Action figures and their beers!
submitted by:Beedo Sookcool 01.28.09 at 12:01am
Drink up, me hearties!
While downing a Cobra-brand lager with a curry I was eating recently, I thought: "Wouldn't it be funny if this showed up in the forthcoming G.I. Joe movie as the refreshment of choice in the Terror Drome's mess hall? Then the sheer number of different micro-brewed and imported beers available here in England (and having a few of them inside me, as well) got me to thinking: Y'know, for a site called "Creature Cantina," there isn't enough attention paid to the alcoholic beverage angle outside Bill's weekly strip. So in an effort to mix drinking and action figures (which, let me point out, is not a good idea while customising), I present an experimental feature:

C'mon, if you're a beer fan just about anywhere in the world, you should've tried Guinness Stout by now. This year – 2009 – this Irish legend celebrates is 250th birthday. Huzzah! Sir Alec himself took his stage name from a billboard saying "Guinness is good for you!" Hence the Ben Kenobi action figure. This lava-lamp of beers is properly poured by taking it a bit at a time to let it settle so as not to allow a huge head of bitter foam to clog the top of the glass. And, in the words of Irish comedic genius and fellow Star Wars fan, Dara O'Briain, "if they draw a shamrock on the top, you're allowed to stab them in the eye with a fork." Alternatively, you can buy the screw-top bottle version, and pour it slowly down the sides of your glass. You won't get the cool "cascade" effect, but you won't have to wait half an hour for your beer to get drinkable, either.

Drink this if you also like: Any other stout, or pretending you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to get hammered. (What are you, an amateur? Who needs an excuse?) Pretentious Beer Snots (a modern offshoot of Pretentious Wine Snots) may wax rhapsodic about Guinness' "burnt malt, dark chocolate, and mahogany undertones." These over-analytical killjoys need to get laid more often. is not affiliated with Lucasfilm Ltd. or any of its licensees... damn them to hell. Can't they see a golden opportunity when they see it? Buy us, you fools! You already own our souls and all our money... buy US!!! This site uses Google Analytics. It does not collect or share any additional user data.
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