But what do eBay bidders do? They swallow the story hook, line & sinker. Not only are they shelling out $120+ for the Padme, they're also paying $100 + for the Anakin and Vader because conveniently they're recalling the entire cases that contain the Padme figures. Can you believe it???

So, let's have some fun ridiculing the halfwits who bid up these outrageous auctions...

With the recent onset of the Clone Wars Jedi Padawans are being pressed into service sooner than would normally happen. Because of that, some training has been accelerated or skipped, including tutorials on building Lightsabers. Because of this several accidents have been reported with the weapon in recent weeks. An order for 500 blasters has been sent to Kexeerian Blasters Technology (KBT) with more orders to follow. It was uncertain from the announcement if these blasters were standard pistols or heavy rifles.

An unnamed source within the temple had this to say; "I don't care for the randomness of a blaster, but with an inexperienced Padawan next to me in a fight, I'll feel safer if he can't hit what he's aiming at."

This post received a single response... you can read the response here:
http://forums.rebelscum.com/..._topic;f=9;t=006651

Marblehead himself would like to respond to these allegations! His response:

"Nah, crack's too expensive. I stick with sniffin' Elmer's Glue All and sucking the d***s of dead dogs to survive...just don't tell my girlfriend."

Creature Cantina contacted the Catholic Church for comment. Sister Mary Kate Ashley responded saying, "This figure is an abomination. What we need here is some duct tape, and a few lashes of my ruler will take care of these dirty minds."

A anonymous Hasbro representative responded with this cryptic remark, "Boobies are the sh*t."

So Andrei... do you think you could hook me up with a "CC.com SUCKS!" photo in front of St. Basil's Cathedral in Moscow? I already got a shot from the South Pole. Of course I suppose Russia is kind of a big country, so you might not live anywhere near Moscow... But hey, if you DO live nearby and happen to be in the neighborhood, take a shot for me, bud! Here's a link to the sign:

http://creaturecantina.com/graphics_temp/ccs_high.GIF

I just have one thing to say to these people... The people you are mocking are the people you depend on. We build your laptops. We manage your network. We invented your PDA. We drive all advancements in technology. We keep the world running while you sleep. Do not f*** with us.

Now here's those toons...

About halfway through the festivities, before the serving of the cake, Dave Matthews himself stopped in mid-song and belted out a monstrous yell. But what did he see?

A large shadow was cast inside of a large cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared..a figure appeared. Standing at approximately 4' 5", a person wearing the helmet and jetpack of the belated Jango Fett clumsily made his way through the doorway. A huge roar of laughter ran ramped across all of Planet Naboo as Boba made his way towards Anakin, only to fall flat on his face, shattering the helmets visor.

"I'm here for you, Jedi Master! You killed my fatha!" exclaimed a visibly shaken Fett, as he dusted himself off.

Up stepped Mace Windu, with an angry scowl on his face. "What's my name?" proclaimed Windu. "I dunno!" squeaked Boba, after Mace laid his hand across Boba's face. "WHAT'S MY NAME!" he said again. "MACE WINDU!" exclaimed Boba. "Ya damn right.." said Mace, with a sly smile as he kicked Boba in the rear, and out of the establishment.

Brushing his hands clean of Jango Jr., Mace was approached by a beautiful female Twi'lek. He turned to her and said. "It's my duty to please that booty". A roar of applause and whistles came from the patrons as Anakin and Padme high-fived Mace as he made his way to the Liquid Lounge VIP Room. The band broke into "Ants Marching" and Padme served up some of the best cake this side of the galaxy. A good time was had by all, thanks to the unexpected entertainment.

On a lighter note,

So I saw Stoj's Vader ad and inspiration hit me... what a great place for a silly joke about the Han Hoth he failed to sell on eBay! So I posted my joke. Little did I know that my attempt to bring a small smile into the lives of the Vintage Classifieds readers would cause a firestorm!

Chancellor Palpatine steps up to ‘Supreme’ Saga Sewage
Posted by: Bodondagweedo 8-14-02 12:01am
Disclaimer:
Hasbro stepped up to the plate this year to deliver new improved ‘action’ based figures, which feature more playability and accessories. Well I guess some of the figures in the line fell though the cracks and I happed to be so kind enough to not let it go unnoticed. This weekly column is strictly based on attempting to bolster better quality control at Hasbro, possible spontaneous laughter and a positive outlet for anger management (per my therapists instructions). I'll critique figures and vehicles so there is nothing sacred here. If you're looking for something positive or uplifting, well you ain't gonna find it here. So without further adieux...

