I now pronounce you...

by Darth Danno
on 2013-04-24, 09:11:17

So George Lucas is getting married this summer, right here in Chicago! Makes you wonder what that wedding will be like?

• How many SW celebrities will be in attendance?
• Will the event be real, or mostly CGI?
• Will they film the event in high def, or 3D? (Oh wait, the 3D idea got scrubbed when Disney took over, my bad.)
• Are they planning on renewing their vows many years down the road in a “Special Edition”
• Has Palpatine given his blessing?
• Has...the mouse given his?
• Instead of dividing the church up between the bride's and groom's side, they could instead go:
  Jedi and Sith, Light and Dark, Republic and Separatist, or Prequel and Classic Trilogies.
• Will George get the same guy to officiate that married Anakin and Padme?
• Will an Imperial honor guard from the 501st be on hand?
• Will G.L. get married in a tux, or Stormtrooper armor, X-Wing flightsuit, Tusken Raider garb, Jedi cloak, Sith robes, mouse ears, etc...
• Instead of champagne, serve blue milk?
• Will Dexter's diner cater the event?
• Will Wuhrer bartend?
• Will they allow droids?
• What will the policy on weapons be? (No blasters, no blasters!)
• Who's providing the music, Max Rebo, Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes, or the Ewoks? Or just go all out and have John Williams do it.
• Where will they honeymoon? A Galaxy far, far away, Skywalker Ranch, Rancho Obi-Wan, or really sell out and spend a week at...Disney.
• Does everyone who lost their jobs at Lucasfilm get invites as part of their severance package?
• Will the bride and groom take a limo to and from the proceedings, or travel via landspeeder, Bantha, Boga, etc...
• Did Lucas actually propose, or use his Force powers to obtain a “yes”?
• Will SW figures adorn the top of the wedding cake, or at least his and hers “Build-A-Droid”s?
• I could compare the wedding night to the Death Star trench run, but…we’ll leave that one alone.
• And the most important question of all...Why do the invites for the CC.com staff keep getting lost in the mail???