This week our readers can see how George Lucas originally planned Ki-Adi-Mundi to escape the dreaded Order 66...

So for all you guys that didn't leave mom and dad's basement and venture out to CIII here is your chance to check out the hot chicks from CIII!!

You'll notice several of the photos were stolen from yours truly, the Creature Cantina.

The response, so far, has been tepid. As of this writing, ThankYouGeorge.com is well over 991,000 signatures short of Bojanowski's initial goal of 1 million. I don't expect that was the sort of total he was anticipating after over a month of heavy press and publicity.

In a related matter, last week self-proclaimed "Original Trilogy purist" Tony DeMatto launched his own campaign and web site - F---YouGeorge.com. In a press release, DeMatto summarized the inspiration for his site.

"You cannibalized the Star Wars trilogy, you sick sack of sh*t! You tried to ERASE the memories etched into our minds as children... memories we cherish!! Newsflash George - we made you a BILLIONAIRE! In exchange, WE now own Star Wars! We don't care about your so-called 'Original Vision.' And just because you now have the tools to completely destroy the movies we grew to love, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD! In fact, you have a moral obligation NOT TO!!! So here's our little tribute to what you've done with Star Wars. F*** YOU, GEORGE!!!"

Since the site went live less than 9 days ago, DeMatto has collected over 12 million signatures. That works out to roughly 5600 per hour, or 16 every second. DeMatto says he is not surprised. "Star Wars is beloved across the globe... by billions! And nobody is happy about the changes that have been made to it."

In addition to signing DeMatto's letter to George, users may enter their own comments. To describe them as "colorful" would be an understatement. One person who posted under the handle "UREvil" stated, "HAN SHOT FIRST you fat son of a bitch! Why do you have to try to shovel your revisionist, PC bullsh*t down our throats??!! You just had to make Han all soft and cuddly... eliminate all that unnecessary violence!! YOU SUCK!!!"

Another user who goes by the name "d13JrJrd13!!" lamented, "You RUINED Star Wars. You forced JarJar on us... then you DIDNT KILL HIM!!! Jar Jar should have got a hot lightsaber shoved down his throat before he got sliced in half. Cut off those stupid ears! Cut out that stupid tongue! Die Die Die!!! George, you blew it!!!"

I know... lame joke. But I'll tell ya... the timing of this latest "Cable Original" couldn't be more fortuitous! I would have been hesitant to reveal it last week as it's a bit spoilerish. But now that I'm sure everyone here has seen ROTS, there's no reason not to reveal it to the world. So feast your eyes on Darth Sidious!!!

According to an early draft of ROTS which Creature Cantina recovered from George Lucas's trash, Palpatine delivers very precise exposition regarding why he hates the Jedi so much. Though the lines were cut from the actual movie, we've reinserted them in this action figure comic re-enactment.

(Those with heart conditions and/or dial-up connections are not recommended to view the following action-packed comic strip.)

So let's take a look at this puppy...

I know... brilliant! Gorgeous art. Gorgeous colors. Just like my previous customs. But this one features a couple dramatic improvements.

• Cardback: My first two custom carded figures were printed on color laserjets. The colors were brilliant and the image quality was top-notch. But the print just isn't all that durable. If you have even slightly clammy hands and touch it, you're going to leave an ugly, rainbow-colored fingerprint. And then it's ruined. With this new cardback, I upgraded to a color laser printer. The image quality is phenomenal... pixel-perfect. And best of all... this sh*t is damn near waterproof. I mean... LITERALLY. I had a spare sheet that I cut wrong, so I dripped some water on it. It rolled right off. I was like... "woah!" So then I ran it under the sink. And that water just cascaded across, like off a duck. So then I was like... "WTF??" So then I soaked it with some water and really rubbed hard with my fingernail... THAT DID IT!! So this sucker is solid against anything short of vicious abuse.
• Bubble seal: For my previous customs, I sealed the bubbles with epoxy. It was a very strong seal, but in an effort to get it sealed well it sort of beaded all around the outside edge of the bubble. The guys at OSWCC showed me a better option - scrapbooking tape! It's acid-free and super-strong. And it's a lot neater to apply. So no more epoxy bead around the whole thing!

