Six degrees of Star Wars: It all comes back Posted by: Jedi Tronzo 02.01.06 12:01am I am sure that all of you are aware of the game "Six Degrees of Bacon." If not then you need to get out of your parents' basement. "Six Degrees of Bacon," is a game that the player must connect any given actor or actress to Kevin Bacon in six steps or less. Well I am challenging all readers to submit to me any given actor or actress and I'll find a way to connect it to Star Wars in six steps or less.
For example we'll use Kevin Bacon and Star Wars:
Kevin Bacon was in Hollowman with Elizabeth Shue
Elizabeth Shue was in Cocktail with Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise was in Top Gun with Val Kilmer
Val Kilmer was in Willow with Warwick Davis
Warwick Davis played Wicket W. Warick the Ewok in Return of the Jedi. And yes for all of you worthless, smart-assed basement dwellers; Warrick Davis played Wald in The Phantom Menace.
Lets try another. This time, let's make it a little more challenging. Molly Ringwald.
Molly Ringwald was in Breakfast Club with Emilio Estevez
Emilio Estevez was in Young Guns with Terence Stamp
Terence Stamp played Chancellor Valorum in The Phantom Menace. OK, one more time. Instead of using the recently deceased Chris Penn, we'll use his worthless liberal, tree-hugging brother.
Sean Penn was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High with Judge Reinhold
Judge Reinhold was in Beverly Hills Cop with Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy was in Trading Places with Dan Aykroyd
Dan Aykroyd was in Blues Brothers with Carrie Fisher
Yep, Princess Leia!!!
So, you're probably wondering what you win if you stump me. Well, nothing. I tried to break into Bill Cable's house last week when I was in town on business, but that was thwarted because his oldest daughter was just happening to stay home sick along with the rest of his family. They were guarding the entrance into the C-3PO collection room like vultures defending fresh road kill on the interstate. If you stump me, you get bragging rights that can be used to bad mouth me to all of your internet friends. You can be the King of the Dorks! E-mail your challenges to jeditronzo@creaturecantina.com.
Lacking content and creativity... Posted by: Bill Cable 02.01.06 12:01am Hello loyal readers. Today I am not in a good mood. I'm undergoing some physical therapy on my shoulder after a dislocation last year, and when I was trying to demonstrate just how much better I was feeling by stretching I managed to reaggravate the injury. I've been sore all day. That puts me in a bitter mood that even the impending Steeler SuperBowl has problems lifting. I'm sure I'll be feeling no pain Sunday afternoon, but Tuesday evening I'm hurting.
It looks like this will be another week of few CC.com stories. I think I burned my staff out pumping them up for Cable Original #100. So that leaves me to come up with something. Rather than spewing the venom I'm wallowing in right now, I figured I'd just pilfer some funny links I've seen in the various forums I frequent and pass them off as my own discoveries.
First off... my wife loved this one. But it'll ruin your enjoyment of Duel of the Fates for the rest of your life... http://cornonthekabob.ytmnd.com/
Next... this one actually IS my discovery. Well, actually, the person who did it contacted ME. She praised the site, and asked if we wanted to lampoon her little Flash animation. I could tell you it's truly awful, but I'll allow you to come to that conclusion yourself. Thanks to Donna Ellis for the contribution! http://users.zoominternet.net/~donnaellis/...dancevideo.html
I'm gonna do a big story Wednesday, mostly because I'm still at a loss for words. I'm also reduced to typing 1-handed after receiving a high-5 on the same arm as my bad shoulder. Know how I said I'd be feeling no pain? WRONGO! But getting the chance to walk down Brookline Boulevard with my 4-year-old daughter, in the snow, among the throngs of revellers, waving our Terrible Towels and cheering at the tops of our lungs... makes it all worth it. :-)
Getting out of hand? Posted by: Bill Cable 02.08.06 12:01am OK, so I've been looking more like a cheerleader than a Star Wars humorist the past few weeks. I'll admit it. I have no shame. It's in my blood, and you simply can't go against that. But something says that I should be careful I don't go too far. Otherwise we might end up with this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
You could own Sansweet!! Posted by: Bill Cable 02.08.06 12:01am Steve Sansweet has one of the largest Star Wars collections on the planet. Want to own his collection? Then OWN HIM!! Because if you own Sansweet, then everything he has is yours, right?
How do you go about buying Sansweet? You bid on him! Check it out:
And look, the proceeds go to charity and everything! It's the perfect plan!
And if you don't want the associated upkeep of owning Sansweet (I hear he's a picky eater and a high-maintenance groomer), you could always go for the swanky Droid sketch!
The BIG One Posted by: Tresob Yr 02.08.06 12:01am Bill Cable wasn't the only guy excited about Sunday night....