It was mid day, the sun was shining and the Toy Gods were smiling when the hunt for the illusive maniacal phantom menace ended in the isle of a local Toys R Us. I quickly snatched him up and hauled him off to the house. Before I open a figure I perform a thorough pre-inspection. As I began to peer into the bubble I realized something... wait a minute, hold up, what the F***! Dude's sick, somebody call a doctor, get me a 2-1B medic droid stat!

The hopes of setting this particular piece of plastic free had diminished upon site of his face. Now granted he's an ugly bastard but it wasn't aesthetics that concerned me... because I was seeing spots. You can't free a figure when there's an epidemic happening inside the blister. He's quarantined for a reason, could it be anthrax, blood or blister agents, or possibly even chicken pox. Well I went out on a limb because ‘In George I Trust,’ and I know he would never steer me wrong! So I took some penicillin, donned my gas mask and opened er' up.

Here is where my disappointment reached a whole new level. Yes he may have several points of articulation but, I spent five bucks on this guy and I want more than an old man in his bathrobe just standing there with his hands crossed. So I searched... yes that's right I went under the robe. Maybe, just maybe he had some kind of action feature under the robe... if you know what I mean? I figured he and my Padme figure could engage in some sort of intense closed-door senatorial negotiations. It's not really all that far from the realm of possibilities, after all isn't it Padme whose nipples were ‘unleashed.’ Well no such "Sith Infiltration Action" feature, just articulation at the shins. Yea, I thought that too... who the hell wants or needs articulation at the shins? So what do you get for five bucks, not much except saying that you have one? Well that's not enough for me and in closing this week I wrote a poem detailing my figures current status.
Enjoy...

Well, I certainly feel better. How about you?
--MTFBWY

In this exclusive segment, I, Dark Hybrid decided to do a little Bounty Hunter "Where are they now" piece.

I caught up with Dengar at Maul Memorial Hospital on Tatooine, where he now serves as a nurse's assistant.

"She drapes these friggin' bandages on me..tells me to hold still..and that's about all I do. God, and here I was thinking I was reprogrammed to have no feeling? What a load of crap.."

After a short visit with Dengar, it was off to Dexter's Diner where I caught up with good 'ol 4-LOM. 4-LOM now busses tables at Dexters establishment. 4-LOM was too busy to speak, however his "significant other", Zuckuss, said that 4-LOM is making ends meet the "right way" these days. It appears that 4-LOM has accepted God into his everyday life, and is quoted that he "couldn't be happier".

Now, who could forget our pal IG-88? Well, unfortunately IG's life was extinguished at the hands of one BFI Space Sanitation Truck. An bounty hunter insider told me that IG-88 failed to follow through on an assassination attempt on Wuher a few weeks prior to his death. Word has it, IG-88 binged on Castrol GT, made his way into a BFI dumpster in a drunken stupor, only to fall prey to the jaws of one of BFI's fleet garbage trucks the next morning. Mangled beyond recognition, IG-88's hunting days were over.

Lastly, who could forget Bossk? Much like the treehugging hippy we all knew back in High School, Bossk decided to "be one" with the Earth, and rejoin captivity by seeking refuge at what is now the San Angeles Metropolitan Zoo. Bossk is now a main attraction at the zoo in the crocodile display. Bossk, who is now at peace with himself, had this to say. "You never know your true self..until you retrace your roots..then, and only then, will you find true happiness within yourself." Bossk, not always one for words, then slithered on to a rock and began his daily meditation.

Ever heard the cliché "a fool and his money are soon parted?" As I look at my newest edition to my personal Star Wars Universe I can't help but be reminded of that damn phrase and once again my money was parted at Toys R Us and of course I played the role of the fool.

Eddie Bauer X-Wing Touches Down

The saga line of new "Exclusive" vehicles reminds me of an automakers signature series bearing the "exclusive" Eddie Bauer name except in our universe it's Luke Skywalker's name that commands a higher price when attached to a piece of overpriced plastic. Specifically, speaking of Luke Skywalker's X-Wing fighter. Yes it is a nice vehicle but why when first sighted would it bring an otherwise stable man to a proliferation of profanity? Glad you asked because I happen to have a list...here goes!

