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Be Warned - for mature readers only!
Posted by: Bill Cable 09.20.06 12:01am
Well, I'm ready with the second part of my Dragon*con write-up. But before I post the link I gotta post a warning. This half of the write-up includes nudity, adult situations, and extreme profanity. It pushes our PG-13 rating to the extreme!
So if you're exceptionally young or impressionable, you'll want to skip this story. If you're easily offended, don't click. And if this kind of stuff invalidates our Terms of Service with any of our sponsors, don't go tattling.
You've been warned. If you're still game...
Click here to read the second half of Bill Cable's Dragon*con Adventure!!
Order 95 does what must be done!
Posted by: Tresob Yr 09.20.06 12:01am
Feast your eyes on the future, action figure photo-comic fans!
Starting next week, Creature Cantina becomes the galactic headquarters for the biggest event in Internet fan-site history: Order 95.
Featuring prolific artists such Dan Curto and Scott Corrales of The Custom Alliance, ST-321 of Yodasnews.com, and Beedo Sookcool of Beedo Sookcool's Cool Sci-Fi Page, this is a photo-comic spanning the Internet and beyond.
Be part of future! E-mail Tresob Yr to join Order 95!
The best laid plans
Posted by: Bill Cable 09.27.06 12:01am
Know your enemy! Know their strengths, weaknesses, and tactics! Know more than Greedo knows in this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
The next available AFA batch
Posted by: Bill Cable 09.27.06 12:01am
Monday afternoon my buddy Chris received our third batch of AFA-graded ESB figures. They did pretty well... 2 85s, 4 80s, 3 75s and a 70. Lotta good characters too, including an offerless Fett! And before they pop up on eBay on Sunday, we decided to post them for sale directly. So he posted a FS list on Rebelscum, which you can view here:
http://threads.rebelscum.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=2167640
Of course he had to go and drop the prices just a day after posting them... the big wimp. I explained to him that you post high prices and wait for buyers to negotiate lower ones. I also explained that RebelScum forum is a tiny, TINY market for Vintage AFA stuff, and not to sell these way below what they'd get on eBay just to sell them. But does he listen to me? NOOOOOooooooo...
Anyway, they're there. And even though CreatureCantina.com is a far, FAR tinier market for Vintage AFA stuff than RebelScum forum, I'd be remiss not to plug them. Go ahead and ignore my years of bashing AFA and splurge on every one of them.
Sith-mania!!!!
Posted by: Darth Danno 09.27.06 12:01am
All right, fight fans. Forget extreme fighting, pass on professional wrestling. It's mortal combat at its hottest! Just in time for Halloween. Direct from the Coruscant sports arena, in the beautiful Imperial City, we bring you...SITH-MANIA!!!!! You see, since he turned to the dark side last year, Darth Sidious has put Darth Vader through some rigorous training in various forms of combat, lightsaber and hand to hand. He has also been working with him to hone his dark side force powers, and now it's time to put that all to the test. The Emperor has assembled a rogues gallery of some of the baddest baddies ever to come into being to go up against the dark lord himself. But wait, it gets better! First these evil entities will have to square off against each other to prove themselves worthy of a final showdown between themselves and Lord Vader.
Who has Palpatine assembled, you ask? Well hold on to your seats because he's gotten: Freddy Krueger from "A Nightmare on Elm Street". Jason Voorhees from "Friday the 13th". Leatherface from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Chucky and Tiffany from the "Child's Play" films. Blade, Tunneler, Pinhead, Six Shooter, Jester, Torch, and Leech Woman from "The Puppet Master" movies. Norman Bates from "Psycho". Jigsaw from "Saw". Pumpkinhead from...well, "Pumpkinhead". the Tall Man from "Phantasm". Santanico Pandemonium from "From Dusk Till Dawn". Michael Myers from "Halloween". Pinhead from "Hellraiser". An Alien from "Alien". And a Predator from...you get the idea.