The only thing that's not an improvement over my previous customs is the coin. I was simply unable to find a consistent source for cheap-ass Droids coins. So I had to go with the next-best option... resin cast coins. I got them from noted customizer "Bantha5." They're coated by a special process that gives a fantastic gold finish not able to be achieved with paint. So it's a small downgrade v/s a real coin, but one I was very comfortable going with. I mean, they really look fantastic!

First up is the infamous Blue Snaggletooth costume photo. A couple photos of this costume have popped up on a couple different sites, so it's really not the breaking news I'd hoped it be. But I did observe one thing. You know how Tattoo Shane has "The Pose?" Well, I think Gus Lopez has his own "Gus Pose." It seems like every time he's showing off some costume or another he does the whole hand-on-the-hip model pose. Disturbing, to be sure...

The second photo was taken during dinner at the Omni house restaurant. We had about 30 Vintage guys in there chowing down on damn good food, and somehow I ended up back between these two Aussie bastards. I gotta say, the laughs I had with these guys made me wonder whether I was born in the wrong country. I mean.. gut-busting laughs... genuine, easy joviality... I just really seemed to "fit in" wedged between those two lunks. That was one of the highlights of C3 for me.

Hi, it's me again- you know, the one person that suggested that Wuher make the mistake of confronting General Grievous on the "droid" issue be made into a comic?

Well, I actually know the person who sent in that fantastic piece of Grievous, and I was very inspired by her example to submit a piece of my own! However.. since I'm pretty sure you get a flood of everyday Star Wars works, I wanted to present you with a special surprise of my own: fanart of the Cantina webcomic itself!

http://www.deviantart.com/view/17965781/

I tried really hard to make it look like something straight out of the comic, and considering I did it entirely on the computer with one of those java applet drawing tools ("Oekaki" as we call it), I'm actually rather pleased with the result.

Take care, and perhaps maybe we'll meet in 2007 at Celebration IV! :)

-Laura McGregor

It was for some card game or something, I don't know... But whatever it was for it was spiffy.

Now, I went on a Friday expecting a small crowd... and that's pretty much what I got. That was good in that it wasn't elbow-to-elbow chaos the whole time... but the downside was that you didn't get the typical convention parade of humanity that's so enjoyable. There weren't a lot of people in costume. Maybe it was as much a function of the weather as it was the crowd size, but I was a bit disappointed by that. But I did run into a couple costumed folks who more than made up for the lack of wondrous variety.

The first story involved the following photo (which I'm more than happy to share again):

As you can sort of see in the photo, I decided to wear my "Moisture Farm" T-shirt to the convention. It's a great shirt, and since CreatureCantina.com has yet to manufacture a great shirt I figured I'd represent in one I was given as a gift at C3. I like it. It's clever. But I never anticipated the reaction I got. I had people all over the place commenting on the shirt! Stopping me to look at it. Complimenting it. I even had one guy lean in to read the tiny little Chewseum.com URL on the front so he could go on-line to get one for himself. The guys thought it was brilliant. The ladies were hanging all over me. I mean, I've been going to conventions for years and I've never gotten that much attention over my shirt. It was pretty awesome, actually.

I looked on Chewseum.com and it appears that they don't have the shirts for sale there. So Skye, you're throwing away a fortune here. Don't be a fool! You've produced the Mad Daddy of all Star Wars parody Pepperidge Farm T-shirts! Start selling that sucker ASAP!!

My second story that I hoped to include... I was standing by the Garrison Carida booth, and was introduced to somebody who knew about CreatureCantina.com. And the guy said something that was absolutely hilarious. He told me he actually recognized SirSteve Comenzo at a convention based on my Oznemoc character in "The Cantina" comic strip!! Now, I know my caricature of Mr. Comenzo is good... but I didn't realize it was that good. I mean... recognizing a real-life person based on his depiction in a comic strip??? That's the ultimate proof that I've successfully captured the essence of my subject, and a rare compliment indeed!