First off, if it's Luke's then that leads to the obvious question...WHERE THE HELL IS HE!? The Landspeeder due out has his happy ass in there and Luke's Snowspeeder came with him and Dak and cost about 10 bucks less. Instead I got a mucked up R2D2, which buy the way I found that if you clear your sinuses and hock a loogie on an old R2 you get the same result if not a more realistic one. For 40 bucks I expect and X-wing pilot Luke and with big puffy nipples to boot. But instead I get his freakin' lunch box, which by the way is well worth the 10 extra bucks I paid!

Next on the list is the overwhelming sense of deja vu I had when I was opening the package...oh wait that's right...I already own this ship. And if memory serves correctly it came with FX sounds and ironically had Luke's sorry ass in the freaking cockpit a-n-d you could recreate the Death Star chasm scene without much imagination. And speaking of imagination or the lack thereof, that is exactly what it took for the 'think tanks' at Hasbro to come up with this recessionary repainted reproduction, of something that never should have been F***ed with in the first place.

Finally, I enjoy debates and have been know to instigate a few. So my great debate with this vehicle lies in its inability to produce originality. But wait...hold up...you can stick R2's midget ass in the back. Oh no, hang on...I forgot they got that from the Playskol version. Sorry, I thought for a minute I had something good to say!

So what do you get for 40 bucks? Something you already have, in a smaller box with no bells and whistles. Now that's what I call 'Attack of the Clones' marketing genius! Feel violated yet? Well I do. So it is revenge I seek and another poem for your optical enjoyment to end the week.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1760283265

How can this item increase the value of your vintage collectibles? Isn't it obvious? Simply peel and apply these stickers to your common MIB ROTJ items and voila! - you have a rare prototype transition piece!! Sound crazy? It's not! In fact... it happened before! Just check these out...

http://www.toysrgus.com/images-fakes/fake-potf-c3p0-case.html
http://www.toysrgus.com/images-fakes/fake-potf-cloudcar.html
http://www.toysrgus.com/images-fakes/fake-potf-leia.html

Hello, my name is Chris and I was wondering if I could commission you to do a drawing for my friend Jon's birthday. I read about your site through one of your posts on Rebelscum, I feel in love with your drawings and I thought it would be an excellent gift. His birthday is on August 17th, and I know that you can't possibly get it done in that time frame, but I really want to get this for him and I figure better late than never.

Now, the best way to get me to do something is to say I can't possibly do it. So I got to thinking. First I thought it would only work if the guy lived nearby... somewhere east coast-ish. That way I could priority mail it Thursday and have it arrive safely on time. I get his mailing address... WY-friggin-OMING! That drastically reduced my window for mailing. I figured I had two nights to complete the work if there was any hope of getting it to the guy on Saturday. Two nights... one of them half done already. It was mission impossible... and I chose to accept it. I picked one from the list of characters the buyer provided and went to work.

8am Wednesday morning I was at the post office with my finished piece. I got delivery confirmation so I'd know when it arrived. The USPS web site said it was in Denver at 1am Friday, but it never said that the package arrived. I was on pins & needles until Monday when the guy let me know the drawing did arrive on time. And he was thrilled with the end result. And I'm happy to post it in the "Cable Original Star Wars Gallery."

TIE Fighter pilots as well as AT-AT and AT-ST drivers have been trying to negotiate a new contract for almost six months. They are asking for additional money in the form of Hazardous Duty Pay and overtime as well as signing bonuses for passing tests to fly new ships such as the Advanced TIE and the TIE Interceptor. The Senate has thus far refused on all counts.

The Senate's counter proposal would give all pilots a 3% raise this year followed by 4% and 5% raises over the next two years. They would, however, cut out all overtime pay and stop issuing credits to those involved in dangerous operations against the Rebellion.

The other part of the contract that the Senate has proposed would see money re-routed from high paid outfits like the TIE Interceptor squadrons around the Death Star and Coruscant and funneled to regular TIE outfits around Dantooine and Kessel where the danger, and pay, is much less. The UFP says this is a deal breaker.

"Taking money away from our pilots on Coruscant and the Death Star to raise the pay of these glider pilots on Kessel? That's bulls***," stated UFP rep, Curtis F'lood.

