• E1 C-3PO - $34.99
• E1 Anakin Pilot - $12.95
• E1 Soft Good Obi-Wan - $20
• E1 Swimming Jar Jar - $0.05
• E1 1st-Gen Darth Maul with pink chin - $750 (RARE VARIANT!)

See, I need to plug this auction:

http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=577226806

It's for Jason Coulston, who seems to be auctioning off a lot these days. So Jason E-mails and says he wants to buy an ad; I'm all giddy; then he sends the link. I open it, take a look, then just say, "man, I'm so screwed." See he's auctioning this 20-back special-offer Stormtrooper, which is all good, but he starts the bidding at ONE HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS!!! You don't start an eBay auction with an opening bid of $150, even on choice merch like this... you start at a dollar. People avoid auctions with high opening bids LIKE THE PLAGUE, unless it's a Rocket Fett or some shit. Hello??? Did you skip eBay 101 or something??? when you start the bidding that high, you're just begging to get raped. I mean a mere 3 days ago, I got a 21-back C-3PO for cheap as hell because the seller started the bidding too high, and I only needed to out-snipe one gimp.

Here's the new link:

http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=578984211

You're not imagining things... yes, someone paid over a grand for a 12-back Leia. But this Leia was EXTREMELY special, because it's sealed in a plastic box! A plastic box I say!!

The reaction to this auction has been both varied and intense. Elite vintage collector Ron Salvatore commented: "I'd only pay that for crack, or maybe some young whores."

Cleaning staffer Lester Ludd explained, "I was diluting a capful of 'Greased Lightning' in a bucket of water to clean up this greasy spill in the lunch room. I turned around, and it must have been a rat knocked that bottle over and it splashed all over this computer. It started shooting sparks and flaming... reminded me something out of a movie. I've never seen a stronger reaction to a cleaning product. I told those guys not to put them computers in the janitor closet."

A spokesman for A&M Cleaning Products, the manufacturers of Greased Lightning, issued a press release stating, "Though we express regret for the downtime Rebelscum.com is claiming, we feel this further proves our position that 'Greased Lightning' is the best product on the market to wipe out scum. Soap scum, rebel scum, any kind of scum you may have, if you use 'Greased Lightning' it'll disappear."

Collectors were stunned earlier this month when the "exclusive" figure started showing up in full cases at their local Toys R Us stores, at the clearance price of $1.97. It was a gratifying turn of events for those collectors who love Star Wars, but can't justify subscribing to the fanboy rag. However, all was not well; in order to acquire the laminated pass, you still must order from the Fan Club.

In order to honor the special status that collectors must have achieved to get this pass in their possession, an independent panel of experts has decided to change the name of the Wuher "backstage pass" to the Wuher "idiot badge." Think about it... if you have one of these badges in your collection, there's no question about where you got your Wuher. POTF2 fanatic Andrew McGinski told CreatureCantina.com: "I bought four of these Wuher figures from the Fan Club, knowing how valuable they would be on eBay in a couple months. Boy, do I feel like an idiot."

Similarly, PSWCS member Brad Klup stated, "Now every time I go to someone's house for a meeting, I can look around and count the number of Wuher badges there are. And I can think to myself, 'THREE BADGES??? What an idiot!'" When asked how many badges Klup had in his own collection, he stated, "Come on now... what do I look like to you, an idiot?"

1. We don't get any hits Sundays (despite the regular updates)
2. We get a whole lot of hits on Wednesdays (despite the regular updates)

I went on-line to order the Fan Club Carbon Freeze Chamber. I found that you need to be an on-line member. I've been in the FC for years, but I never signed up on-line. You'd think it would be quick and painless to sign up, but NOOOOO!! This is the actual text of the support E-mail I received on how to sign up:

Here's how you register on our new site:

Step 1: First, go to our website at swfan.wizards.com

Step 2: Registering on the website.
You do this by clicking on the link to 'Create an Account' located in the greeting paragraph. This will take you to our 'New Shopper' area. Once here, you can enter your email address and create a password of your choosing (be sure to pick something easy to remember). Once this is done you are logged onto the site.

Important! You will notice that the site does not identify you as a 'member' at this stage - Don't be alarmed, this is normal.

The site does not distinguish between non-members and members unless we tell it to. Bear in mind that non-members can log into our site and purchase items - they just don't get the member benefits of lower prices and shipping etc.

Step 3: Getting recognized as a member.
Once you've registered, you must be 'activated' as a member on the site; call us on 1-800-TRUE-FAN or send us an email including your name, address and log-on email. Once we have activated you, Watto will recognize you as a member on future visits.

Hope this helps. Any problems? Contact us on 1-800-TRUE-FAN to speak to a representative.

Though still several years away, the Republican party are preparing its candidate for a brutal battle for the coveted New York Senatorial seat currently occupied by Hilliary Clinton. In what insiders consider a mild surprise, the Republicans have tapped Naboo native Jar Jar Binks to undertake the task at which Rick Lazio so badly failed in 2000. Jar Jar is currently serving as the Senator from the planet Naboo in the Galactic Senate, but will forego reelection in that post to attempt a run at governing in the United States Congress.

