Action Figures & Their Beers: Lookit the chrome on that!

by Beedo Sookcool
on 2012-04-24, 15:23:35

Wa tetu dat uta, gang! This week's entry is a day late because of new computer hiccups. After giving in to peer pressure (and the fact that many sites like YouTube and Toy Palace wouldn't work with my old machinery and software), we got a brand-new computer and software and some of that broadband stuff plumbed in, and it took me a while to get things sorted out. To be honest, I have no idea what I did right to get everything sorted out, but I'm back online (somehow), and ready to continue with the alcohol-fuelled posting. Enjoy!

CARLING CHROME

For many of our generation, the first fully “chrome” action figure many of us remember was the vintage Death Star Droid. Well, I never had one of those myself, so many years ago, I reproduced the effect by taking some nail polish remover to a POTF2 Death Star Droid to take off the shiny blackberry-juice wash, and now I’ve got a shiny chrome Death Star Droid, as seen in the Jawa Sandcrawler. (No amount of arguing and official Lucasfilm-approved bumf on the matter can convince me that droid is a dull gold.) Anywho, the Arakyd RA-7 series (or “Death Star Droids,” as they were later nicknamed) were specifically designed to be dull and boring to mask their insidious secret spy programming by making everyone ignore them. Which makes the DSD a perfect figurehead for Carling Chrome.

Tediously repeated several times on the labels all over the bottle and the cardboard 4-pack tote as “Precision brewed for a refreshingly refined taste,” Carling Chrome is indeed crisp and refreshing when served up ice-cold, with very little aftertaste. Sometimes, though, you get a slight metallic tang a few minutes after you’ve swallowed some of this beer, which is somewhat disconcerting. It’s a 4.8% ABV brew, so about on par with most beers available on the British market. Apart from these data, there is not a lot to make it stand out. It’s urine-coloured and lightly fizzy, like just about every other lager in the world. It tastes like you would expect beer or lager to taste. It’s completely middle-of-the-road in every aspect; in other words, it’s boring. And the Carling label masks its insidious connection to the Molson-Coors conglomerate, which is listed in very small print on the back label.

Carling Chrome is, without doubt, a crisp and refreshing drink. But so are ice-water, root beer, and lemonade. It may be very good for making beer biscuits with, but there are loads more ales and lagers out there which are better. Having said that, I wouldn’t turn it down if it were available for free at an open bar or party. I just wouldn’t make it a regular part of my drinking regime.

Drink this if you also like: Any other crisp, refreshing beverage.