We had a feeling... Posted by: Bill Cable 02.08.06 12:01am It now two days after the SuperBowl as I write this, and I'm still walking in a daze. Well, maybe that's just the pain meds for my shoulder. Actually, it's feeling pretty good today. I went to therapy and got it taped up, and now it feels much better. It almost moves around like it's supposed to!
But I didn't come here to talk about my shoulder (sympathy gifts are welcome. VINTAGE sympathy gifts). I came her to talk about the Steelers! And their glorious victory! But if you're part of the 99.5% of the world populace that doesn't bleed black & gold, you're probably already sick to death of the Steelers. Hell, you've probably already skipped to the next article. SUCKER - that one's about the Steelers, too!!! For the sake of you non-hypocycloids, I'll be brief. Cuz, I mean, you already know I'm happy. You already know how much. You already know why. If you've ever been a fan of anything ever in your entire life, you know it's glorious.
So let me just say that I thoroughly enjoyed the game. It was everything I ever hoped it would be. I love this team, and this Superbowl victory was like the ultimate reciprocation of that love. (I'd write that in a much less gay way if I wasn't so close to deadline) Now I'm getting to do so many things I've dreamed about for so long. I subscribed to Sports Illustrated to get their Steelers Championship Package. I watched the victory parade. I bought the locker room T-shirt. And every step has been a joy. To think... just two years ago I was getting this guy's autograph:
And now he's the SuperBowl MVP! Man, ain't life fantastic?
The conniest con of all cons!! Posted by: Bill Cable 02.08.06 12:01am Wanna go to a con man's con? A really conny con? A con that's connier all other cons? The con that dwarfs the bi-mon-sci-fi-con? Then you should go to All-Con! A con better be as conny as they come if you're gonna name it All-Con!
All-Con is almost upon us! It's going to be held March 17-19 in Dallas, Texas. At least I think it's Dallas. The web site shows a hotel in Dallas. I don't know if the convention is in the hotel or in some convention center or what. Of course they couldn't make it easy and include a street address or something on the front page, or on the registration forms, or anyplace LOGICAL.
I gotta say, be careful if you decide to visit All-Con.org. That entire site is a clusterf***. After I recovered from the seizure I experienced by glimpsing all the stupid flashing graphics on the front page, I was pretty much too dazed to navigate the thing. There's all these thumbnails on the front that AREN'T CLICKABLE!! They're like "Here's a teenie-tiny photo of HawkGirl... BUT YOU CAN'T CLICK ON IT!!! NO CLICKY on the HawkChicky!!" Freakin' moronic!
If you click randomly you'll eventually stumble across the fact that they're gonna have some celebrities... some STAR WARS celebrities! They're gonna have the actress who played Barriss Offee and the actor who played Captain Typho. Nalini Krishan is a total hottie, and Jay Laga'aia was... a Star Wars actor, so they alone will make it worth the price of admission. If you can figure out where the hell the thing's being held...
So yeah, go to All-Con. Just don't visit their site beforehand.
You're not finished yet! Posted by: Bill Cable 02.15.06 12:01am Quite a beefy update this week, huh? Gotta love it when the staff sobers up for a few hours! But you still have one more thing to suffer through... this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
The Star Wars movie everybody has been talking about! Posted by: Tresob Yr 02.15.06 12:01am Though George Lucas was thrilled with the success of Revenge of the Sith, he has expressed disappointment in its lack of critical acclaim. "I wanted a movie that would impress more than just fans who would pay to watch a film of me blowing my nose," Lucas said. "I wanted to make a movie that would get the attention of the academy...a movie that would get nominated for best picture. I failed...but now I have a script that what will finally get me the recognition I deserve..."
Question Mark...'s Intelligence Posted by: Bill Cable 02.15.06 12:01am A couple weeks ago on RebelScum, the subject of yours truly came up in their Q&A column Question Mark. Some goofball named "Tresob Yr" submitted a few off-the-wall queries, and Mark responded. Among Tresob's contributions:
10
I know you work hard answering questions from all of us toy collectors, and I have the utmost respect for your commitment and patience. It must take a lot of time to dig up answers for us, so I thought I would give you a break, propose some less research-intensive interrogatives...and maybe let you have some fun while you were at it. Enjoy!
3) Who would win in a bar fight: Philip Wise or Bill Cable?
Tresob Yr
Now, first of all... thank you Tresob for throwing me under the bus like that. As if other web sites don't have enough reason to bash me. Why don't you send them some of those photos of me with my special 12" goldenrod while you're at it??!!
OK, anyway... question submitted. The answer is obvious, right? I mean... really. There's only one logical conclusion. So the answer shouldn't surprise anybody. But here's what Mark had to say...
Are you kiddin’ me, Bill Cable SUCKS; PW’d take him in no time.