In an official press release, the Republican Party revealed their strategy, commenting: "We wanted to select a candidate that reflects the intelligence of an electorate that would put Hilliary Clinton into power. We felt Senator Jar Jar Binks (G - Naboo) perfectly fit that mold."

Republican spokesman Rod Stanley fielded questions from reporters. When asked about Jar Jar's non-earthling status, he noted, "There's not law that requires Senators be native-born Americans, only naturalized citizens. And though Jar Jar currently resides in a galaxy far, far away, he has begun looking at Albany-area real estate in order to establish residency in the state of New York. If things go well, Jar Jar will have been a New York resident a full two years longer than Ms. Clinton was when she was elected to office."

Stanley continued, "It's not about who's been an American longest, or who has the most distinguished education... it's about who will represent the people of New York the best. Jar Jar Binks has shown his deep caring for people on numerous occasions, one time lamenting, 'Yousa means peoples gonna die?' He really does care about our children. He also has a distinguished military career, and has server honorably in the Galactic Senate. He brings much more to the table than Ms. Clinton did when she got this job."

Political analysts are split on whether Jar Jar stands a chance against Clinton. Chris Matthers observed, "The people of New York have shown a willingness to accept leaders who had never visited their state before deciding to run for office, so I can't see how his alien status can hurt him. He leans to the left on environmental issues, which is sure to appeal to New York voters. And his minority status will resonate with the urban minorities across the state. I just wonder if his service on the Galactic Senate for Naboo has prepared him for a ruthless political campaign. And he'll have a tough time getting beyond the 'idiot' stereotype that plagues him."

Anne Krychick stated, "This thing doesn't have a chance! Honor? Honesty? Dedication? They have no place in New York politics! Does this Jar Jar know what it takes to increase the Wellfare roles in New York? Can he force through a prescription drug plan or a tax hike to fund new government programs? We don't even know if his species is born or hatched, so how do we know what he'll do to preserve a woman's right to have an abortion?"

OK... so several months ago, a list of character names from E2 popped up on the Internet. Those names were derided, mocked, and dismissed. A month later, 3 scans of weapons from E2 (2 lightsabers and a blaster) were posted on CSW. These scans were rejected out-of-hand because the font on the page was a Trek font. Well, these things did not sit well with the Gooney Bird. The Gooney Bird finds your lack of faith disturbing! So to prove ONCE AND FOR ALL that the information you have received so far is legit, the big GB is submitting PROOF POSITIVE that the scans and names are real. How is he doing it? By revealing the RealScan image of the most critical character in E2. Shak-Ti is rumored to be the "Sneak Preview" action figure we'll be seeing this winter. Well, here's your chance to SEE IT FIRST. There will be no doubts when you gaze upon this image... CreatureCantina.com is proud to present: Shak-Ti!

76KB

END SPOILERS!!!

The really Real REAL Shak-Ti!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-13-01 11:01am
Last week an astute CreatureCantina.com reader was looking at my scan of Shak-Ti (see story below). On close examination, she saw a striking resemblance to an image she had seen before. It looks as if Mr. Lucas has introduced us to Shak-Ti before!! So if you want to see the REAL Shak-Ti (seriously)... the character believed to be the "Sneak Preview" figure for E2... CLICK HERE!!!

STAND BACK... Greedo's Pissed!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-13-01 11:01am
My comic story arc cruises on towards its stunning conclusion! Make sure you don't miss the latest "The Cantina!"

Comic Arc wraps up!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-20-01 11:01am
The Greeta arc comes to a close in today's "The Cantina" comic strip. It's been a hard, long road, but we finally made it. Now I just need to come up with some more good ideas before next week! But until then, enjoy this week's "The Cantina!"

"In the fourth film, your ass goes down..."
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-20-01 11:01am
Imagine a boxer named Butch is really Obi-Wan Kenobi. Imagine a thug named Jules is really Boba Fett. Imagine Darth Vader as Marsellus Wallace. And that's just the beginning...

I'd just like to recommend this site - PulpPhantom.com. It's the funniest damn Star Wars site on the Web! Errr... well, maybe 2nd-funniest. But be warned, this site is NOT for children. There's rampant profanity! There's ultra-violence! There's random, senseless nudity! And Darth Maul dances!!! So this is not a site for children or other impressionables. But if you're not one of them, check out PulpPhantom.com!

Droids Skiff FINALLY UNVEILED!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-20-01 11:01am
In a stunning revelation, uber-dealer Barkley Hemback of "Phoenix Protagonists" finally revealed a heretofore unseen vintage variation: A Skiff in Droids packaging. For years the Droids Skiff was believed to be an internal packaging sample never put into production. For almost as many years Hemback has claimed he owned one. He explains, "I actually bought this off the shelves in 1985... I never realized just how rare it was until everybody told me it didn't exist. I was going to prove them wrong, but then I figured I could write a book and show the pictures in there first and make some money. You can't rely on millionaire Star Wars chicks for everything, you know."

"Did I mention that I was 'Kyle Katarn?' Those cut scenes in 'Dark Forces 2: Jedi Knight' - all me."

After his exclusive book deal fell through, Hemback decided to reveal his treasured item. "The time was right, you know?" Hemback reveals. "It was time to let the world know that I was telling the truth and not just lying. I work really hard to turn up all sorts of rare and super-expensive toys, and I need to get my props. Plus, I have a huge lightsaber. It's longer than my forearm!"

