Radio Control Hailfire Droid: Reviewed!

by Beedo Sookcool
on 2010-08-26, 22:57:27

As Darth Danno so astutely pointed out not long ago, how the Hell are we supposed to be able to afford to attend conventions when just about every single toy company puts out half a year’s worth of product in the space of the same damn month, usually August? And if you collect multiple lines (like I do), that can get expensive. And don’t even get me started on the subject of convention exclusives, because I’ll rant and foam at the mouth for hours and end up having to be tranq’ed to stop me going on a killing spree. So, as two ginormous crates recently arrived for me from Big Bad Toy Store, bearing a shedload of stuff in lieu of having a proper vacation this year, I figured I should show some love for a sweet product that has been overshadowed on pretty much all the other internet media sites by the new Super-Deluxe AT-AT and sneak-peeks of products that won’t be showing up for months: the Radio Control Hailfire Droid. Overall, I think this could be one of the most fun Star Wars toys yet made, and I’ll tell you why, starting with what you get in the box . . . .

The Box and Its Contents: 1 instruction sheet, 1 Hailfire Droid, 1 radio control box, 1 Clone Trooper figure with rifle, 22 missiles. Yes! You actually get four spare missiles, just in case you lose some. Now that’s pretty dang thoughtful! The Clone Trooper is one of the new-fangled animated-style figures, a plain old white jobby in the box I got, though the package shows an Anti-Hailfire Trooper. Not being too fond of the animated style, I will probably pass this guy on to the son of a former co-worker of mine, who appreciates the animated toys more. The box itself looks swell, and the toys are fastened in with a nice new system of locking plates and papery twine. Much less time trying to get stuff out of the box, your fingers don’t smart afterward, and it’s more biodegradable and/or recyclable than those rassafrackin’ twist-ties. A Win-Win-Win situation there, I think. Well done, Hasbro!

Looks: As you would expect with such a complex toy, they’ve had to manipulate the proportions a bit to make the thing work. More or less in scale with the 3.75”-scale figures, the wheels’ engine housings are oversized and the central control pod and laser cannon are a touch too big, which makes the hoop-wheels seem undersized (even though they’re the same height as — but beefier than — the regular Hailfires’ wheels), and the two 9-missile pods seem lacking. (See image below for comparison between the three Hailfires.) But, if this were an actual war machine, I still wouldn’t like to run across it in the streets, whether it’s in perfect proportion or not. It’s got a slick new Clone Wars-inspired paint job in light grey and navy blue, with blaze-orange missiles. That’s one thing you have to give big business: when they set out to oppress every Tom, Dick, and Barada across the galaxy, they do it in style. What’s more, it looks approximately forty bazillion times cooler than just about every other radio-controlled Star Wars vehicle, specifically the starships with whacking great propellers sticking out of them. As for the original radio-controlled Jawa Sandcrawler, this new Hailfire Droid is only about eight times as cool-looking.

Power Requirements: This is where the toy falls down. The radio control box needs 3 AAA batteries, and each wheel of the droid takes 3 AAs. You might want to look into rechargeable batteries and multi-cell recharge stations if you’re going to make frequent use of this puppy. And you will want to make frequent use of this puppy, if you buy one.

Set-Up: You will need the aforementioned amount of batteries, and a small Phillips screwdriver for removing and replacing the battery compartment covers. There are no stickers to apply, so no time wasted there. Push nine missiles into each of the launchers. Sometimes, the missiles will not lock into place, and you need to run through the whole firing cycle before they’ll all load properly. The laser cannon on the underside is pointed off to one side to allow access to the on/off switch. The box shows the cannon as pointing straight ahead. When I tried to move the cannon, it didn’t want to budge, even though it looked like it was meant to. But eventually, after applying a bit of force, the cannon loosened with a loud crack and was then movable. (I cannot guarantee, however, that if you try the same thing, the loud crack that ensues will not be terminal.) Once the cannon was mobile, I switched on the control box and the droid. The little red LED on the control box lit up, and the red LED that takes the place of the Hailfire’s cyclopean photoreceptor lit up menacingly. This is very good, because a few of the R/C toys I’ve had over the years (mostly small-scale Daleks) did not have such indicators to let you know you hadn’t switched the things off. And with nine batteries to drain, the Hailfire’s indicators are as vital as they are cool.