So every week from now until October 25th, I'll be bringing you a blow by horrible blow description as these gruesome gladiators are pitted against each other in a human demolition derby to the death! Then, on Nov 1st, the winner will face off against ol' raspy himself...Darth Vader!!!! Who will be crowned "official" Sith Apprentice? I know after hearing this news, you're all just quivering with excitement and anticipation. It's an all you can bleed buffet and we've got the first course all lined up and ready to be served! So without further jibber-jabber we bring you...Alien vs. Predator!
ALIEN vs.. PREDATOR - All right folks, get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on because the bell has rung and these two combatants are eager to get their first victory under their belts, which should be quite interesting considering the Alien isn't wearing a belt, or even pants for that matter. The alien has just charged the Predator and the Predator has impaled the Alien in the chest with his spear. The Predator is now lifting the Alien over his head and waving him around like some giant flag. The Alien is not pleased and is kicking and clawing and screaming for all his worth. Acid blood is going everywhere. The Predator doesn't seem to care as victory is imminent.
He prepares to launch the Alien off the spear and out of the ring...but wait! The Alien has just wrapped his tail around the Predator's neck! The Predator flings the Alien, spear and all, off into the scattering crowd. OOOOH!!! The Alien's tail managed to take the Predator's head with it as he took flight. The Alien crashes into some vacated seats...AND CAME DOWN RIGHT ON THE SPEAR!!! Man, that's gotta hurt! The spear is now completely through his body and boy, is he pissed! But considering the Predator's head is now somewhere behind the concession stand. The Alien is the winner! Wait...what's that beeping? It's coming...from...the...spear? Oh oh...everybody take cover!!!... BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
WINNER: A draw, neither fighter survived.
Next week: Freddy vs. Santanico, Michael vs. Norman, Pumpkinhead vs. the Tall Man, The Puppets vs. Child's Play, Jason vs. Leatherface, and Jigsaw vs. Pinhead.
New fuzzy wuzzy Cable Original art!
Posted by: Bill Cable 09.27.06 12:01am
Drawing hair is difficult with pen & ink. With pencil it's simple... but in a binary medium where you have no gradients, you gotta kind of fake them with fancy techniques. And an untrained amateur like me... I've never been taught the fancy techniques.
I had this all in mind when a buddy commissioned a Bantha. That stupid thing is all hair. So there was no where for me to hide. But did I refuse the challenge? Do the right thing and admit my shortcomings? No... not when there's money to be made!!
Despite my lack of fur prowess, I'm pretty happy with how this one turned out. My method of overlapping squiggles is actually pretty convincing! Check it out!
Execute Order 95
Posted by: Tresob Yr 09.27.06 12:01am
Finally, the mystery of Order 95 is about to be revealed...
But before you enjoy our first inaugural submission, I want to take a moment to tell you what we're really trying to do with this project. Scott Corrales, Dan Curto, Beedo Sookcool, and ST-321, and myself started a correspondence a few weeks ago about creating an Internet-wide collaborative, cross-over comic. Essentially, we saw a need for an open-narrative story arc that could spill onto the Webpages of any Star Wars fan artist with imagination. Sure it sounds sentimental, but we feel this is what fandom is all about: connecting fans from all backgrounds through a common discourse. You need only follow a few reasonable guidelines, and we will include your comic's page in a link list that will appear right here on the Cantina. But you can read all that legalese later. For now, enjoy the beginning...of the end.
Click here to view the first episode of Order 95!
Order 95 Guidelines
And the Order 95 fun isn't over yet.
What should an Order 95 comic look like? Well, CC.com's very own Beedo Sookcool has already posted his first set of Order 95 comics at his Cool Sci-Fi Page, providing an excellent model. Check out all five of his Order 95 comics here:
http://www.geocities.com/beedosookcool/Order95index.html
Physiological limitations
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.04.06 12:01am
So I was sitting here Monday night wracking my brain trying to think of something funny to do for this weeks strip. Failing, as usual. Unhappy with any of the reader ideas submitted lately (no offense... I'm just too lazy to do most of them). The first viable idea that popped into my head led to this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
The best eBay auctions EVER!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.04.06 12:01am
Chris posted our next-to-last batch of AFA-graded figures up on eBay on Sunday (as I told you he would last week). There's some really amazing pieces to be had here! An offerless, clear-bubble AFA75 Boba Fett... totally sweet. An offerless, clear-bubble AFA75 IG-88... also sweet. An unpunched, clear bubble AFA80 Cloud Car Pilot - extremely difficult to find with a crystal clear bubble! And those are just the tip of the iceberg! Check out these auctions! Bid high! Make me a happy, happy man!