CreatureCantina.com is proud to reveal the first photos of the only confirmed Droids Skiff:

Amazing 12" Vintage set on eBay!!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-20-01 11:31am
You want to know the true sign of someone who doesn't have a frickin' clue what's they're doing on eBay? It's when they try to auction a really valuable collection AS A SET instead of in individual auctions! Take this yahoo here:

But hey, it ain't my collection to sell, it's just my auction to promote. Even if you don't have piles of money sitting around with nothing better to do than spend it, it's worth the visit. A 12" vintage set is a toughie to complete, so be sure to check it out!

Short update = OPPORTUNITY!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-27-01 9:01am
You know, some of you might click on CC.com today, see a one story and 3 new headlines and think, "This sucks!" Well, you should look at it another way... the lack of a lot of content gives you EXTRA TIME to check out the other links on the site! Have you looked at the Cable Art Gallery lately? Have you visited OSWCC or PSWCS down there on the right? How about KennerToys or 12-back? Great sites there!! Or you could read our 3-month-old letters column (we promise Scott's working on an update... he's still settling in from moving). Or best of all, you could send up your very own News Stories!! So when life gives you lemons, make some lemonade!

It never fails... your Wednesday comic strip!
Posted by: Bill Cable 6-27-01 9:01am
It's going to be a sparse update this week, due to numerous staff vacations. However, it wouldn't be a Wednesday without your regular edition of "The Cantina!"

Speaking of comics... The Phantom Edit conspiracy!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-4-01 10:01am
Fox Trot is an awesome comic strip. It includes more Star Wars culture than pretty much anything else out there (except maybe "The Cantina!!"). A strip from earlier this week was a real gem. Enjoy it here. We could only be so lucky...

First fan idea for "The Cantina" sees print!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-4-01 10:01am
The idea for this week's "The Cantina" comic strip was submitted by faithful reader Harry Portman. This is the first fan-submitted idea to see print! I need to apologize to Harry, as I pretty much butchered his script... and used different characters... and changed the ending a bit... But it's still exactly as he envisioned it I'm sure!! So go read today's "The Cantina!" If you'd like your comic ideas to receive the same sort of editorial courtesy I've shown Harry, E-mail them to me.

Tell me I don't know eBay...
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-4-01 10:01am
You know, I think I should change my name... to Cleo. Because I KNOW what the future holds, mon! Two weeks ago I'm given the task of promoting an eBay auction I knew wouldn't come close to reserve... Coulston's 12" set. That's too much cashola for anyone to drop all at once. So I tell the guy, "I'll plug your auctions again when you list them separately on eBay in two weeks." So what happens? Here's what happens:

Twelve separate auctions. Granted, he's still using reserves (gutless), but a lot of them are already met! So his reserve prices are very fair. The gem of the lot is the MIMB IG-88... something that you just don't ever see... extremely rare and cool! OK, that's enough whoring for now. E-mail me now and I'll tell you what your future holds!

SirSteve to change DN!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-4-01 10:01am
For immediate release: St. Louis, MO. SirSteve's Web Site has recently learned there is some confusion over the identity of site founder SirSteve. To help clear up this confusion, SirSteve's site is changing domain names effective immediately. The new domain name will be SirSteveSansweetsGuide.com. We hope this move will clear up any misconceptions or confusion which our founder's name and the name of Steve Sansweet may cause.

Steve Sansweet IS NOT SirSteve!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-4-01 10:01am
In a revelation that stunned the mostly ignorant POTF2/E1/POTJ collecting community, CreatureCantina.com reports that esteemed collector and LucasFilm fanboy liaison Steve Sansweet is not website founder SirSteve. They are, in fact, two completely different people. Two different guys. They probably haven't even met. One lives on the left coast, and the other lives with his cousin in an apartment in Florida.

So there you have it... confirmed and undeniable... Steve Sansweet and SirSteve are different people.

The comics keep on rolling
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-11-01 11:01am
Did you ever get to the point where there's no interesting new way to describe a regular feature on your web site? I feel your pain. Read the latest "The Cantina" comic today!

Newcomer Skywalker wins Wimbledon!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-11-01 11:01am
In an unparalleled upset, unranked and unseeded unknown Luke Skywalker humiliated 3rd-seed Patrick Rafter, vanquishing him in straight sets 6-2, 6-0, 6-0. Never in the history of the sport has a complete unknown run the table at a Grand Slam event, nor has anyone, anywhere dominated the field in this manner. Skywalker looked as if he could do no wrong, serving up a tournament record 336 aces, dwarfing the previous Wimbledon record of 206.
Click here for full story...

Administrative Assistant Sought
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-11-01 11:01am
Major company seeking qualified candidates for long-term position (for your sake you'd better hope it's long-term). For complete details, check Headhunter.net.

...A slight malfunction
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-18-01 8:31am
Look for your regularly-scheduled CC.com update THURSDAY evening. Sorry for the delay. But hey - it happens.

Just for the record...
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-19-01 7:31pm
I don't have clue one what this next story has to do with Star Wars. But hey, it's Nimrod...