Handling: I’ve not had many radio controlled toys throughout my life. All the ones I acquired were in the last nine years. All but one of those others have been some form of Dalek, which aren’t exactly known for their blinding speed and nimble manoeuvrability. So I was taken aback by how fast this Hailfire Droid is. While it’s in nowhere near the same league as radio-controlled racing cars, stunt cars, monster trucks or the like, it’s got a turn of speed that leaves well-known battery-operated vehicles from the 1980s (such as the G.I. Joe MOBAT tank or the Masters of the Universe Attak Trak) choking in the Geonosian dust. I would say, comparing with footage from Attack of the Clones, they’ve got its scale speed just about right. The controller appropriately uses “tank steering,” with one lever controlling each wheel. As such, the Hailfire Droid has a much smaller turning radius than most R/C cars, and it can stop and spin on a sixpence (or a dime, depending on which side of the Atlantic you’re on). With time, I’m sure I could get the hang of steering this thing, but on the initial test run, I was oversteering, spinning it like a top, running over shoes and slippers, and all but ramming into furniture at top speed. Also, I don’t know about anyone else’s, but my own personal Hailfire has a tendency to drift to he right. It’s a very frenetic mover and will take some practice, but the Hailfire promises to be a fun R/C product, not least because of its impressive arsenal . . . .

Fire!: Eighteen loaded missiles ready to fire. That’s right. Eighteen. While that’s only slightly more than half the payload of the original straight-up toy version of the Hailfire, I still can’t think of any other R/C toy off the top of my head that has such a large number of firing projectiles. And when you realise that only sixteen of the original Hailfire’s missiles actually fired, this R/C version actually has the original beat. When you hold down the firing button on the control box, the missiles launch — not singly or all at once, but in barrages of three in rapid succession. Best of all, the Hailfire can shoot whilst moving. It sometimes takes a while for the firing cycle to kick in, but once the missiles start flying, the droid lives up to its name. And if you put the droid into a spin whilst holding down the firing button, you can perform a tamer version of that “Death Blossom” trick from The Last Starfighter. The missiles initially come out of the launch tubes with apparently surprising force, judging by the resounding thuds when a cardboard shipping crate is fired upon at close range. Which is also probably why the instruction sheet recommends you point the droid away from you whilst loading the launchers. But after the initial fury of the onslaught, the hefty missiles lose momentum rapidly and only end up flying six to eight feet (which, in action figure terms, is 108 -144 scale feet).

Caution!: As you would expect, there are a lot of warnings in the Hailfire’s instruction sheet. Handy tips about batteries, loading the missiles, and not shooting at people or animals are the most useful. But also, this toy is for indoors only, and is not to be taken out onto the road or put through damp conditions. Well, there goes my idea for scaring off the herring gulls around here with a charge and a well-aimed salvo. I would imagine that large amounts of pet hair, dirt, drool, excreta, crumbs, or sand lying around would also clog the wheelworks. So this toy is not recommended for households with very young children or nervous, aggressive, or territorial pets. I’m not exactly sure how rugged this toy is, but I wouldn’t recommend seeing if it can take a flight of stairs à la Dukes of Hazzard, and I’m personally taking it fairly easy until I learn to control it better.

Why It’s The Most Funnest: As sweet as the big-ticket Star Wars toys are, there is one thing holding them back: size. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I was massively impressed with the feature-packed Naboo Royal Starship. I was so thrilled about the BMF, AT-TE, Juggernaut (or Turbo Tank as the young whippersnappers call it), and Super-Deluxe AT-AT that I actually squealed with delight like a schoolgirl each time one of them was revealed. But look at ’em. Even as a six-foot-one gorilla, I would find it tiring to “fly” the massive BMF around at arm’s length on adventures, so kids must have a Hell of a time with it. And while the AT-TE and Juggernaut have wheels for ease of movement, a kid would need at least two friends helping move the legs on the AT-AT while he or she worked the electronics and suchlike. So while they have tons of features, they don’t have many that can be used concurrently. But this R/C Hailfire Droid: it’s self-propelled, it will literally roll over enemy forces with a merciless gleam in its eye, and it shoots more missiles than any other Star Wars toy I can think of. It does just about everything the Hailfires in the movie do, except think for itself. And it will do all that at the same time without having to pause. It ain’t the biggest, most impressive, or feature-packed toy, but it’s certainly fast and furious fun.

Overall: Although it’s not the fastest R/C toy on the market, it’s definitely fast and nimble enough for “urban warfare” amongst the furniture, and should be fun for Star Wars fans of most ages. More expensive than a Starfighter-scale vehicle but still cheaper than any of “The Big Boys,” I’d say it’s just about value for money . . . but only just. Another tenner on the price would probably have put it out of the realms of reasonable expenditure for me. The Hailfire would look darn good as part of a boxed or loose collection, an R/C collection, a tank collection, a Separatist collection, or a completist’s collection. It would make an excellent toy for (responsible) children, dormitory occupants who spend too much time out of their skulls, fellow sci-fi geeks, or bored execs who are fed up with their rack of suspended chrome Newtonian motion balls or miniature guillotines and want an executive toy that says: “I support big businesses being armed with robot tanks for really hostile takeovers!” However, if you’re not going to get much use out of it, or could use the money more productively, then you can safely pass on this item. I’ll just close by saying that ordered one of these on a whim, and I’m very, very glad I did.