Phil Wise??! Take ME???!! OK, now first of all... even if I was in the mood to pick a fight with a 70-year-old man, I don't think I could because I wouldn't be able to find a governing body that would sanction such a bout. And if the fight ain't sanctioned, it ain't happening. I ain't going to jail for manslaughter.
But let's say some regional boxing commission does sanction the fight. Let's just look at raw statistics. I have a 40-year age advantage. I met Phil a few times, so I know I have the height advantage. I have the reach advantage. I'm faster. I dare say I'm in better shape. Even with the bad shoulder I'd mop the floor with Phil Wise!
There are only two things Phil could do to win. He could pay me off (just like he buys out every other web site that competes with him). Or, he could send in one of his hired goons on his staff... maybe his favorite bruiser Dustin. But in a fair fight... there'd be no doubt on the outcome. Mark - yet again your answers were dead wrong!!
Unrequited Love Posted by: Tresob Yr 02.15.06 12:01am With all the romance in the air, a little redheaded girl catches R2-D2's optical sensor...
Grudge match! Posted by: Steve "Solo" Rensi 02.15.06 12:01am I was flipping through the channels yesterday and I came across E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial and I came to 2 startling conclusions. 1) You truly are a heartless Republican when you start rooting for the government in ET. and 2) ETs are technically part of the Star Wars universe.
I mean they are part of the Senate in Episode 1. So somewhere within the Star Wars universe is the ET planet. And if you ever rode the ET Ride at Universal Studios, you would know Felucia looks suspiciously the ET home world. So as I started to think about this I realized that if ET did exist in the Star Wars universe, the following is highly possible to have occurred.
Imagine the possibilities.
Decked out in swanky new acrylic! Posted by: Bill Cable 02.15.06 12:01am Last year I completed my set of Vintage second-series Star Wars figures. That's the 8 figures that were released after the 12-backs. For a long time they were chillin' in Star Cases, since I'd spent all my money on the actual figures. Well, a few bucks from Christmas later, I was able to spring for the good stuff... Oscar's Acrylic Cases!!
I ended up getting two dozen cases... a little bit of forward thinking there. I hope to complete a set of the first-series figures over the course of the next two years, so it'll be nice having the cases on hand for each new score. Now it's just a matter of making the scores... which has been a pain lately with the poor selection on eBay of late. So for now, I'll just have to bask in the glow of what I already have.
AFA in hot water with...AFA? Posted by: Big_E 02.15.06 12:01am Reminiscent of the World Wrestling Federation's long running battle with the World Wildlife Foundation over the WWF acronym and web address, today the Action Figure Authority found itself at odds with the American Family Association.
AFA graded action figures have been huge hits with the various collecting communities, especially those that buy on the auction site eBay. Although the AFA grading service has little in common with the American Family Association, a religious organization, their paths crossed over a recent eBay auction for an AFA graded "God Almighty" action figure.
The actual selling of the figure is not what raised the hackles of the American Family Association...
The art of one-upmanship Posted by: Bill Cable 02.22.06 12:01am Granted, it's difficult to attach the term "art" with any aspect of my weekly comics. But these guys here... they're competitors. You already know who will come out last, but who's gonna be the victor? Find out in this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
In the House... Posted by: Tresob Yr 02.22.06 12:01am With no medical droids allowed on the premises and Dr. Evazan still recovering from his encounter with that old British guy, cantina patrons have few options in the event of an emergency...
Top Ten Toy Fair Posted by: Big_E 02.22.06 12:01am Well, last week was the annual Toy Fair in New York city. Our illustrious (task-master) editor wanted us to write a story on it but, since the stingy beyotch didn't actually send us there, he didn't get one.
He still hasn't. But what he, and you, get today are two (count 'em!) top 10 lists; The best and worst of Toy Fair 2006 as seen in other site's photos.
Top 10 Best Item Shown at Toy Fair '06
Gentle Giant animated Star Wars maquettes
Sideshow Collectibles 1:1 Darth Maul bust
Gentle Giant animated Clone Wars Bust Ups
Lego Sail Barge
Hasbro Artoo-Potatoo
Kotobukiya Commander Bly
Hasbro Vintage The Saga Collection Luke, Greedo, Han and Scout Trooper
Is that...is that a POTJ Cantina Han Solo...again!?
Gentle Giant convention exclusive: Mara Jade
Hasbro VTSC Tusken Raider
Hasbro "Treasure Hunt" figures
Hasbro Customs (Choppers)
CreatureCantina.com staff updates... itself! Posted by: Bill Cable 02.22.06 12:01am I've been sort of in a daze all week. Who knew raising two kids could be so exhausting?? So I'm not having a lot of success with coming up with an article to write this week.
So instead of laughing with is, this week I'll give you the chance to laugh AT us! Last week Steve mentioned that the staff page was a bit out-of-date. In particular, Tresob wasn't even on there, and he's our most prolific contributor!