A day late, but worth the wait!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-19-01 7:31pm
OK, so pretend it's really yesterday (or prolly 2 days ago if you're looking at this Friday morning). It's your weekly dose of "The Cantina" comic strip! Enjoy, Eric!!

CSW.com POST OF THE WEEK!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-19-01 7:31pm
OK, so we don't have our own discussion forums (I think the 6 or 7 out there cover things nicely enough), so we figured we'd steal quotes from other sites and post them here. Here's our favorite quote from over at CSW:

Read the entire thread here.

Brand New Art!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-19-01 7:31pm
Sorry about the delay folks. Just had a bit of a medical situation, but it was handled very successfully.

But anyways... I'm proud to announce that TWO new drawings have been added to the Cable Original Art Gallery. Not only that, but I went ahead an completely redesigned the gallery. Now it should load up almost instantly even if you're running at 56K. As a result, no more mouseover thumbs. But I think it'll be worth it for most viewers. I'm still tweaking the design, but this is mostly what it'll look like when done. Without further ado, the Cable Original Art Gallery...

Your weekly dose of joy...
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-25-01 11:01am
After all that work on the ComiCon, it's amazing that I was able to put together this week's "The Cantina" comic strip. This one goes out to all you coke heads!

Exclusive ComiCon Coverage!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 7-25-01 11:01am
We're proud to present our EXTENSIVE coverage of the east of San Diego ComiCon in Hershey, PA. This is the event every Star Wars fan and comic book collector across the country has been waiting for, and CreatureCantina.com brings you the coverage.

Finally, the fruits of my labors... a couple of signed collectibles. I had a GREAT time at the event... many thanks to Michonne, Mercedes and the 501st!

I love fan-submitted comic ideas!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-1-01 10:01am
You know, I try to be funny. It's hard to generate it on a weekly basis. So I'm lucky to have this Portman fellow that keeps sending me ideas for the strip. So every once in a while I can rest my brain without getting in trouble. Here's another great "The Cantina" comic strip!

New Feature: Cantina Celebrities!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-1-01 10:01am
What started as a joke has evolved into a mission... and we're proud to present our new feature: "Cantina Celebrities!!" We're looking for photos like these:

I have a line on some photos for GenCon this weekend. But I want the ALL!! So if you're going to be seeing some SW celebs, make sure you put together a sign and take some photos. We all want to see what the cast and crew of Star Wars thinks of our site! E-mail me for more details!

And just in case you're about sick of The Clones...
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-8-01 10:01am
...here is your weekly dose of THE ORIGINAL! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about! That's right... this week's "The Cantina" comic strip!

Celebrities from GenCon!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-8-01 10:01am
The quest to get them all continues... Here are two photos from GenCon this past weekend. I was REALLY hoping for Billy D., but his "people" wouldn't let him hold up the sign. Thanks to Bill Byers for his efforts!

LucasFilm Reveals E2 Teaser Poster!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-8-01 10:01am
As you already know, LucasFilm announced the title for E2 earlier this week: Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones! Not that anyone cares what I think, but I like the title. After a lot of diligent arm-twisting and blackmail, I have been able to secure as a CreatureCantina.com EXCLUSIVE the first image of the E2 Teaser Poster. Similar to the Vader Shadow poster that first introduced Episode 1, this bold image genuinely captures the spirit of the new film. CreatureCantina.com is proud to present...

We proudly present a new Cable Original
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-15-01 10:31am
Be sure to check out the Cable Original Art Gallery for my latest drawing. Also, check out the "Reserved" and "Requested" lists as there have been a few modifications. Enjoy!!!

Another Comic... Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-15-01 10:31am
I do a comic every week. Some are funnier than others. Now, I don't want to get anybody's hopes up here, but I think this one is particularly good. Enjoy the latest "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

Happy Birthday PSWCS!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-15-01 10:31am
A year ago this week, 9 dedicated Star Wars collectors gathered at the West Shore library in Camp Hill, PA. On that day, the Pennsylvania Star Wars Collecting Society was born. We played a few games and talked about the hobby. We shared some of our collectibles. I knew when Andy Loney pulled out his carded Jessica Meade for show-and- tell that this was the start of something special.

PS: Yeah, this article ain't funny. This week's comic will make up for that...

It's comic time!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-22-01 10:31am
A big thanks goes to Max Miller for the inspiration for today's comic. I changed it around a little, but he gave the the essence. I hope you enjoy this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

38 die in horrific hiking mishap
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-22-01 10:31am
TETON COUNTY, Wyo. -- The nation mourned after authorities found the remains of 38 people on Table Mountain. The grizzly discovery ended two weeks of searches after an anonymous tipster alerted police that there was need of a helicopter rescue. The victims, all men between the ages of 19 to 31, exhibited various injuries including burns, lacerations, and fractures. At least seven seemed to have died from dehydration.

The identities of the men have not yet been released until authorities can contact their families. Harrison Ford could not be reached for comment. A note scratched into the trunk of a pine tree revealed the most tragic part of this sad event. It read, "All we wanted to do was meet Han."

This week's comic sucks!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-29-01 10:31am
Hey guys... I need to apologize in advance... I had to use a different scanner for my strip this week. I thought it would be fine, but some setting was screwed up, and it didn't turn out all that good. Even when I was coloring it I was hoping it would turn out fine, but the finished product just isn't up to par. So the characters don't look quite as good as they should. But it's still damn funny, so go look at it anyway. I'll be sure to fix the problem before the next "The Cantina" Comic Strip!