Sith Mania - Round 2
Posted by: Darth Danno 10.04.06 12:01am
All right fans. We've got a lot of action taking place this week as these frightening fighters ferociously face foe after foe, clawing their way to become the official Sith apprentice. But first they'll have to get past the current apprentice...Darth Vader! So let's jump right into the action!!!! Now this week is definitely separating the wheat from the chaff as a lot of these fights were somewhat...short. So forgive me if I just list the highlights for some.
Click here to read the Sith Mania - Round 2!!
CreatureCantina is your Order 95 HQ!
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.04.06 12:01am
Clones versus stormtroopers? Clones versus Lukes?
Whatever their opinions may be about the prequel trilogy, the photo comic artists this week certainly have shown their preference for prequel figures!
Go to the Order 95 HQ page and check out the HQ this week's updates by ST-321 and Yodascorch!
Also, don't miss our own contribution:
And it's never to late to become part of the Order. Simply post your Order 95 comic somewhere on the Internet, and send a link to tresob.yr@gmail.com. If you've followed our very basic directions, a link to your comic will soon appear on the Order 95 HQ page!
CreatureCantina.com - The E-mail!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.04.06 12:01am
So you're one of the guys who comes here every week. I know you, like all our dedicated readers, simply cannot get enough of CreatureCantina.com. Gems of wisdom and humor from our staff only once a week simply isn't enough! So we're ready to give it to you 24/7.
We've created a YahooGroups E-mail list for all of our CreatureCantina.com Regulars. And you can join!
You can visit the groups site at: http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/CreatureCantina/
It's your direct connection to the staff of CreatureCantina.com. Send us your ideas and feedback. Share your own stories, and hear more of our own. If you think we're funny with our premeditated, expertly-edited weekly stories, just wait until you see how funny we are off the cuff!
To join, you can either visit the group site and request membership, or send an E-mail to CreatureCantina-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
It's simple, and the rules are simple:
- No abusive language
- No extreme profanity
- Links to anything "Not Safe for Work" must be labeled as such
- If it's your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
Your mailbox will be chock-full of CreatureCantina.com-related E-mail before you know it. And you'll be laughing every second of every minute of every day. Seriously... you'll be wetting yourself at work, garnering funny looks while you bust out at the trendy sandwich shop with WiFi... all that stuff. So sign up now and join the CreatureCantina.com Regulars!
Like a bad penny
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.11.06 12:01am
OK, I admit... I got lazy on this week's comic. I didn't draw one Sunday because I was caught up in football. And Monday evening I had a splitting headache. By the time it cleared up, I was really pressed for time. So I decided to recycle some of the art, after a decent idea occurred to me. I hope you'll still enjoy this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
Friend or Foe: Order 95
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.11.06 12:01am
With Order 95 well under way, we're seeing an awful lot of inner turmoil among Imperial forces (props to Nibcrom Central for taking a more satirical approach to marketing departments rather than wanton violence).
I suppose it makes sense that genocide, like charity, would begin in the home. But one has to wonder just what do the Rebel Alliances thinks of the big O:95...
One week, a dozen suckers!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.11.06 12:01am
The "Creature Cantina Regulars" YahooGroups group is developing nicely! Only 7 days in, and we already have 13 sucker... er... members! And only four of us are on the staff. That's nine truly dedicated CC.com fans who jumped in and joined the fun.
And it's already been fun! Insults have been flung. AFA has been criticized. Stories have been shared. And you could be a part of it!