So some of the guys updated their staff page entry. And we begrudgingly added Tresob. But best of all, we added something REALLY cool - a link to an entire archive of each staff member's contributions! So you can read every article I ever wrote. Or every article Tronzo ever wrote. Or, if you're a glutton for punishment, everything Steve ever wrote!
The comic Posted by: Bill Cable 03.01.06 12:01am It's minutes from my deadline, so no time to be creative. Here's this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
Machine-Man Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.01.06 12:01am Anakin Skywalker's life seemed to go nowhere but downhill once he became the Sith Lord known as Darth Vader...until one bright spark of hope entered his so-called life, only to have it snuffed out before his eyes. Men, steel yourselves before you gaze upon the tragedy. Ladies, keep your tissues handy.
Shameless plug Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.01.06 12:01am Well, I figure it can't hurt to throw a shameless plug in there, right? But I didn't want to be cheap and make it the only comic I did, so there's another one below.
And when you are done, come back and use one of Creature Cantina's Sideshow Collectibles Affiliate links to buy something really expensive!
3PO auction IMMORTALIZED! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.01.06 12:01am A few months ago I ran a now infamous auction on eBay to sell a broken Vintage action figure. To my surprise, the auction is still active up there, and it still keeps getting hits. Check it out! For some reason it's getting an inordinate amount of hits from eBay Canada. I guess not all of those derogatory things said about Canada are true!
As much as I'm still enjoying the ride, that auction will be pulled off eBay eventually. And that'd mean a whole lot of work lost forever. Thankfully, I was smart enough to save a copy. Not smart enough to do it within the three months it was still guaranteed to be up, but smart enough to realize my luck would soon run out.
So Here's the archived auction, for all perpetuity, to be loved and enjoyed until the end of time!
Another Beedo Original Posted by: Bill Cable 03.08.06 12:01am OK... so I didn't feel like writing another comic strip. I didn't feel like drawing it, either... but that's not something people E-mail into me. They do E-mail me with ideas, like the one for this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
Hosed by Hyperspace! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.08.06 12:01am I renewed my membership to the Star Wars Fan Club/Hyperspace a few months ago. I know... it's really not worth the money... but every once in a while there's something good that comes of it. Maybe there'll be a deal for Celebration IV next year or something.
Anyway, on Tuesday I received an envelope - my Hyperspace Membership Kit. I skimmed through it, and my first impression was "What a load of crap!" Man... and that wasn't the half of it! Check it out... my Hyperspace membership kit:
Nice stuff. A LEGO poster. A spiny, hangy thing. A completely squished Mon Cal Merc Mini:
And I mean COMPLETELY squished. I guess that's what happens when you mail a 3-D figure in a flat envelope. Ridiculous. But not quite as ridiculous as this...
That's a 2005 Fan Club membership card. And a 2005 Fan Club sticker. An EXPIRED coupon for $50 off Code3 stuff. An EXPIRED offer for some free address labels. And an EXPIRED offer to download some ROTS soundtrack songs.
I received this YESTERDAY! March 2006!!! Oh yeah, I got one more thing...
That's a Code3 iron-on patch. Thankfully, it hasn't yet expired.
Now... it's one thing to screw the fans by charging them $40 a year for access to a web site and a magazine that continues to decline in quality. It's quite another to reward their renewal with a membership pack that was garbage 6 months ago!! I mean COME ON! EXPIRED COUPONS??!!! Talk about a bush-league organization. I should just send it back, since it's obviously worthless to me.
Budget-Priced Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.08.06 12:01am Emperor Palpatine's motivations have always been suspect at best. Sure, he's a Sith Lord who wants revenge on the Jedi in order to settle some ancient grudge match...but was it really necessary to erect a whole Galactic Empire and conquer countless worlds to accomplish his goals?
It turns out that Palpatine is a serious action figure collector who has arranged the interplanetary war as an excuse to acquire planets in possession of rare Star Wars collectibles...
New Cable Art!! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.08.06 12:01am It's been a while since I've posted anything new in the Cable Gallery. And it'll be at least a couple weeks before I add another Cable Original. But that doesn't mean I can't reward our faithful readers with something new.
One of the reasons I'm kinda slow with the latest Cable Originals is because I've been designing T-shirts! Yeah, there's nothing cooler than having your art splattered across the backs of dozens of Star Wars geeks! I was thrilled to win the 2006 PSWCS T-shirt design contest. It was a funny idea that just barely won (not everybody appreciates self-deprecating humor I guess). But once it did win, I went all out on the art. I added the drawings to the "Cable Original" Gallery. Check them out:
I combined those art elements to create a very cool design:
Tell me that ain't the sh*t! It's a damn shame you gotta be a PSWCS member to buy one.