Latest "Code Red" virus strikes Deathstar!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-29-01 10:31am
The latest version of the rampant "Code Red" virus infected the Death Star data network, causing wide-spread system failures. "Code Red" had previously only been infecting Web servers or computers running Windows 2000 or NT, so its leap to the alien binary coding of the proprietary hardware that makes up the Death Star system was totally unexpected.

Adders felt the situation was quickly coming under control. He commented, "When you have a system where turning off any 1 of 7 power conduits ends up totally disabling every major system, it's pretty easy to isolate a problem."

We FINALLY get another piece of ASS!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 8-29-01 12:01am
We're thrilled to announce the triumphant return of our letters column - Ask Scott Something! A gargantuan FIVE MONTHS in the making, Scott is finally ready to tackle the tough issues and life-changing questions that we as collectors face every day. See, originally Scott was going to do regular updates. But then the severance pay evaporated, unemployment checks ran out, the economy bombed, and he had to move to North Carolina and start a new life. Now that he's finally settled in, he's committed to monthly updates. So be sure to SEND IN THOSE QUESTIONS, and fasten your sea belt for the latest edition of Ask Scott Something!!!

Damnit.
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-5-01 12:01am
Hello loyal fans! I just lost everything on my HD at work. That includes everything I had for this week's update. So unfortunately, there won't be an update this week. If I can get my PC back up and running after I throw it out a f%$#ing window, there'll be a GREAT update next week. Sorry for ruining your Wednesday.

Looks like I ain't the only comic artist...
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-12-01 12:01am
So "The Cantina" isn't the only Star Wars comic strip out there, huh? Well at least this guy gives me my props. Check out the first edition of "The Real Life Adventures of Stratos!"

The Cantina returns!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-12-01 12:01am
I promised you a new comic every week. Last week, my computer didn't cooperate. But this week we're back! And now that I've broken the promise, I don't have to feel so bad when I slack off during Christmas. Woohoo!! Enjoy this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

The phenomenon gains momentum...
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-12-01 12:01am
If you're a regular reader, you should be familiar with our "CreatureCantina.com SUCKS!" campaign. We're trying to get as many SW Celebs as possible to hold up our sing and have a photo taken. Well, we've received a new celebrity submission! Check this one out... good, it is!!

Your greatest fears confirmed - YELLOW POTF2 BUBBLES!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-12-01 12:01am
CreatureCantina.com EXCLUSIVE!!! Everyone here knows that yellow bubbles are a problem for vintage Star Wars collectors. Lots of POTF and ROTJ figures have those ugly, urine-colored bubbles from years of oxidation and other chemical reactions in the plastic. This can often be exacerbated by exposure to sun or fluorescent lighting, but there have been instances where factory-sealed cases were open in the mid-90s only to find a dozen yellow-bubbled Waroks.

POTF2 collectors thought themselves immune to this problem. Surely plastics have improved in the 10 years between the Droids and Ewoks line and POTF2. Well, we're here to tell you today that THEY HAVEN'T!! Here today is the first ever evidence of a yellow-bubbled POTF2 figure! From the collection of Matthew Prokop comes this yellow-bubbled Luke Dagobah! Click for a larger image.

This is NOT a joke! This is a real YB POTF2 figure! It was stored in darkness, in a cool dry room, right next to the CB C-3PO. The discoloration is not due to smoking or other environmental factors... the plastic has yellowed!! It's the same thing that has happened to thousands of vintage bubbles, but this time it's a figure that was made since 1995!!

So cringe in fear, all you MOC new-era collectors!! The scourge of yellow bubbles that has haunted vintage collectors for years is coming to get you! You can't prevent it! You can't reverse it! All you can do is pray that your figure isn't the next victim!! We're all doomed!! DOOMED!!! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because we know you need a laugh...
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-12-01 12:01am
After the terrorist attacks yesterday, I was torn whether to put up this week's update or not. I agonized over the decision for a long time. After talking to my wife about it, it seemed like the right thing to do. We shouldn't allow these terrorists run our lives, so the best course of action is business as usual. And after yesterday, about the best thing I can do is help some folks have a good laugh. So without further ado, we're proud to present this weeks CreatureCantina.com update!!!

And finally... If you can't whore for yourself...
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-19-01 12:01am
So I upgraded my ESB47 Removable Limbs C-3PO a couple weeks ago. Got a nice, UP, CB example... really sweet shape. And you know what happens when you upgrade... you have your old one to get rid of! I tried offering it to PSWCS and OSWCC, but there were no takers... so my site here's the next step before eBay. I'm only looking to make back what I originally paid for this one... $75 shipped.

This 3PO is in pretty nice shape... not C10, but no major flaws:

• bubble slightly yellow, otherwise flawless.
• Several minor flaws on the card including:
  • 2 "spider" creases on the bottom edge ... one 1/2" only visible on the front, one 1" visible on front & back.
  • 1 3/4" spider crease on the right side visible only on the front.
  • 1 2" bend/spider crease on the left side... a bend on the front, a spider crease on the back.
  • 2 tiny white specs to the left of the punch.
  • it looks like someone pulled up a price tag in the top right corner... there are minor finger nail dents in the card, and a few tiny white specs.
  • punched cleanly.
  • minor edgewear and wear around the punch.

