"Happy" Star Wars Day...

by Bill Cable
on 2012-05-04, 10:16:16

Today is a day I dread. May the Fourth. "Star Wars Day." I find the concept repulsive. I oppose it at a moral level. It offends my sensibilities.

And it's not that I have anything against Star Wars... obviously. I mean... what 11 years no running a Star Wars comedy site? Huge collection. President of PSWCS. You'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger Star Wars fan.

I hate the day because IT'S STUPID. First of all, there is only one Star Wars Day and that day is May 25th. The actual anniversary of Star Wars. That's the day that should be celebrated. That's the day that Amazon and Gentle Giant and a dozen other web sites should have big sales. That's the day that matters.

May the 4th means NOTHING. It's become "Star Wars Day" because it sounds like someone with a lisp is quoting Ben Kenobi. It's been dubbed "Star Wars Day" because of a pun. And that just doesn't sit right with me.

Nothing against puns! In fact, I love a pun. Nothing amuses me more than the kind of pun that you hear and it feels like a punch in the nose. I love an awful, cringe-worthy pun. A pun that leaves a bad taste in your mouth... like you just licked dirt. One that you think about a day later and say "Man, that was bad."

May the Fourth is not a bad pun. May the Fourth is a LAME pun. And I cannot abide a lame pun.

So today I'm forced to suffer through a thousand instances of a tepid, watered-down, irritating pun. Welcome to my hell. It's like bamboo shoots under my fingernails having Star Wars sullied by such.

But I've obviously been outvoted on this matter. And hey - I get to see The Avengers today. So there are good things. Perhaps I'm also a bit upset by what's happened on Facebook since my C7YB Rage Comic run has ended...

Granted the current story arc isn't my strongest... but off a cliff like that? I may need to go back to Rage Comics every other arc just to get the hits!

Well... I hope you enjoy your "Star Wars Day." I won't. Today is my Avengers Day.