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Baldy's Meet
& Greet!
Posted by: Baldy
04.20.05 12:01am
This week on meet and
greet its the Guvnuh of California, the Terminator himself the
Kindergaden Cop of sci-fi fame Arnold Swartzenegger. ( I know
thats misspelled but we at CC.com can't afford Spellcheck ).
Baldy:
So Arnold,
how have you been?
AS: Eye ave been gud mista Baldyman, my job is so grate,
I luv it so so much.
Baldy:
Are you
a collector?
AS: Eye collect munny and tapes of all my old moovees
and sometimes suhpeenas from vemmen hoo zay I grabbed them.
Baldy:
So you
grab women in your spare time?
AS: NO, don't make me smack you girly man! I grab nuthing!
Except the odd donut or sahndwitch.
Baldy:
Do you
like Star Wars at all?
AS: Not reelly becauz Mista Loocuss didnt ahsk me to
be in thee films. I think Harrison Fohd was a bad pick for Hand
Solow. He was not big enuff to be a captan of a ship. That munkee
man Louie or whatevah was kind of neet tho.
Baldy:
Are you
still married?
AS: Yes, I am happily mahreed to Mah Ree Ah and we
luv each another very much.
Baldy:
Thats
good to hear. So is the rumor of another Terminator film true?
AS: Sahdlee no, it wood be nice to do but since nobody
can beat me it makes sense to not do anotha film.
Baldy:
The supposed
script actually read that you would be matched up against Lou
Ferrigno as the bad Terminator and both of you would basically
destroy a few city blocks. That would have been cool to see don't
you think?
AS: That is so fah fetched Baldee..... Lou is a girly
girl from way bahk and he is no match for me. If he dared to
show up for dat film I would go to his house, knock on his door
and hit him in the face with a two by four. Silly, flabby man.
You are no mahtch for Guvnuh Ahnold!!
Baldy:
Wow,
a little anger there huh?
AS: Don't print dat now, it wood look bahd for me.
Baldy:
So no
collecting habits for you..... are you still involved with the
Presidential Get Fit programs?
AS: Yes, I am very involved wid dem and since all the
terrorists are flabby little men, Mistah Bush will find dem and
beat them good. He is very fit and strong. ( Right after this
statement Arnold looked around desperately for a camera to wink
at with a thumbs up sign..... )
Baldy:
Is it
true that Danny DeVito really *IS* your twin?
A: Yes that is troo...... he is my brutha and we are
like two pees in a cabbage pahtch.
Baldy:
I have
no clue what that means but ok......
AS: So you know nuhthing... whaats noo? Noone outside
of Caleefohneeah has a cloo. My state is dee greatest so don't
come back here unless you are pumped up and ready to wuhk owt
for three weeks like I do. Dis intahview is ovuh little Baldee
man. Go away now.
Baldy:
Arnold,
we're not in Cali, we're in Jersey. Are you on crack or what?
AS: No comment little flabmiestah! MAHREEAH! Com help
me wid dis tiny girl girl. I am too ty-uhd to beat him down...... |
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