To join, you can either visit the group site and request membership, or send an E-mail to CreatureCantina-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
It's simple, and the rules are simple:
- No abusive language
- No extreme profanity
- Links to anything "Not Safe for Work" must be labeled as such
There have already been a few questions like "Is something supposed to actually happen here?" and "Why did I sign up for this thing in the first place?" And to that I gotta respond to be patient. It's going to take a few weeks, maybe even months, to develop a community here. So join and post anything you find funny. And good things will come of it.
Sith Mania - Round 3
Posted by: Darth Danno 10.11.06 12:01am
Here we are again folks, back for round 3 and have we got some exciting match ups in store for today. The tension is high and there's slaughter in the air. So let's go right to the action!
PUMPKINHEAD vs. TIFFANY This is a true David and Goliath match up and if Tiffany can pull this out, could be one of the greatest upsets in the history of Sith Mania.
Click here to read the Sith Mania - Round 3!!
Order 95: Week Two
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.11.06 12:01am
NibCrom Central jumps to the lead as an Order 95 Commando, featuring a dazzling FIVE PAGE comic following the Order 95 plotline at http://www.nibcrom.com/index.html. Running a close second is Yodascorch http://pic7.piczo.com/YODASCORCH/, who adds two more comics this week, and Sarge's Customs http://www.sarges-customs.com/index.htm makes its charge into the fray!
And make sure to stop by the home page of the newest Order 95 Spy: Mistabinks at Archival Star Wars! http://www.archivalstarwars.com
Check out that swanky O:95 button sitting in his affiliates list.
And you can download your favorite Order 95 buttons, banners, and graphics at the Order 95 Media Page http://www.archivalstarwars.com. Host a link to Order 95 and we'll list you as a Spy on the Order 95 HQ page, too!
And be sure to bookmark Order 95 HQ to keep track of all the latest additions to the Order 95 saga.
You probably won't find this funny
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.18.06 12:01am
So I had a special request this week. This necessitated a little research into the biography of a new character. Unless you're also very familiar with this character, you won't have any idea what this strip is about. But if you're an avid fan of Republic Commando, you may just love this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
POTF2 strikes back!
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.18.06 12:01am
In a desperate bid to preserve his own display value, POTF Death Star Gunner attempts to stop a squad of clone troopers from releasing a MOSC Saga Death Star Gunner. He might be able to outwit the troopers...but what about their leader?
Sith Mania - Round 4
Posted by: Darth Danno 10.18.06 12:01am
Here we go fright fans! It's getting down to the wire and the only thing standing between Freddy, Jason, and Pumpkinhead facing off against Lord Vader is...well, Freddy, Jason, or Pumpkinhead! Two must go down for one to go on to fight the ultimate battle to become "Official" Sith Apprentice! This week, one fighter will rest and two will rumble. Lots were drawn, dies were cast, and heads were rolled before it was decided the match this week would be...
Click here to read the Sith Mania - Round 4!!
Order 95 sallies forth!
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.18.06 12:01am
Check out a furious five updates from Yodascorch and read up to page seven on NibCrom Central! Also, ST-321 moves his comic out of the Internet ghetto and on up to the prestigious ranks of an official Yodasnews.com update!
In Yodascorch's comic, Han, Chewie, and Lando engage in a morality play, Luke and Ben seek a way to thwart the Empire's devious Order, and some unopened POTF2 figures contemplate their destiny. Poor little fellas...trapped in plastic coffins for ten years. It could drive a figure mad.
Meanwhile, NibCrom Central takes us back behind Imperial lines as Commander Cody receives his fateful orders.
And stayed tuned for a brand new trailer from Beedo and Tresob, coming soon!
Keep checking Order 95 HQ for the latest updates to the Order 95 saga.
Inspiring new Cable Original!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.18.06 12:01am
My art is intended to impress. Hell... why would people shell out $65 for a drawing if they didn't think it was quality? But this is probably the first time my art has been truly inspirational. You see, I shipped off my drawing to Buffalo, NY last week. Around the same time, a freak ice storm hit Buffalo. So when my art arrived at its destination, its new owner had been without power for 4 days, and had been spending the majority of those days bailing water out of his basement. So he was extremely thankful to receive it, commenting "that picture was a great little pick up for us."