Another shirt I worked on recently was for members of the 501st Legion. They did an event in NYC last year, and the entire day it poured down rain. To commemorate their misery, one of the guys from Garrison Carida asked me to design a shirt. That one was just a lot of fun. Here's the final product:
The shirt they used was a bolder shade of blue, but you get the idea. It's an awesome shirt... all the still-pruney troopers listed on the back. We're talking the height of fashion, baby!
So there's a little nibble for you guys. I'm expecting some new "Cable Originals" in a couple weeks.
A comic to tide you over... Posted by: Bill Cable 03.15.06 12:45am Your full weekly CC.com update is coming. But it's been too long a day and I'm too stinking tired to sit hear and write anything funny right now. I'll post it when I roll out of bed in the morning. In the mean time, you can enjoy this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
Mindgames Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.15.06 11:00am At first, C-3PO was a little scared to undergo a mindwipe. Fortunately, his little buddy R2-D2 was there to offer moral support...
Willrow Hood - We're half-way there!!! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.15.06 11:00am The Toy Fare #105 Fan Choice list was published earlier this week, and it looks like we've succeeded in the first phase. Our beloved Willrow Hood made the top 25!! We've never been closer to getting this guy cast in plastic!
While other people have been engaged in shameless self promotion I've been striving for the greater good of collectors, trying to get a true and deserving fan favorite figure produced. The first part was easy. Willrow is easily popular enough to make a list of the top 25, especially with so many popular web sites behind him. The next stage of of the voting process will be much more challenging, because every Willrow Hood fan out there will need to work hard to convince run-of-the-mill collectors of his merits. We need to get our talking points out there... to make sure the masses don't just throw votes away on cool characters who would be poor choices.
Take for example one of Willrow's most competitive challenger - Quinlan Vos. Vos is a cool character. Rich backstory. Interesting. With rugged good looks. He'd make an excellent Fan Choice. Except... Hasbro knows Vos is a very popular EU character. They know he'd sell well. Hell, they're probably sitting back hoping he wins this poll because he's money in the bank. And that's the reason why you shouldn't throw your vote away on Vos. Quinlan Vos WILL get produced eventually. There's no doubt. No chance it won't come to pass. Hell... he's even been on some 2006 rumor lists already. He's gonna get made. So why waste your vote on a character that will get made anyway?
It'd be much smarter to cast your vote for a character that would never otherwise seen the inside of an injection mold. A character loved by the masses. A distinct character. One who cherishes his frozen dairy products. A character like WILLROW HOOD!!!!
So get out there. Spread the word to your cohorts. Let them know why Willrow should be the man! We can do it, my friends. And when we finally hold that beautiful, case-fresh package in our hand and gaze at the character we, the FANS, have made possible... it will be the sweetest victory. As sweet as double-chunk chocolate with cookie dough.
The continuing adventures of Maj. Bren Derlin Posted by: Bill Cable 03.22.06 12:01am What sort of impression will Bren Derlin make on the Cantina regulars? Find out how he starts out in this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
Old News Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.22.06 12:01am Most people come to the Cantina to escape there problems...thus, it should come as no surprise that its patrons are sometimes a little behind on political news.
Brand new Cable Original art!!! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.22.06 12:01am WTF is this thing doing third in this week's update?? Cable Original art ALWAYS gets top billing! I must be slipping...
I know it's been a while since I've posted some art. But there's a real good reason why it's taken 2 months for me to get to Cable Original #101. It's because it took that long for it to be delivered to its new owner. Cable Original #101 is Barriss Offee. It's new owner is Nalini Krishan, the actress who played Barriss Offee! She received the art at last weekend's All-Con Convention
I'll be getting photos from All-Con shortly. Until then, check out the latest Cable Original drawing:
While we're on the subject of Voting... Posted by: Bill Cable 03.22.06 12:01am I've been reading the forums, and I've seen that some of you people are failing to VOTE FOR WILLROW HOOD! You think you have good reasons for doing it, but you're mistaken.
For example... some people are voting for Quinlan Vos. Why? He's cool. But as we've already established, Quinlan Vos will be made by Hasbro eventually! So a vote for Vos is a wasted vote. Don't be stupid and waste your vote!!!
Other people, primarily Vintage collectors, are voting for the six-breasted dancer Yarna. Yarna was almost made by Kenner back in the day, but then they realized kids wouldn't buy her figure; they'd run screaming from that freak. It was a GOOD DECISION! Votes for Yarna are votes wasted n a character that simply has no chance! Don't be stupid and waste your vote!!!
Be smart! Vote for a cool Original Trilogy character that actually has a chance of winning. With Willrow Hood's cult following, he's the dark horse in this race. He could win it all if just a few extra people get in his corner! Don't waste your votes on figures that'll see plastic in a year's time anyway, or figures that don't have a prayer. Even if Willrow is only 3rd on your list... better him than a super-articulated Darth Maul. We gotta pull together behind a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. VOTE WILLROW!
