Baldy Interviews a Bounty Hunter
Posted by: Baldy 02.18.04 12:01am
Howdy Star Wars aficionados! This week CC.com presents a very special one time only, one-on-one exclusive interview with one of THE most elusive bounty hunters in the galaxy! I speak of course of the Trandoshan in Charge, Bossk! For the interview, I will be CC and Bossk ( rather his translator ) will be BT.

CC: Well sir! So very nice of you to let us conduct this interview with you!
BT: Grumble, where's the Tibian Tea you promised me?
CC: Um, its on the way sir.
BT: Damn well better be you louse!
CC: Now now, Mr. Bossk........can I call you Bossk?
BT: Yes you can.
CC: Ok then. So what have you been up to since the OT?
BT: What the hell is an OT?
CC: The Original Trilogy. You know, the movie franchise you were in?
BT: Oh, THAT. I have been terrorizing many a galaxy and raking in the credits. Many systems have me on ban lists but I don't care. I am above those clowns anyways.
CC: What got you banned from those systems? Gun running? Contraband? High death counts?
BT: Well, to be honest, most of those bans are because I haven't paid any child support or alimony for ages. Stupid court systems! BAH!
CC: I had no idea you were such a ladies man.
BT: Of course you didn't! A true ladies man needs not tell everyone of his exploits.

At this time the translator giggles a bit and Bossk shoots him a terrible glare.

BT: Tea dammit! Where's my tea?
CC: Let me go check for you sir........
BT: Be quick about it meat sack!

After a quick trip to get some used coffee grounds, I return with the "tea" heh.

BT: Ah! Now THIS is good Tibian! Keep it coming!
CC: So Bossk, since you are still in the line of Bounty Hunting, what challenges are you facing lately?
BT: Well, it's always a pain to track down those damn Wookies as they are so spread across the galaxy. They are like your Earth cockroaches. You nail one here and two more pop up! I swear they breed like Rancors! Dirty creatures....
CC: So besides trying to keep them under control, what else is difficult?
BT: Not much really. Once caught, most Wookies will turn docile and even tempered. That is, when I give them my "special" cage pal. HA HA HA
CC: Cage pal? What's that?
BT: I learned way back that any Wookie worth his salt will settle down nicely when presented with a blow-up doll resembling that idiot Han Solo. For some reason they cuddle up to him like a Mynock on a power coupling. Its kinda creepy but man does it work great!
CC: Sorry I asked... anyways, I am sure that people want to know what the future holds for you. Any neat plans for the future?
BT: I got a call from Hasbro to pose for the newer Unleashed line they are doing. I had to come here to Earth and pose under nice warm lights for hours. I loved it. You humans are so pathetic with your fans and air conditioners. You have no idea of real comfort like we have back home. Give me a steamy jungle, loads of sun and never-ending prey! HA HA HA!
CC: It's good to see someone so happy with their line of work.
BT: I really enjoy being a hunter. I can cut loose and get away with murder, literally! Where else can you kill and injure people, detain them, smack'em around and not catch flack for it? By the way, my tea is getting low human.
CC: So? There's more right over there.
BT: You DARE tell ME to get my own drink?
CC: I'm kinda tiring of your attitude Bossk, you are a bit abrasive.
BT: You want to see abrasive? No problem....

At this point in the interview, Bossk pulls out his fabled Mortar Gun and lets loose on the studio. I narrowly escaped but unfortunately his translator did not. Poor little 3PO unit didn't have a chance. As I crawl out from under the rubble, I see Bossk getting in his ship and blasting off for parts unknown. Good thing too, I was about to slap him.

Until next time, we at CC.com hope you enjoyed our interview!

Your in the field reporter,
Baldylox