"What the pilots fail to realize," states Senate minority whip Orn Free Taa, "is that we've a war to fight. This isn't the time to argue over trivial things like money. We need every one of them up to the task at hand, and that means more money for the outer rim worlds."

UFP representatives, after a short, 20 minute meeting on Sunday voted unanimously to set August 30th as the strike date. That's just three days from now.

On hearing of this deadline Emperor Palpatine issued this statement; "Wipe them out. All of them."

"I understand his anger, but I think that's a little excessive," said F'lood upon hearing the Emperors words. "I think we can settle this a little more peacefully."

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Damn that Harry Potter... damn him to HELL!!

Second of all, a friend of mine who runs an on-line comic book store (who asked not to be identified) received an "Important Notice" from LucasFilm and Master Replicas. This notice asked him to pull ALL information on the Vader saber off his site. Nasty threats and consequences followed. Here's the mail:

Subject: *** IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM LUCAS FILMS AND MASTER REPLICAS 8/20/02 ***

*****IMPORTANT NOTICE*****

Lucas Films, Ltd. and Master Replicas have asked us to inform our customer base that they must take down all information concerning the Darth Vader Collector's Edition Lightsaber. All customers must comply with this, with no exceptions.

Please be aware that Lucas Films and Master Replicas will be checking websites throughout the world for anyone posting any sort of information about this Vader saber. Noncompliance can lead to your order being cancelled and not filled by any Master Replicas Distributor.

Please reply to this email as confirmation that you have complied with the request from Lucas Films and Master Replicas to remove any and all information regarding these matters. Your help with this is greatly appreciated; thank you very much!

I ask why wouldn't LFL and MR want Internet people to know that the Darth Vader light saber is listed as carrying a MSRP of $299.99 or with a display case $349.99 Why hide that this is the first of these light sabers to be offered with a display case - the same or similar display case has been available for the others, just separately.

My source was initially told the saber would be released in November and would be limited to 5000 pieces - that's 2X as many as the other light sabers and 4X as many as the Han Solo blaster. He has no idea why they've told everyone to take down any mention of the item on all web sites and everything.

Captain Needa is in fact alive and in VERY good spirits, as I conducted an interview with him this past week. Needa had this documentation of the event.

"Vader always had a flair for looking "ruthless", so after that force choke, he turned away and washed his hands clean of me so to speak. He's really a softy at heart, so I can't blame the old man for trying to impress all those new recruits."

Needa says that after Vader departed, he scrambled to his feet, grabbed an oxygen tank, and jumped out of a near by vacuum door, to be rescued by the Space Coast Guard. "I used to tighten my neck ties tighter than his grip, that old hound!" says Needa jokingly. The Captain, after his salvation, was returned to his home planet of Naboo where he went into business for himself. Hoping to shake his horrible "evil" past, Lorth started his own taxi service in Naboo, aptly named "Needa Lift?".

"The business is quite profitable these days! So many new businesses here in Naboo. It's flourishing beautifully, and I pride myself on being the best in the taxi transportation business! Needa reports his earnings as being in the "billions of credits" since his last audit.

Jango Fett loved kids. He was a sucker for rugrats, as we all seen by his undying affection for his son, Boba. But before Jango decided to lead a life of crime to make ends meet, he was...a babysitter.

Fett, who once called Brooklyn Center, MN his "home away from home", here on Earth, once ran his own daycare center aptly named, "Jolly Jango's". Fett always had a way with the kids, whether it was his "Fun with Guns" activity center or his very own concoction, "Kamino Kookies + Kool Aid" at snack time.

Here's a list so far:

• Pumpkin Headed Padme with Revealing-Super-Sexy-Barely-There Halloween outfit
• Thanksgiving Anakin with Roasted Shaak Feast
• Life Day Chewbacca with Life Day Robes(this will apparently include his entire wookie family from the SW Holiday Special)
• Happy Hannukah Darth Vader with Dreidel Spinning Force Action
• Easter Bunny Ears Darth Maul with Easter Egg Basket and Egg Throwing Force Action

So I got this E-mail from Jason asking if I still take money for auction plugs. Ummmm... DUH! I'm not pulling in any cash from anything else on this frickin' site!! So he sends me his link and of course it spans three entire rows of an E-mail message. So I ended up just doing a search for his user ID (pain in my ass) and it turns out he's auctioning these STUPID "Gatchaman" Kubrick figures...
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764067615

What the SAM HELL is a GATCHAMAN??? Why would you want these things plugged on a STAR WARS SITE??? So I go to the link, and it's G-Force figures. But does he call them G-Force anywhere in his auction?? Noooooo... And he lists the thing in the Action Figures:Other category. Yeah... sure to draw a lot of traffic there...