Big-E for President Posted by: Big_E 03.22.06 12:01am After careful consideration, and hearing about the cool swag, I, Eric Franks, have decided to run for the post of Star Wars Fan club President.
I've also made this decision after hearing about the opposition in this race, Dustin Roberts of RebelScum.com. I believe that I am a better candidate than Mr. Roberts, a Fan's Candidate if you will, whereas Mr. Roberts is backed by a "big money" web site and may be out for pure financial gain.
My grassroots campaign will accept no money from big business and will rely solely on the kindness and generosity of those of you who acknowledge the benefits of Fan Club membership, warts and all.
When making your choice for Fan Club president I would point to several reasons why Dustin Roberts is not the best choice. His running mate, R2-D2, is the most obvious.
It's long been known that Dustin's running mate is an alcoholic and a womanizer.
Better than Gore-Tex! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.29.06 12:01am Major Bren Derlin continues to meet new and interesting folks in the Cantina. What happen when he runs into another one of the regulars? Find out in this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
SirStevesGONE.com Posted by: Bill Cable 03.29.06 12:01am Man, am I in a writing mood tonight or what? Even though I've already done a ton of stuff, there are some things you just can't help mentioning. Last week Steve Comenzo announced that he's leaving the site he created. Some might call it Karma. Some might say "You reap what you sow." We're not ones to rub salt in someone's wounds, so... Oh, who am I kidding? We're precisely ones to rub salt in someone's wounds! It's what we do best!! HA!!
So anyway, SirSteve is no more. Steve has even jumped ship from Star Wars action figures, moving on now to cover "boy's toys." Oh wait... I see he edited that part of his post. Now it says his new site will cover "everything Action Figures and Collectibles." When he first wrote it he called them "boy's toys." That was a lot funnier. Meh...
SirSteve went out of his way to come up with a creative name for the new site he's working on. In mid-April, he'll launch his new site: StevesGuide.com! I guess BoysToys.com was taken... (I wouldn't advise going there... but I'm too scared to check it myself and make sure).
In the end, I don't think I could have written a more fitting end to SirSteve's saga: Forced out of the site he created by the people he sold out to. Abandoning Star Wars for his real passion - boytoys... er... I mean "boy's toys." And being too dumb to come up with a really cool domain name... such as ComenZone.com.
Playing Politics Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.29.06 12:01am Rather than introduce this week's comic, I would just like to mention to certain parties...be they staff members or otherwise...that I do not currently have a Hyperspace account. That's right, I am not an official member of the Star Wars fan club, nor have I ever subscribed to the Star Wars Insider. Why, you may ask, would such a longtime fan of Star Wars and prolific member of the action figure comic strip community not want to be a part of the official fan club? Because it's fifty bucks! Now, if anyone, say, wanted to give me a subscription to the Star Wars fan club as a gift before May 15, 2006...I would most certainly be very "grateful" to that person when I was filling out the subscription information. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.
Willrow behind in the polls! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.29.06 12:01am Right now RebelScum is running an "exit poll" on the Toyfare Fan Club vote, and it's not looking great for Willrow. Check it out:
Willrow stands in 3rd place with 8% of the vote. Third place isn't bad, but it's still well behind the leader, Yarna D'al Gargan, who has 13%. Wait... did I just say the leader is Yarna D'al Gargan???? Man... I simply don't understand Star Wars fans. Sure, they made a hard copy prototype of her back in the 80's, but that doesn't make it a good idea to make her now!! If you're gonna pick a freak from Jabba's, at least pick the alien freak! Don't pick the six-breasted freak! Don't you realize how disturbing a six-breasted woman is?? It's a thing of nightmares!!
I see there are still a lot of idiots throwing away their votes on Quinlan Vos. You know, the same Quinlan Vos who's already gonna be made??!! If these people had any brains at all...
But there's still hope. This isn't a scientific poll by any stretch. And I don't think RebelScum is really the gathering place of the Willrow faithful. We can still win this! Just keep talking him up! Convince your friends! You can do it!!!
Third AGAIN??!! Posted by: Bill Cable 03.29.06 12:01am Yes, I really am slipping. Here I am, revealing yet another "Cable Original" drawing half-way down the page. To think... this art used to ALWAYS get top billing. But for what it's lacking in publicity, it makes up for in sheer quality! Check out Captain Typho!
Typho was another All-Con gift, this one given to Jay Laga'aia. Hopefully I'll receive some photos from All-Con soon *hint* *hint* Todd. In time for next week's update would be nice...
Bill Cable - the Steelers just won the Superbowl... Posted by: Bill Cable 03.29.06 12:01am What are you gonna do? "I'm going to Disney World!"
