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Papa’s Got a Brand New
Bag! PART TWO
Posted by: Sandy Rivers
04.13.05 12:01am
Last week I revealed
the hidden whereabouts of the infamous Bag. This bag is amazing,
and I was very surprised at the quantity and variety of old items
left by former Inner Circle initiates. Although not all IC members
have signed the Bag for anonymity purposes, the items I found
certainly point to some very well known collectors.
Take for example these items
which were discovered together: A gallon of Trans Am Polish and
a Bootleg “Star Wise-Guys” Bikerscout from New Jersey
with “Fuggidaboutit Action Feature”.
And what about these two items?
Upon digging a little deeper, I found a 5th grade graduation
trophy with the inscription of “Most Likely to become a
Porn Star”, presented to someone with the initials “SY”.
Shortly after that discovery, I found a “C-3PO’s”
cereal box written in Hebrew.
In the northern quadrant of the
Bag, I discovered a cache of empty LaBatt Blue cans and bottles
Maple Syrup (actually I found several of these). One can only
assume these items came from Canadian IC initiates. Further south,
in the “Breadbasket” area of the bag, I found an “Alien
Mystery Date” board game, which evidently is a little-known
marketing endeavor of the Sigourney Weaver movie. Near the bottom
of the Bag, I unearthed two items that look like they’ve
been in there a while and must’ve certainly been left by
an IC founding member: A half-used supersized jar of Dippity-Do
and a worn copy of “The Cynic’s Dictionary”.
When I reached the absolute bottom
of the Bag, the final item I discovered conclusively proved that
this beach-themed carryon is indeed associated with the Inner
Circle. I apologize for the grainy-ness of the photo, but this
specimen only shows itself once every three years and I had to
act fast!
So there you have it, conclusive
proof that this Bag is an IC treasure.
By the way, if you see this man,
please contact your nearest IC representative where he will be
hunted down and forced to jump over cars in heavy traffic outside
of some Sci-Fi convention.
The question on everyone’s
lips now is, “Who will be next?”
We shall see… we shall see…
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