I'm very tough at grading, and most of these flaws wouldn't even be mentioned by your average seller. Basically it's a nice carded figure with some minor flaws.

E-mail me at cable@creaturecantina.com if you're interested!

New art in the Cable Gallery!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-19-01 12:01am
Looks like this week's update is all-Cable, all the time! Lucky I had some good stuff to share. Speaking of good stuff... how about that new drawing over at my "Cable Original" gallery?? Ain't it cool?? Don't I deserve all sorts of praises heaped upon me?? Isn't it the best thing you've ever seen inked on paper?? Man... if I wasn't so humble I'd think I deserved lots of congratulatory E-mails and stuff for this drawing. At the very least, I hope you enjoy it!

Yoda dominates in "Iron Chef" debut!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-19-01 12:01am
The world of cooking was set on its ear this past weekend after an impressive victory by budding culinary master Yoda on Food Network's cult hit "Iron Chef." "Iron Chef" is a Japanese television show where two chefs face-off in a 1-hour cooking battle. Chairman Kaga chooses a "theme ingredient" for each match, and the chef that best expresses that ingredient in his dishes wins the contest. In an unprecedented move, Yoda was able to defeat Masaharu Morimoto with a single dish - Foie Gras porridge.

"A difficult battle this was... no fan of goose liver am I," reflected Yoda after his stunning victory. He scored a perfect 20 with all 4 tasters, placing him among the elite in "Iron Chef's" distinguished list of challengers.

The tasters reacted emphatically to chef Yoda's porridge dish. "This is amazing... I've never tasted such an excellent foie gras dish in my life," commented Asako Kishi - noted food critic. Actress Chizuru Azuma concurred, noting, "the peace and balance of this dish pleases me deeply... very good." Photographer Tenmei Kano summarized their thoughts most eloquently stating, "Like this I do... good porridge this is... a perfect score I will give, yes."

Iron Chef Morimoto was not so impressed as the tasters... "His porridge tasted like dirt!" he exclaimed. "All he did was mix mud and foie gras in a dish and boiled it for an hour. You cannot imagine how upset I am right now. A master chef... beaten by a bowl of mud!!"

Wednesday comic... created with love!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-19-01 12:01am
This week's comic is special. Why is it special? Because my wife gave me the idea. Awwww... isn't that just precious? So I hope you enjoy "Lady's Night" at "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

Why post content when you can use bribes?
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-19-01 12:01am
Hello fellow Star Wars junkies! You know, I was thinking... why even bother posting fresh humorous content here every week, when we can just bribe you suckers to keep coming back?? And what the hell... might as well get you guys to write new stories while we're at it!! So CreatureCantina.com is proud to announce our first ever contest!! I'm looking for a couple good comic strip ideas.

Essential Comics - the Web's BEST, COOLEST, MOST AWESOME on-line comic book store has donated a couple DVDs for me to give away. The BEST idea will not only see print on 9/26/01, it will win you a brand new copy of "What Lies Beneath," starring our very own Han Solo! (winner must be 18 or older). Also, we will randomly draw one entry to win a brand new copy of "Space Cowboys," starring Tommy Lee Jones, who tried to shoot our very own Han Solo!

To enter, simply E-mail your comic idea to newstips@creaturecantina.com, along with your name and birth date. The entry deadline is 9/29/01 at 12:00am EST.

So send in those entries! And check out Essential Comics - any store gullible enough to give us free crap is certain to offer AMAZING DEALS on all your Star Wars and comic book needs!!

The Earth Toy Shop finally sells coveted hummer.
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-26-01 12:01am
When the employees at "The Earth" needed to raise some cash, they though, "what could be easier to sell than a hummer?" With a clientele that's nearly 97% male, an exciting thing like a hummer seemed a sure sell. But with an initial asking price of $125,000, takers were few and far between.

Store employee Joe Yunger was shocked by the lack of interest. "We're talking about a HUMMER here! Not just any hummer... but a Star Wars hummer... delivered by the nice girls here at the Earth! I mean... Dave Prowse enjoyed this same hummer the last time he was in town. Jeremy Bulloch had an amazing time with it too. Even Kenny Baker joined in the fun! I can't understand why we didn't get dozens of offers to pay for a hummer from us."

Regular Earth customer Peter North described his own impressions of what was being offered. "I was there when they first gave the hummer to Dave Prowse, and he really seemed to get a kick out of it. Just looking at the power and intensity of that thing... I mean you know it's going to make your toes curl. It's the best hummer I've ever seen. But for $125,000? I'll have to pass."

After many months of trying to lure in a customer, The Earth finally just put it up on eBay. "What we really needed was a national audience for this hummer," Yunger explained. "Cincinnati has some of the best Star Wars fans in the country, but everyone knows the real marketplace for high-end hummers is the Internet." Their strategy worked, and it sold several months ago. The fine ladies at the Earth were more than happy to give the winning bidder the best hummer imaginable.

It's the comic you've been waiting for!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-26-01 12:01am
Yes folks... here again your weekly installment of "The Cantina." This week's comic is dedicated to the good folks of the fighting 501st, Eastern Squad! They regularly don their stormtrooper armor and do charity work... a very noble crusade indeed. Check them out, after you check out "The Cantina" comic strip!!!