How cool is that? I actually made somebody feel better in the wake of personal distress. That's a rare thing, and pretty damned rewarding.
So wanna see the source of all this joy and pride? Presenting the AT-AT Driver:
Cheap comic
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.25.06 12:01am
OK... I cheated. I had this big art project drop in my lap over the weekend, but I gotta finish it by Friday. So I've been spending every waking moment on it, including the time I should have been working on this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
Ghosting
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.25.06 12:01am
With Halloween just around the corner, I thought I'd take a peek at what the Jedi Spirits have been up to...and, let me tell you, it turned out to be scarier than I ever imagined...
CC.com gives and gives and gives some more...
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.25.06 12:01am
So the dorks from the Kentucky Star Wars Collectors Club hit us up for a donation to their "Fall Festival." I guess that's the new name for "We want free stuff so we invented some random event... now give us something." As usual, we were happy to oblige. I got five notepads full of comic strip art just collecting dust in my drawer here, so I just tore one out and mailed it off. Those cheesy collecting clubs are suckers for this stuff.
They had their "Fall Festival," had a raffle for the prizes, and the big winner of the comic art was...
John Belushi as "Jake" from The Blues Brothers!!!
Oops... my mistake. That's actually Michael Thomas. Congrats Michael!
Hold on... is that Sandy Rivers in the background??!! Our long-lost buddy Sandy?
Nah... can't be. Sandy's a Texas redneck, not a Kentucky redneck.
Your Order95 update
Posted by: Tresob Yr 10.25.06 12:01am
This week, Yodascorch makes O95 history as the first contributor obsessive enough to generate over ten pages of comics and reach Commander status! We also discovered that Master Samos's Star Wars Site has been hosting the Order 95 poster for who knows how long, putting it in the Spy squad. The latest Flash animation from Beedo and me should be done any day now, barring real life intrusions. We think you'll like it even more than the first one. And I'm still getting e-mails from plenty of new contributors who are putting finishing touches on their photo-comic masterpieces!
Remember, it's never too late to create a comic, put it on the Web, and join Order 95! Do what must be done!
Check out the latest comics Order 95 HQ here at the Order 95 HQ Page!
Sith Mania - FINALE!
Posted by: Darth Danno 10.25.06 12:01am
THIS IS IT!!! Sith Mania is ending one week early and what a final match we have in store for you! Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith is going against not one, but 2 opponents in the hopes of retaining his Sith apprenticeship. Can he hold on, or will we have a new threat in the galaxy? And if Freddy or Jason win, will the Emperor be able to control them, or is even his supremacy in danger? Let's not waste another minute and get right to the action!
VADER vs. FREDDY vs. JASON
Click here to read the Sith Mania Finale!!
Cable Original Saesee Tiin!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10.25.06 12:01am
I'm in the zone baby! I'm in the zone! I'm cranking out masterpieces left and right. And my customers are the beneficiaries.
This week's entry is Jedi Master Saesee Tiin. I've long had a picture of Tiin as... well... old. Ornery. Stodgy. Gruff. Kind of proud and rigid. I don't know why I have that picture of him in my head. I guess since he really didn't do much in the prequels, you kind of fill in the blanks.
But that picture is what I wanted to bring out in my picture. And I think I did a pretty good job of it.
Oh for the love of... it's not done yet??!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 11.01.06 12:01am
Man... it's after 12AM and I'm still working on this junk? I need a beer. You need this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!
Order 95... a family affair
Posted by: Tresob Yr 11.01.06 12:01am
This week marks the Order 95 debut of the Varela Family. Featuring all forms of POTF2 brutalization from trampling to decapitation, and from asphyxiation to to powerhouse Wrestlemania movies, these folks show absolutely no mercy for the POTF2 figures.
And remember, kids, the family that plays together, stays together.
Check out the fun on the Order 95 HQ page.
Also, be sure to download our self-promoting and narcissistic Flash banner on our media page: http://swaft.info/order95/95media.html.