OK... I kid. He doesn't really want me to plug his G-Force Kubricks. He's ALSO auctioning off some loose vintage 12"ers. And by the looks of things he's learned a thing of two from the eBay master (That would be me). There are no reserves. The opening bids were for a buck. They end in the evening next Monday. Aside from copious type-os in the auction descriptions, there isn't much I can criticize. AHHHH... IT'S KILLING ME!!! But I'll give it the ol' college try... aHem... Hey DUMB ASS... in your C-3PO auction when you described it as "The overall condition is excellent and he still remains much of his original gold luster" That should read "he still RETAINS much of his original gold luster." Where the F--- did you go to college?? WASSAMATTA U???!! I think you owe your parents back $30K for all the education you wasted!!

So you wanna see his auctions for a bunch of C9.5 loose complete 12" vintage figures? I sure hope you do because he's paying by the hit...

C9 Luke Skywalker:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764067602

C9.5 Han Solo (100% complete and original, including the medal!!):
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764067594

C9 Stormtrooper:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764067573

C9.5 Chewie:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764067555

C9.5 Darth Vader:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764065236

C9 C-3PO (remains luster):
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1764065205

The launch of GH.com stands to deal a crushing blow to the traffic and mind share enjoyed by RebelScum.com, the current dominant Star Wars collecting site. RS got a huge lift earlier this year when fan favorite CollectStarWars.com merged with them to create THE Star Wars collecting site. Rumors indicate there was a rocky relationship between Mike and Phil from the get-go, and the merger was motivated primarily by a LucasFilm threat to confiscate the CSW domain name. Whatever the reasons, the partnership between the two webmasters dissolved, and "BananaPunk" Mike moved on to create his latest and greatest site. It's this reporter's belief that the collectors who were forced to move to RS as a result of the merger will quickly migrate back to the true successor of the once great CollectStarWars.com. I just hope GH.com decides NOT to suck up to Hasbro this time around and actually posts the prototype photos we collectors want to see!!

I was cruising the site's home page (not the "Under Construction" graphic... what the site will actually look like when launched) and man does this look sharp. Gorgeous site design... the only detracting element being the gaudy banner ads on the right. There look to be a TON of new resources. None of the links were working, but it will be fantastic to be able to access the new Image Bank, Case Assortments, Check Lists, and Store Reports. No other site has those sorts of resources so easily accessible. It'll be interesting to see if they pull it off, and how content will be managed.

Up to this point Hasbro had yet to produce a credible plastic version of Luke’s luv ma’chine. But if you’ve visited your local Toys R Us lately then you know all that has changed. This thing is freakin’ sweeeeeeet!

Yea, that’s right... you heard it here first. I’m actually being positive about a toy produced by Hasbro. I never fault anyone for getting something right, even if it takes two or three tries. They actually put thought and effort into a re-sculpt as opposed to the same damn sorry ass speeder with a new paint job (never seen that before); and they have packed it with... uh... the Flashback Luke with Action "Floppy Hat."

So what do you get for roughly 20 bucks? Something that was done right! It is truly a wide-bodied, custom crafted, piece of Star Wars history. The speeder is noticeably bigger, wider and longer. The front end doesn’t pop open either. And if I recall there was never a need for this feature in the first place. So the luggage area is gone, but what Tatooine redneck wouldn’t go nuts over a gun rack? Yup, Luke’s Red Rider now fits firmly on the side for easy sandpeople skull splitting action.

The paint scheme is also more detailed and realistic. It seats two comfortably and that’s about it. No pegs for R2 and 3P0, which is why this particular piece is truly collector grade material. The window box makes it an excellent display piece, eliminating the need to open er’ up... cause what you see is what you get. Finally, no Landspeeder would be complete without that incestuous, whinny Jedi himself, Luke Skywalker. Hence the product name; Luke Skywalker’s Landspeeder... I told you they did it right!

