AF&TB October Spectre-tacular: Bewitching Brew

by Beedo Sookcool
on 2012-10-26, 08:10:17

First off, apologies for this week’s late posting, but my father just got out of the hospital after having one of his arteries scoured. (He's back to barking orders and being snarky, so he's feeling much better, now.) On top of eight ten-hour shifts in a row, I haven’t had enough time for a decent amount of sleep, let alone posting anything. But I hope to make up for it this weekend, with a couple of projects culminating in a humdinger of an AF&TB Hallowe’en Month finale. But before we get to that, we continue AF&TB’s October Spectre-tacular with a pleasant beer, and a not-so-pleasant, pale-as-a-ghost witch.

PENDLE WITCHES BREW

Moorhouse’s Brewery of Burnley, Lancashire, has been around since 1865. And I’ve only just this month found out about them and their brews in time for Hallowe’en. Apart from the founding date, address, and phone number, there’s not a Hell of a lot of other info on this bottle’s labels. Normally these days, you get a story behind how the beer got its name, what plant cultivars were mixed together to make its unique taste /smell, and so on and so forth. With this beer, you get the fact that it’s 5.1% ABV, and that you’re drinking “a light golden beer, soft, crisp, and bitter-sweet flavours.” And that’s about it.

Well, if it’s witches brew (is there supposed to be an apostrophe in there somewhere?), I’m honestly running out of witches in my collection, so I’ll have to team up this particular beer with the Horde’s creepy enchantress, Shadow Weaver. Because I remember her mixing potions at some point. I think. It’s been a long time since the late-mid-1980s, so my memory might be playing tricks on me. All I remember is that she sounded like a female Cobra Commander, looked like a giant floating Jawa lingerie model, and was buggier than bat guano. But I’m glad she was included in my 2012 Masters of the Universe Classics subscription, because you can’t call it an Evil Horde if you’ve only got a handful of characters in it, and two of those are the same guy in different armour.

Anyway, this is a perfectly serviceable beer. It’s got a tinge of bitterness on the tongue while you’re drinking it, but it fades after a few seconds to a mild, tangy aftertaste. In fact, everything about this beer is mild: smell, taste, aftertaste, sudsiness. This is definitely not a bad thing, especially if you’ve just had a bad day at work (or rather, a not-so-bad day at work, then bashed your skull on an open locker door as you were getting ready to go home). Apart from the name and picture on the label, there’s nothing particularly Hallowe’eny about this brew. It’s just a pleasant, comforting, relaxing, satisfying drink for unwinding with. If this beer were clothing, it would be a soft, thick, terry-cloth robe with a cozy hood on it. It’s like the beer equivalent of cocoa. Except not hot or in anyway chocolatey and with alcohol in it. Pendle Witches Brew is nothing extreme or outstanding, just . . . ni-i-i-i-i-ice.

Drink this if you also like: Any other crisp, mellow ale.