What was George Thinking?
CreatureCantina.com Book Review
Posted by: Jedi Tronzo 04.07.04 12:01am

A few more months and my wife and I will be having our first child, a son. So in anticipation of my first son, who will one day inherit the old man's Star Wars collection, I have started a collection for him. He already has the full line of Playskool Star Wars toys and a few other little items that when he is a toddler he may enjoy. As father and son we will rule the Star Wars collecting community!

One of the numerous categories of Star Wars items that I have started collecting for my son is children books. I have been searching high and low for as many new and vintage children books as I can find. I think it is only right that my son get the opportunity to experience the joys of the vintage books like I did when I was growing up as well as the newer books. Who could forget the great vintage titles like The Maverick Moon, and Wicket goes Fishing.

Lately I have found the greatest source for finding the newer books that have been published since the mid-nineties revival of Star Wars is the dollar stores such as, Family Dollar and Dollar General. I have been able to find several books, coloring books and puzzle books for a buck or less. And yes, I do buy two, one for my son and one for me.

On a recent "hunting" trip to a dollar store, I found one of the most unusual Star Wars books that I have ever seen. The Mos Eisley Cantina - Scratch and Sniff. My first reaction was one of amazement and delight. "Pure genius," I thought to myself. A Star Wars scratch and sniff book. It instantly brought back memories of growing up in the early 80's. When I was in elementary school in 1982, the teachers would give us scratch and sniff stickers when we would do well on homework and tests. They would always give off a great scent like raspberries, bubblegum, peppermint, fresh cut grass, and I even remember ones that smelled like pizza. At the time they were highly sought after items. So you can only imagine how excited I was to find this Star Wars book.

Well, when I got home and read through the book my delight quickly changed to disgust. "What the Hell was George thinking when he agreed to this book!" This book is absolutely repulsive, very funny mind you, but repulsive. In the book, you can explore all of the smells that young Luke Skywalker experienced the fist time he walked into the Cantina and his first trip to Mos Eisley. Here is a breakdown of the smells that you and your child can enjoy together:

• Mos Eisley itself -- It has a really dusty smell, like when you walk into an old person's home.
• Cocktails from the Cantina -- Cocktails that Wuher makes smell really sweet and fruity. I could picture drinking them on a beach with those little umbrellas.
• The electrical scent of Ben's Lightsaber -- A nice clean refreshing smell, almost like lemon Pledge.
• Chewbacca -- In case you ever wondered what Chewbacca smells like, he smells musty. Overall not to offensive, almost like a wet dog.

Here is where the book goes downhill!

• Greedo's breath -- Holy Pig Crap!!! Pig crap is the only thing that I could think of that may smell worse than Greedo's breath. You know what I am talking about, when you drive past a farm on a hot summer day. It made my living room stink and my dog sick. I would actually consider having my dog fart in my face as a reasonable alternative to smelling Greedo's breath again.
• Jabba the Hutt --I thought this would be worse. I was about to smell what a 2-ton slimy slug smells like. Thank the maker, Jabba actually smelled better than Greedo's breath. I never would have thought it, but it's true. Jabba smells like a combination of pepper and pickle juice.
• The exhaust of the Millennium Falcon -- Speaking on driving on a hot summer day, the exhaust smells like a dead skunk. It has that kind of nasty smell that sticks with you all day. Not as bad as Greedo, but pretty bad.

I don't think any true Star Wars fan's collection is complete without this one of a kind book. I still need to ask the question though, "What the Hell was George thinking?"