FREE DVD Contest - Enter Now!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 9-26-01 12:01am
We're in the home stretch on our Free DVD contest, which is sponsored by Essential Comics. Entries are due Saturday. All you have to do to enter is send in an idea for "The Cantina" comic strip. Please enter. Please! You don't realize how out of ideas I am. I mean look at this week's comic! I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here! I need your help!!! If holding a free DVD under your nose isn't enough, then I don't know what is!!!

Click here for complete rules and details.

DVD Contest Winners Revealed!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-3-01 12:01am
OK... I begged for two weeks for somebody... anybody to send in some ideas for my comic strip. And anybody did!! I'm happy to announce the winners of our contest...

The winner for BEST comic strip idea goes to... Bryan Borgman!!! He wins the "What Lies Beneath" DVD. And he and everybody else gets to see his idea in print in this week's "The Cantina" comic strip!!!!

The random winner from the rest of the entries was regular comic idea contributor Harry Portman. Harry gets the "Space Cowboys" DVD. Harry has earned his stripes by submitting numerous ideas for comics to me (several of which have been used), so it was nice to see him win the random drawing.

So that's it for our contest. You'll be seeing some of the other ideas submitted in future "The Cantina" comics. A big thanks again to Essential Comics for sponsoring this give-away. Check them out for great prices on pre-ordered cases of POTJ and many other toys!

And no, I didn't forget...
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-10-01 12:01am
OK, so maybe Darth Paul deserves a little bit of credit for this week's update... If I'm not mistaken, he's the guy that gave me the idea for this week's "The Cantina" comic strip!!!

Entertainment Scalp Interview
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-10-01 12:01am
The Jabba has posted an interview with Jason Laboscalpawitz of Entertainment Scalp. It is very informative interview and answers a few questions concerning Entertainment Scalp and what they do for the collecting community. Some of their highlighted services include suggestions on what to do with empty wallets, and pointers on how best to drop your trousers and grab your ankles. You don't have to suffer that nasty quad pull ever again! Click here to read it.

CreatureCantina.com CONQUERS THE GLOBE!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-10-01 12:01am
The "CreatureCantina.com Sucks!" phenomenon just keeps growing and growing. First it was celebrities. Then it was statues. Now, our greatest triumph yet... CreatureCantina.com Sucks AROUND THE WORLD! To kick it off... take a gander at this puppy:

Get a load of that, baby! How many other sites have the balls to START their globe-trotting with freekin' Antarctica??? The land where Wampa fear to tread? That's just damn cool, if you ask me. Now that we got the tough continent down, the rest should be a cakewalk.

Fresh meat... sic 'em, Ewoks!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-10-01 12:01am
CreatureCantina.com is happy to introduce our two newest contributors... welcome Darth Paul and Big E!! Big E rolled out in style with the top ten list below. DP premiers in true CC.com fashion... missing his first deadline. But as they say... short help is better than no help. I encourage everyone to send them a quick E-mail about the big mistake they've just made.

It's a big update this week... be sure you read it all!!!

Lastly... and leastly??
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-17-01 12:01am
Somehow it seems like my comic always ends up at the bottom of the update... so far down that everybody who would have read it has already passed out from gut-busting laughter, and thus nobody reads it. But I'm just a selfless kind of guy... I mean, I know Big E worked hard on his article. It deserves to be near the top. And you can't dump the T-shirt give-away or the wedding photos at the bottom of the update. So the only thing left is my comic. Hopefully a lot of people will have continued to read all the way to the bottom of this week's update, so they can enjoy this week's "The Cantina" comic strip!!!

Who wants to be... a shirt-owner???
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-17-01 12:01am
Again the Fighting 501st comes through for CC.com with a great give-away! We're giving away a T-shirt to one lucky reader... their new "Got Armor" shirt! Here are some photos:

All you have to do is submit a joke, gag, poem, or anything at all involving a Stormtrooper. We'll feature the best entries in next week's update, and one random entrant will win a shirt!
Please mail your entry, including your name and mailing address, to: 501st@creaturecantina.com. Thanks for playing!!!

Congratulations Nimrod!!!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-17-01 12:01am
If everything went according to plan Saturday, Nimrod is now a married man. We haven't received the reception photos yet, but we're sure it looked something like this...

You knew it was coming - they made it a religion!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-24-01 12:01am
Ah, those crazy Brits! I know that the original Trilogy was filmed at Leavesden Studio in England, but those guys are really taking ownership of the movie over there to new extremes. So how many Brits does it take to make The Force an official religious deity? Read this article to find out:
http://entertainment.msn.com/news/eonline/101301_jedi.asp

The highlight of your day - this week's Comic Strip!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-24-01 12:01am
Get ready for this weeks journey into the depths of hate that is The Creature Cantina. Good Morning Naboo gives this week's episode 4 stars, explaining that, "this strip isn't afraid to tackle the 'dark side' of this beloved drinking establishment. It will shock and surprise you with its frank and open discussion of pressing issues." Now that I've written an intro that took you about 50 times as long to read as the damn comic will, I might as well just post the link to this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

Give that man a T-shirt!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-24-01 12:01am
In a nice turn of events, the winning entry for the Exclusive Fighting 501st Eastern Squad T-shirt was also the very best entry we received! OK... so maybe it was the only entry we received... but still it's funny as all get-out! Congratulations to Boba Rocks, who proudly presents: "The Stormtrooper Shuffle"

In the vein of the now infamous Chicago bears "Super Bowl Shuffle", here is a hopefully entertaining facsimile.