And that's exactly how it went down. Sort of. Granted, Lynda planned this trip several months before the Superbowl. But I know she only did it because she had faith they'd come out on top!!
It's been a while since anybody sent in any "CC.com SUCKS!" photos, so I figured I'd take it upon myself to add to the goodness. We were at Disney a few weeks ago, and had an absolute blast. Let me tell you, nothing is more magical than riding the Dumbo ride at 10pm with your 4-year-old daughter as fireworks are going off on all sides of you. It was just an amazing experience.
I also had the time to visit with some Vintage collectors while in Orlando, and they showed me a great time. I got to check out one of the most amazing Vintage collections out there. I still can't believe Scott has that hand-painted... Woop! I almost let it slide, there! Glad I caught myself! See, I had to promise not to tell anybody what he had in his collection before he'd let me see it. It's a good thing he didn't notice the camera in my cell phone...
Anyway, it was a fun trip. And it gave me the chance to add something new to the "Cantina Celebrities" page. Enjoy it!
Coming next week... Posted by: Tresob Yr 03.29.06 12:01am
A glorious new day in the Cantina! Posted by: Bill Cable 04.05.06 12:01am First, let me give props to my staff for one GLORIOUS update! They really came through for this anniversary edition of the site. They're the ones that keep this place going. Otherwise it'd just be some modestly funny guy hocking art.
So, what sort of comic strip could cap off such a powerful bevy of stories? What could "The Cantina" do to ratchet up the bar just one more peg? How's about... a brand new regular character??!!! We've never done that before... it's completely new and original!! Gasp at the creativity of this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!
Tronzo's 'From a Certain Point of View' Posted by: Jedi Tronzo 04.05.06 12:01am For years I have been preaching how Star Wars fans should get out of mommy and daddy's basement and live a little. Well folks, here is just one more example of how pathetic some people are.
Lately Hasbro has been flooding the market with crap such as resculpts, repaints and useless exclusives such as the new "Shadow Stormtrooper." Little does Hasbro know, but I created the Shadow Stormtrooper back in 1983 when I painted my vintage stormtrooper black, because I thought it would be cool. How original Hasbro! Let us not forget the new Ultimate Galactic Hunt figures that come with the exclusive silver figure stand. How exciting!!!
The funny thing is people will sell their souls to get the new figures while rushing to the local Wal-mart and Target to find the newest waves of rehashed crap. Granted, there are a few new sculpts that even I can't wait to get, like Scorch and Hem Dazon... but still!
Now that you have some background information, here is the story.
My friend, "Mrs. Waters" from Pennsylvania, has no soul. She traded it a few years ago for the Saga Hall of Fame resculpts. Her spineless husband ran to Target one morning and couldn't find any of the new UGH figures because a friend of mine was there before him and got the last one. They started talking and my friend even offered the guy some of the new figs he was going to buy, just not the UGH figure. So the guy went home and fabricated some lame-ass story to his wife about how my buddy knocked him out of the way and stole the figure from his cart, probably because he was scared that his wife would beat him senseless for not coming home with the UGH figures. Holy Crap!!! Are you kidding me!!!! So Mrs. Waters throws a hissy fit, finds my buddy's email address and sends him a nasty letter saying her 4-year old son wanted the UGH figure and a big bully like him shouldn't be buying all of the figures. What it really came down to was she was ticked off because she couldn't get the figure for herself and her husband was lying to her. It sounds to me like Mrs. Waters needs some therapy.
So to you Mrs. Waters I say this: It is time for you and your husband to move out of your parents' basement!
By the way, don't forget to renew your pathetic fan club memberships and vote for "Big E" Franks for fan club president. If "Big E" was president, the fan club would be a lot cooler! Vote for efranks@netenigma.com.
Chase figures Posted by: Tresob Yr 04.05.06 12:01am
Marketing departments know what we want.
Shiny things.
Oh, yes, the seductive glisten of a rare foil cardback...drawing us ever closer into the flames of hopeless consumption...
We don't need special figures.
We don't really need Ice-cream maker men or even six-breasted Tatooinese escorts...
What really makes collectors happy is metalized bases for our action figures and silver lined cards...
But if you like to UGH, then you'll love the next marketing scheme...
Bossk Facts no one knows Posted by: Baldy 04.05.06 12:01am
Bossk doesn't go bounty hunting, he goes bounty KILLING.
Bossk doesn't sleep, he lies in wait.
The leading cause of death for Ewoks is Bossk.
When young Wookiees go to sleep at night they don't check for the Bogeyman, they check for Bossk.
Bossk has flown to the edge of the universe.......... twice.
The best hand in Sabaac is Bossk's hand.
Bossk can lead a Gundark to water AND make it drink.
Bossk doesn't use any navigation of any sort. HE decides where he is.
