Interview with Lumpy - A CC.com Exclusive!
Posted by: Durge 07.28.04 12:01am
It's been a while since The Star Wars Holiday Special graced television sets everywhere, but CreatureCantina.com managed to find one of its biggest, rather smallest stars, Lumpy!

Durge - Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to join me for an interview.
LW - It's my pleasure. Fact is my contract states that I have to promote this TV special until I'm 30.

Durge - How old are you now?
LW - 29

Durge - Only one more year then!
LW - Oh Lord.

Durge - Are you still in touch with Mala or Itchy?
LW - I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Itchy died from an overdose incident. His funeral was small and very few people attended. I hear Mala is a pRon star now, though.

Durge - What do you know. That's sad. Remember kids, don't use spice. But back to Mala, have you seen her "work".
LW - Oh yeah. I hear they used it in France on a billboard.

Durge - Wow! She seems to be doing well!
LW - Yep, she's even married.

Durge - Any children?
LW - Yes. I believe their names are Zing Shi and Tai Min.

Durge - So, back on topic, what happened to you after the special?
LW - I stopped acting for a while, until I was asked to audition for a TV show called Alf. I didn't get the part, but it reignited my desire to act. I have since appeared in two commercials and one film.

Durge - Which film?
LW - Gigli.

Durge - I haven't seen that one.
LW - It's a small role, but I'm there.

Durge - Too bad it flopped.
LW - No it didn't. I think you're confusing it with Lord of the Rings.

Durge - Am I?
LW - Yes.

Durge - Okay. So what does the future hold Lumpy?
LW - I plan on seeing "I, Robot" next week.

Durge - I mean something a little further from now.
LW - I plan on seeing "Catwoman" too.

Durge - Nice.
LW - Well, I really have to run. I've got a therapy session in a few.

Durge - It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Lumpy.
LW - I was glad to speak to someone other than my therapist for a change. Oh damn, please don't write that.

Durge - We won't. It's Creature Cantina, remember?
LW - ROOOWR!

Durge - Go **** yourself.