Last week I shocked and amazed readers by being quite positive about Luke's Landspeeder and as much as it pains me I'm gonna do it again, cause I love the Gunship. In my mind you can never go too large on a Star Wars vehicle, bigger is always better and of course size matters. This ship ranks right up there with the Falcon, Naboo Royal Starship and the Shuttle Tydirium, therefore, securing its place in plastic history.

There's so much to say that I guess I'll start with the packaging. No window box here, simply because There's just no damn room. The goods inside are packed tighter than a virgin on prom night and if you decide to open it [which you should] odds are you ain't getting it back in the box. The ship is 2 feet long from end to end, 8 1/2 inches high, with an approximate wingspan of 2 feet and it's totally tricked out with tons of weaponry and special features, almost too many to list... but here goes:

Vehicle Features:
2 Projectile missiles in the front
2 missiles inside each sliding door
4 missiles under each wing
2 Projectile cannon rockets
2 Rotating gun turrets
2 rear grappling hooks
1 swiveling tail cannon
2 sliding doors
1 Deployable Troop platform (fits 4-6 figures)
Opening canopy (seats 2)

As long and distinguished as that list is... There's more! That's right, this baby is expandable... Yippie! If you feel like dropping some extra cash on upgrading the gunship, you can add two attachable turrets from Clone Trooper gunship Pilots and the rear cargo bay fits one deluxe Clone Trooper Speeder Bike. Now that makes it more than a vehicle it transforms it into a work of art.

Other than online, Wal*Mart has been the first retail outlet to release the ship nationwide. It carries with it a $38.86 price tag, which is extremely reasonable if compared to the $40 TRU X-wing. In fact my X-wing is going back to TRU and I'm gonna re-invest those funds into another Gunship. Who knows, maybe I'll see you in the return line too!

So what do you get for roughly 40 bucks? One smooth ass vehicle. it's like a school bus for Super Troopers or a mini van for Star Wars soccer moms. It seats two comfortably up front with room to stand about nine figures inside. The only thing it's missing is a folding rear seat, cup holders and keyless entry. My favorite feature hands down is the one touch, retractable doors, which open with such smoothness. Yes I admit it's the little things that amaze me.

And when you not dropping the kids off to kick some ass you can cruise the galaxy in style when you purchase the Target exclusive Gunship Party pack. It comes complete with inflatable figure, disco ball and kegs, kegs and more kegs. That's right it not only helps boost troop moral but helps stunt the growth of the already vertically challenge clone family tree... if you know what I mean! So trick that bitch out...

"I often hear people complaining about how much CreatureCantina.com sucks, but they sure don't when it comes to my auctions! Time and time again Bill and the creative team at CC.com seem to come up with inventive ways of both making me look like an ass, and driving bidder traffic to my auctions at the same time! I'm sure anybody out there making a serious go at selling on eBay knows you certainly can't turn to message boards to promote your crap, so you might as well give CreatureCantina.com your hard-earned $15. It worked for me, it can work for you! Thanks CC.com, you really do suck... err, you know what I mean."

Facing the certain disbanding of the group as a result of this financial mismanagement, the members responded. They banded together and threw their collections up on eBay. Now you can reap the benefits of all these awesome Star Wars collectibles listed at rock-bottom opening bids with NO RESERVES!!

And there's some cool stuff to be had! What would you say to this awesome German Chess set? How about a Jorg Sacul? Hell... what about some original artwork from Bill Cable's "The Cantina" comic strip? What would you say to a box of "Young Jedi" CCG commons???!!!! You can view ALL these auctions RIGHT HERE.

Hiya Gang!

I want to thank those of you who have joined the group. To those who haven't, I hope prehaps this email will help to encourage you to do so. I know you guys really may not feel that you "need" this group but I want to try and explain the difference between this group and Bill's PSWCS. I figure we'll run this group in a similar fashion to the other, but with a few important differences. ... I wont freak out if an OT topic goes on for a while, as some do in PSWCS. Talk about SW, or whatever you wish, without fear of others receiving preferential treatment, without being asked to end any specific thread, without being mocked or insulted.

