Tronzo's "From a certain point of view"
Posted by: Jedi Tronzo 08.10.05 12:01am
I have come back from my long CreatureCantina.com hiatus and have decided to start a new regular column; “From a certain point of view.” FCPOV will look at a wide range of current topics and how it can all relate back to Star Wars and its fans. The expressed views are not necessarily the views of other Creature Cantina staff, but are the views of a simple man trying to make his way through the universe. Everything and everybody is fair game and no topic is too taboo.

For the past 25 years I have loved Star Wars. When I was a kid it was normal, when I was a teen it was weird and now that I’m thirty it’s scary. People call me a dork all of the time. But what now all of a sudden is trendy and fashionable; being labeled a dork, I have learned to embrace years ago. For me it was a badge of honor to be called a dork. Yes I played with Star Wars toys in college, so long as it didn’t tap into my beer money, but I was still getting laid from time to time. Now, I would never take my toys to class and I would never take them to a party. It was a way for me to escape for a little while from time to time. I would read some SW comics, make a toy run or work on a custom figure when I needed to get away from the studying and schoolwork.

I suppose I should give you a little insight, I played lacrosse, was in a fraternity and lived in a sorority house my “Super Senior” year (my fifth year of college for those of you going “Huh!” and didn’t pick up on the joke). So I wasn’t an introvert. My guy friends would make jokes when we were altogether about my Star Wars hobby and the girls would just kinda roll their eyes and giggle while saying “Your such a dork!” Yes I was a dork, but the chicks still hung out with me. I was in no way Mr. Smooth; I was just being myself

See folks I was one of the Star Wars fans who actually left my parents basement (or in some cases the attic) and ventured out into what we call society. And look I am still alive. Don’t get me wrong; I had some good times in my parent’s garage listening to grunge rock while slamming some Mickey’s Big Mouth malt liquor. It’s a nice place to go back and visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there especially in my thirties. I didn’t hide behind a computer and chat with people on IM or forums, hard to believe it, but we didn’t have them then. I had to talk to people face to face, and I even talked to girls. GASP!!! Girls! Yes, girls, I know it sounds scary, but you too can leave your parents basement and talk to girls. Go ahead. For some of you all you need to do is be yourself, for you others, you are better off paying the girl. So for all of you that are sitting in mommy and daddy’s basement right now, chatting on forums worrying if you are ever going to find the new ROTS #50 charred Anakin while eating the super-sized Big Mac and fries that your mom brought you for lunch and looking at internet porn, I say to you this. You’re not a dork, you are a loser. This is why we have introverted fat people in America. Get off of your lazy super-sized ass and go outside and find a girl.

For those of you that thought this was going to be a nice inspirational piece about a kid and his Star Wars, boy were you wrong. For the low, low price of $29.99, you can purchase my new program: “How to be a Star Wars fan and score!” Beside, I need the money, this gig doesn’t pay enough.