With two huge tasks, building a battle station for the new Empire and hunting down the last remnants of the Jedi Order, the pressure may be more than this young man can take.

Rumors of death stick and ale binges persist around Coruscant. Not a day goes by that the HoloNet doesn't have a new report that Vader has been spotted in some cantina on the lower levels.

Recently this photo of the Dark Lord of the Sith was snapped in a back alley of Coruscant. Friends say that an intervention may be needed.

Bill,

I’ve been reading your website for over a year, and enjoy it and your Cantina comic strip a great deal. I had an idea for it from Episode III and thought I would send it in, if you are taking submissions. Please find attached three .gif files, numbered in sequential order.

Thanks, and best wishes,
Patrick Harrington

Thank you Patrick! I hope you don't mind me sharing it with the world!

It turns out that George Lucas was fully aware of this problem in his earlier drafts and actually provided significantly greater motivation for Anakin's moral collapse. In the following action figure comic, we have recreated one of those rejected scenes that showed a gradual increase in Anakin's frustration...

• How many times does Anakin cry?
• How many times do moviegoers cry during Ep 3?
• How many limbs/hands/heads/body parts does Obi Wan cut/lop/chop/hack off in Ep3?
• How many Jedi die way too easily at the hands of clones who are usually shooting each other?
• How many Wookiees died during the battle on their home planet?
• How many moviegoers actually CARED about those Wookiees?
• How many people saw the Millennium Falcon in the movie?
• How many of those people who said they did actually DID?
• How many times did Palpatine laugh/chortle/giggle/sneer in the movie?
• How many people wanted Jar Jar to DIE? ( you can count moviegoers AND cast members )
• How many times did General Grievous cough/gag/choke/sputter during his time in the movie?
• How many Battle Droids and/or evil robots got their asses handed to them by R2D2?
• How many times should Mace Windu have just whipped ass instead of asking silly questions?
• How many wardrobe changes does Padme go thru during the movie?
• And how many hairstyles?
• How many good lines did Padme have? ( sorry, trick question there )

But I can't really be too upset. I got a mountain of E-mails yesterday afternoon from people wanting art, and even a few deposits! And far be it from me to criticize someone whose efforts led to money in my pocket!! I very much appreciate the publicity, Mr. Jay! And then "Grand Moff Aaron" posted a thread in the forums asking owners to post pics of their Cable Originals... to which a whole two people (one a paid staff member here) replied. It's just raining free press!!

One warning, though... the recent strong demand for "Cable Originals" had led to something of a backlog for me. I have 9 pieces with paid deposits (well, 8 and the Slave Leia I'm going to do something special with). Since my maximum output is about 2 per month when I'm on a roll, we're looking at about a 5 month wait if you pay a deposit on something today. I really don't like to rush my art, but I do get in good grooves from time to time where the creativity just flows. Just so you know that if you plonk down your $25 today don't expect anything in your mailbox next week. Or next month. Next year... yeah, there's a much better chance of that.

Oh yeah... you probably would like to see my art... again. Here you go!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7166065974

Bid while the bidding is good and take home a real collection centerpiece!

I don't know why there's such low interest in this one. I thought it turned out fantastic, and the quality of materials and construction is top-notch. I mean, it's a thing of beauty... just check the pics!

Despite their excellence they haven't sold. Maybe it's just the wrong time. Well, I'm not gonna sit on this stack of Royal Guards forever! I'd like to get rid of them as soon as possible, honestly. I'm gonna be kinda busy the next few months!! And since I'm doing pretty well on the art deposit front, I figured I'd give everyone out there a spectacular deal on this thing. So this week only, I'm going to knock $10 off my asking price. That's right... you can get one of these beautiful, quality customs featuring my own gorgeous artwork for the low low price of $65 shipped!! After deducting the cost of materials I'm barely making minimum wage on my time creating and assembling these things. But that's all sunk costs at this point, and it's time to move on.