If anyone has any suggestions for the group, feel free to let me know, ok guys? I see the PSWCS as Bill's and Ed's group, which they allow others to participate in. I want this group to be OUR group, not Nikki's group. :)

I am not trying to attack them or that group, but I know that there seems to be different rules for some people of the group. I also see it as more of a "dictatorship", run my a couple of egomanical people, who otherwise I am sure are nice, decent people, but when in a position to be incharge, allow it to go to their heads. This will never occur in our group.

~Nikki~

Isn't that special? The perfect PA Star Wars club, free of the evil influence of egomaniacal dictators such as Ed Lee and myself. It's going to be a fuzzy, warm utopia where EVERYONE is treated equal. That's proven by the following post...

Ed,

YOU aren't welcome! Why should you be? So you can run this group too? Grow up! How old are you? You are behaving like you're 12 at the most! I wouldn't have removed you if I didn't KNOW you were doing it to pull this nonsense! GROW UP!

~Nikki~

This message was posted in response to a polite, on-topic message Ed sent to the list after joining. "Nikki" sent this message out just before banning him and restricting membership to the mailing list.

How can one join this fantastic alternative to the Pennsylvania collecting club in which Bill Cable is a member? You can join right here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pswcc/

You'd think a club such as this would be unprecedented, but it's not. No... this is the SECOND "I Hate Bill Cable" Collecting Club. The first one can be found here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/swrt/

That group had almost 50 members when it started... after the founder subscribed them all through Yahoo without their consent or knowledge. I joined voluntarily and was, of course, banned immediately. Of course nobody has posted there in 3 months. I think it's a perfect time to infuse new blood! Just remember to mention that you hate Bill Cable and you'll be a hit!! Actually, I think I found a fantastic candidate to join both clubs! Check out this guy over at the BHC forums:

So then I'm left to bask in this little note. While not an official cease & desist order, it is the first demand I've received to remove content from my site. It's from our little friend ~Nikki~, the administrator of the 2nd official "I Hate Bill Cable Club." I actually debated whether or not to publish this... I'm beginning to think she likes the publicity. But the few people I shared it with insisted it was newsworthy. Needless to say this will likely be the last mention I make of this woman on this site. So here you have it:

Bill,

I'll ask this one time: please remove ANY and ALL mention of me and/or the PSWCC from your creaturecantina.com website immediately.

Ok, that was per the instructions of an attorney from the law offices where my husband is employed.

Now for what I want to say. You need to start acting your age, Bill! You attack me for NO reason, and have done so even though I haven't had ANY communication with you or your group! Are you that bored that you have nothing else in your life to do than to obssess over me??? Seems that way to me and many other people who are members of YOUR egroup! One thing you don't know about me is that you don't wanna play games with me, because I don't play fairly! Enough said!

So, grow up, and leave me alone. Find some other person to stalk!

~Nikki~

Woohoo! And she doesn't play fair. How special. I feel tingly all over.

From: Corporate Offices
To: Wal-Mart Toy Department Manager
Subject: Status of shelf settings and layout

With the recent down-turn in the economy and consumer confidence waning, the following policies will be implemented in the toy department.

In an effort to make our stores appear as though they are well stocked with merchandise, it has been decided that top sellers in the toy department such as Star Wars, GI Joe, Dragonball Z and Power Rangers brand toys should be stocked on all available pegs.

To that end, expect your stores to receive over the next two weeks case assortments from those lines that are two months old. Since the general toy buying public will already have these toys your stock shouldn't move thus giving the impression to customers of a well stocked department. Since these older assortments are already paid for and are in our distribution chain, no additional revenue will need to be spent.

DVD releases of Spider-Man, Lord of the Rings and the upcoming theatrical release of the next Harry Potter movie will increase demand for the supporting toy lines. In order to decrease a run on your department, please see to it that any new stock for these lines is left laying about the floor, stocked in the wrong isle and/or "misplaced" in the stock room. A figure isle in shambles will give the impression of high-volume sales without denting your inventory.

Toy lines such as GI Joe and Star Wars continue to give us exclusive items available at no other stores. Feel free to over-order these exclusives so that they take up the space that newer toys would demand. This will allow you to cut down on new orders while being able to tell the public that you have something no other store has. And when these items don't sell it will further the appearance of a well stocked department.

On a local basis if you come up with any other policies along these lines that will help reduce your operating costs while appearing to the public that you are providing them with what they need, please list them on the corporate web site so that others may benefit from your wisdom.