Next week... IT BEGINS
Posted by: Darth Danno 11.01.06 12:01am
Next week will mark the beginning of quite possibly the greatest and most exciting project I have ever undertaken. Right here at CreatureCantina.com will be the debut of an original Star Wars story, written by yours truly! Now this is set to be a serious piece that actually took place in the Star Wars timeline. It will run in sections, 1 a week, and the whole thing will take @ 6 months to complete. Some of the characters you know well, others came from my own imagination. All things Star Wars remain the property of Lucasfilm and are used without permission. This is meant solely to entertain and is not meant to be copied, sold, or anything that will incur the wrath of George and/or his attorneys. Thanks to Bill Cable and CC.com for allowing me to present this to you. So be sure to be here next week and every week for a whole lotta weeks after for "The Greatest Sith...That Never Lived".
New beginnings
Posted by: Tresob Yr 11.01.06 12:01am
Hey, remember The Cantina CCG? Probably not...so we figured this would be a great opportunity to jog your memory.
We've got some new cards to play with...and what better way to start a new round of cards than to create fancy new "initiative modifiers?" Yep, if you draw Garindan and R5-D4 when determining the first player for the round, you'll activate some handy bonuses that will really suck the moisture out of your opponent's vaporator! And I'm not just talking bocci!
Garindan, that sneaky longsnoot, forces your opponent to reveal their cards during barfight set-up. Meanwhile, R5-D4's bad motivator will keep your opponent's Jawas distracted so you can swipe their drinks!
Zuckuss to be you
Posted by: Tresob Yr 11.01.06 12:01am
So the Greatest Hits 2007 Showdown polls seem to be quite the provocative conversation piece over at Rebelscum.
Personally, I'm having a really hard time understanding the logic behind your voting habits. It seems like half of the figures winning the polls are just variations on the same three troop builder figures that we know we're going to see again soon. But then there's Zuckuss...the POTF2 bounty hunter whose dress showed a little too much leg...Nevertheless, that little cockroach seems to be defying the odds...
One for the money, two for the... money
Posted by: Bill Cable 11.01.06 12:01am
OK guys... this is the grand finale. Remember all those ESB MOC figures me and my buddy Chris picked up to liquidate all those many, many months ago? We're finally down to the last batch. And we've finally broken even. So this batch here... PURE PROFIT!!! But man... we're way behind our initial projections. I could make more money working one weekend of overtime than it's looking like I'm going to make here, and that'd be about 1/10th the hours I've sunk into this project. That is... unless this last batch does really well. So why don't you do YOUR PART to make sure this batch does well. Do it for your favorite Star Wars comedian... that guy who dedicates hundreds of hours into entertaining you for no charge and no reward. Wouldn't it be nice to do something special for him... like bid on one of his auctions for once?
It's not like I'm asking you to bid on crap or anything! this is good stuff! 6 AFA 80s. 2 75s. And a 70. Lots of clear bubbles and unpunched specimens. They'd be perfect for your collection! At least click on them before you decide...
Please PLEASE click on some of those auctions! PLEEEEEEASE!!!!
PS: Hey "tazman"... you're not gonna let that punk "angel111comics" outbid you on that ERG now, are you? I think he's laughing at you... calling you a wimp...
A little Halloween nightmare...
Posted by: Tresob Yr 11.01.06 12:01am
Before Darth Danno reached celebrity status as the most prolific propounder of prose on CC.com, he had his start as a volunteer script writer for The Cantina comic. Indeed, D.D. submitted so many script concepts, that Bill wouldn't have had to come up with another original idea for about four months. In order to make sure other readers got a fair chance to have their submissions see the light of day, Bill sent a goodly number of the concepts to me to see what I could do with them. Thus, I took several of the scripts, and used them as the foundational properties for one of those fancy arthouse-style Flash animations. This all took place many moons ago, but we were unable to release the cartoon to the public because it was still missing something crucial...a legally reproducible soundtrack. And thus Bill Cable, being the creative network hub that he is, put me in contact with the electronica-jammin', houseblend stylin' musical artist known as Stratos (whose psychedelic, geek-culture grooves are available for download on iTunes http://tinyurl.com/uf7j9).
So without further ado...I present, La Reverie de Daniel...
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