure. How much will this 53 DVD box set cost? Only $499.99! If you pre-order today we'll throw in FREE S&H! Woot!

BC: OK, I'm getting tired or writing questions. What one more thing would you like to say to CreatureCantina.com's readers in the hopes of winning this contest?

DR: Hey everyone, too bad I had to delete about 1/2 the questions Bill wanted to ask due to inappropriate sack innuendos and R2-D2 orifice comments! I'm glad Creaturecantina.com is around to remind us that its just a fun hobby we all should enjoy and not take so serious at times. If you're planning to subscribe or renew to Hyperspace, please consider dropping my email address ( dustin@rebelscum.com ) in the referral box! Win or lose I'll still be here next month, posting news and a lot less endorsement notifications! ;-)

BC: And there you have it - an interview of the hopeful future Star Wars Fan Club President Dustin Roberts. Thanks for taking the time to answer our questions, Dustin. Good luck!