The quickest way to a Wookiee's heart is Bossk's fist.
The Emperor once turned water into wine. Bossk then turned the wine into blue milk and threw it in Boba Fett's face.
Bossk doesn't shower, he only takes baths...... BLOOD baths.
The pressure from a bite from Bossk is a little over the amount of pressure it takes to crush a 16 foot thick titanium block.
Bossk can divide by zero.
The only reason all the patrons of Wuher's are allowed to live is sheerly for Bossk's amusement.
Bossk makes coffee by grinding the beans with his teeth and boiling the water with his rage.
Bossk knows where Jimmy Hoffa is.
Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the first Death Star. Bossk blew it up because Darth Vader owed him 3 republic credits.
Bossk doesn't just bounty hunt for money. He sells his urine to Earth and we all know it as Red Bull.
Bossk does not own a house. He walks into random houses and the people move out in fear for their lives.
Bossk brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
Bossk won the Boonta Eve race the past 5 years in a row. Without a pod.
Cable Original Art - Modern and Vintage! Posted by: Bill Cable 04.05.06 12:01am Two weeks of Cable Original posts third from the top, and now one in FIFTH??!! What is this world coming to?? I guess we just have to fit in where we're needed...
It wouldn't be a fifth anniversary without the revelation of some fantastic new Cable Original art. And this latest piece truly is fantastic. First let me start by declaring that I'm amazed that nobody scooped up this outfit before the 103rd Cable Original. It was begging to be made years ago. But the fact that nobody ever requested it really worked to its benefit. It gave my art time to mature enough to do it justice. I mean... when I look back at some of my early core characters, I'm almost embarrassed. Sure, I was just starting out... but some of those guys look nothing like the real characters. So in a way, I wish I hadn't done them so early on... before I started hitting my stride. But we all need to start somewhere.
Thankfully this character survived out of circulation as long as she did. So now I can present her in all her deserving glory. Presenting the original Princess Leia!
Isn't she gorgeous?? I'm really happy with how she turned out. I spent about 10 times as much time sketching and planning this one than I did actually drawing and inking it. Usually it's the other way around... but with her being all in white I knew I had to get her spot on... I couldn't hide behind my mad stippling skillz. It really paid off.
Of course, the headline of this article is Modern and Vintage art. Here's the Vintage part... The guy who commissioned some of my best early pieces is looking to sell some of them. He's keeping two of the ones he has, but he wants to sell the other three. He's looking to get $65 shipped for each of them (for whatever reason he thinks these things should have appreciated in value over the years). Amazingly, that's the same price as what I'm asking now! Seeing as there's a 12-month waiting list for new Cable Originals, this would be a good way to get your hands on one right away. And the three available are all among my all-time favorites... especially Wampa! Here's what you can get...
E-mail me at cable@creaturecantina.com if you're interested in purchasing any of these fine pieces of art. Otherwise, they're going to eBay.
CreatureCuts: News we'll shove into every orifice of your body. Posted by: Marblehead 04.05.06 12:01am The Dope On Yoda
In light of the recent steroid and doping scandals riddling the sports industry, allegations have begun to stir within the walls of Hollywood. Actions film stars have been taking the brunt of the blows but the pointing hasn't stopped there. Accusations have begun to fly most notably around our little, green friend, Yoda. Critics claim that his leap and bounds actions captured on film in EII during his encounter with Count Dooku can only be explained by the use of steroids. The critics continue to site other signs that point to his steroid use. Signs such as the persistent acne, stunted growth and severe, patchy hair loss. Neither Yoda's representative agent nor his medical advisor, Dr. Hans Zarkoff, could be reached for comment.
Lucas To Remake Episode IV
George Lucas has recently been quoted as saying, "I never much liked the live, on-location shoots and the fully constructed sets. Now that the technology has caught up with my vision I'm going to remake everything digitally." He continued, "After adding some of the characters and worlds from Episode I, Episode II and Episode III into Episode IV, I realized it just wasn't working and decided to remake it to my vision."
Episode V and VI sure to follow. The title for these new remakes is currently dubbed "Lusciously Lucrative Extra Special Editions." Look for them on DVD and video.
In related entertainment news, former rockers 'Stone Temple Pilots' to remake the video for their hit song, "Creep." Reportedly their goal is to honor Darth Maul and his unfortunate split decision demise in Episode I.
Obama defeats Darktrooper in latest Fan Choice vote!
"Huckabee" rejected as Cantina patron name... "Too strange"
Revealed: Hillary Clinton played Emperor in original 1980 ESB holo scene!
Plans to turn Geonosian execution arena into a shopping mall met with a few bugs
Romance on Kashyyk, the truth behind Wookie Nookie
Jabba joins Salvation Army due to misunderstanding. He thought it was the Salivation Army
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