If you're interested, send an E-mail to cable@creaturecantina.com. This custom is limited to a single run of 10 pieces, and comes with a signed and numbered COA. If you have any preference on the number (from 1 to 10), include your top 3 choices in the E-mail. Some people care... some people don't. And please E-mail your TR buddies in the 501st about this piece!! I have something kind of special in mind for my next Droids custom, and the success of this run will go a long way towards determining if I can go through with it. I mean, if there's no demand for these anymore, there's no sense in me doing them no matter how much I might enjoy making them.

I don't remember the message verbatim, but the gist of it was like... "I got the art today and it was phenomenal. You're they best artist ever to walk this earth. I can't wait to send you my money."

Anyways, this whole no E-mail thing has put a crimp in my style, and messed up my plans for this week. So I'm just gonna go ahead and say, "click on the thumbnail to enjoy the art!"

But there was one problem. It seems that my particular collecting focus... as central as it is to my identity... may very well have infused my DNA! Kinda like how the Fantastic Four, when bathed in cosmic rays, displayed symptoms in tune with their own personalities... well that my best guess as to why this happened...

When the doctor first saw her, the first words out his mouth were the strangely apt, "Oh my!" But despite her golden hue, little Baby Jasmine is just fit as a fiddle! She was born at 2:56pm on Thursday, July 11th. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 5.2 ounces... surprisingly light for a 17.75" tall golden baby! It took us a while to get used to the color, and the flash glare is a pain... but once we saw what came out in her diaper it was MORE than worth the trade off!!

All kidding aside, both mother and daughter are doing very well. And we're all elated. Here's here real picture.

From: Sesshomaru772611@****.com
To: cable@creaturecantina.com
Date: Jul 1, 2005 3:23 PM
Subject: New Picture

Hi i'm i big star wars fan and i was wondering could you put a clone ship on the website? thanks bye!

Anything to please my fans. Here you go, Sess:

This pair is from the Mark Salotti birthday dinner. Great time. Great food. I hope you get a sense of it from the photos (as captioned by Mr. Salotti himself)...

Mark's Birthday Dinner-Group Shot

Mark 'Fat Bastard' Salotti, Bill 'Bloody Legend' Cable, Doug (iHu) and Anthony Woolley

Take for example this recent E-mail. This was sent to me after the Rebelscum feature on my art by the courageous-for-using-his-real-name "Joe Schmoe." And well... he didn't really like my art...

From: Joe Schmoe <obiwampa@msn.com>
To: cable@creaturecantina.com
Date: Jun 23, 2005 12:19 AM
Subject: your 'art'...

Please never do another drawing ever again. I saw your doodle of Greivous's bodyguard on Rebelscum and laughed out loud when I read that someone had actually paid real money for it. I honestly cannot believe anyone would want one of these, things. I could illustrate better than you when I was a junior in high school. Seriously, thanks for the laugh.

Aw... is that envy I sense? What's wrong, Joe... can't get your own art publicized anyplace. Poor guy... Maybe I could toss one of my TWENTY paid commissions his way...

I don't know how much to read into this... how much to consider that maybe I have the power to inspire people to action. But I can't help but be flattered when I see that one of my articles has prompted someone or something to create something.

The article was the one from a few weeks ago where I detailed the lack of signatures on the ThankYouGeorge.com petition. In that article, which can be found in the News Archive, I wrote about how TYG.com wasn't doing well, but a rival site, "F---YouGeorge.com" was doing spectacularly. I gotta say, it was an inspired article.

Last week I was checking TYG.com to see if they were any closer to their goal of 1 million sigs. They weren't. Then for the hell of it I typed in my joke URL. Well... somebody actually went out and registered the thing. But they didn't do it with the hyphens... they registered the real domain name. You know... the dreaded "f dash dash dash"YouGeorge.com. I'm not gonna link to it here, the somewhat kid-friendly site we are, but if you want to find it you'll know what to type. I was floored!