We are the Stormtroopers, killin' is our game.
We're all dressed in white and we have no names.
Allegiance to the Empire is what we show,
like Vader, we ain't traitors, he's got all the dough!
We're all fighting Rebel Forces for just one cause,
don't we all wanna get in Princess Leia's......PAUSE!
They call us "Shocktroopers" cuz we rock and shock all night,
now it's about time that I pass the mic!

:::beatbox noises done by Darth Vader, dawning gold chain with Death Star medallion:::

Representin' for The Imperial all through the Death Star..
it doesn't even matter who ya are!
Ugnaughts,Death Star Droid, and soldiers of any type.
The "Men in White"have got ya back..so lets get hype!

::::::Death Star Droid does "The Robot" while the mouse droid cuts wheelies:::::

We are the Stormtroopers, killin' is our game.
We're all dressed in white and we have no names.
Allegiance to the Empire is what we ALL show..
Security Breach! Command Center! Aw shhhhh..we gotta go!

WORD!

Imperial Shocktroopers/Stormtroopers
"Stormtrooper Shuffle"
Death Star For Life
Dir: Boba Fett

New Cable Original Art!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-24-01 12:01am
You're probably thinking "It's about time!" Well, I've been busy, you know! But I finally got the time to sit down and work on my latest masterpiece. A No-Prize goes to whoever can figure out who this drawing was for!!!
Cable Original Art Gallery

ACK! What's this thing crawling up my leg????
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-31-01 12:01am
Why... it's THIS WEEK's "THE CANTINA" COMIC STRIP!!!! Run for your lives!!!! AAAAAaaaaggghhhhh!!!!!!

Mace Windu DIES IN AOTC!!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 10-31-01 12:01am
So I was thinking, "Aw crap! It's Halloween, and we don't have any good Halloween stories!" I mean, how lame is that... a comedy site that doesn't have any Halloween gags. So I thought, "What could I possibly post to scare the living sh*t out of everyone?" Then I had an idea. The headline... Boo!

PS: I'm avoiding spoilers, so I don't know... the headline might even be true! I wouldn't know either way. But don't go blaming me for spoiling it if he does get killed! Hell, there'll probably be songs on the soundtrack titled "Mace Windu's Funeral" and "Padme and Ani knocking boots" anyway.

And the nicest way to wrap up your update...
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-7-01 12:01am
Like a scoop of sherbet after your entree... Are you ready for... this week's episode of "The Cantina" comic strip???!!!!

Another new Cable Original!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-7-01 12:01am
I know what you're thinking... "another drawing already???" This one was donated to the PSWCS fund-raising auction. But it's still an official Cable Original (it even fetched the MSRP for one - yayyy PSWCS!). So please feast your eyes on the latest drawing in my "Cable Original" Gallery.

Yes I am a cheap, dirty whore
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-7-01 12:01am
So I got these auctions up on eBay. Since I'm the guy paying the hosting fees, I figure I'm entitled to plug them! Hopefully I'll get a few hits as a result. I'm kinda desperate, because I was really stupid when I listed these. I didn't say "MOC" anywhere on any of these auctions... NOWHERE! STUPID STUPID STUPID! I mean, what a goober mistake! I was all distracted because I was helping one of my buddies list some stuff (his first time). I didn't realize until after I received bids on everything, so I couldn't go in an fix it. I'm so screwed. I ain't gonna draw a single snipe like this. So I gotta pull out the big guns! Here's what I got...

ESB21 Chewbacca (extremely rare cardback):
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1659521691

ROTJ C-3PO (no offer, unpunched):
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1659518498

Droids C-3PO Coin, still sealed on card:
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem=1659512936

They're each pretty nice. I hope you'll check them out!

Comics! We Got Your Comics!
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-14-01 12:01am
You know it's going to be a short update when we lead off with my comic strip post. Let's just pretend this week we're going for quality over quantity. That's the ticket! So please enjoy the latest high-quality edition of "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!

New Episode II Character REVEALED!!!
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-21-01 12:01am
Ok people... this week's update is rather short... I figure with it being Thanksgiving there won't be many people around to see what we post anyway. Plus... I've got a lot going on right now, so I didn't have a whole lot of time to prep. However, the one thing I do have is HUGE news. My contacts have provided me with a photo of a never-before-seen character that will appear in E2... a character which will have huge implications on the plot! CreatureCantina.com is proud to present the new character...
CLICK HERE FOR NEW CHARACTER IMAGES!!!

Christmas in November
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-28-01 12:01am
A lot of times I use other people's ideas for my comic strip. I got that idea off Scott Adams from Dilbert... I read that he just gets a thousand E-mails a day with strip ideas. I have some of my own ideas, but why tax my brain 24-7 when I can leech off my faithful readers?

I received the nicest gift the other day. When Beedo Sookcool found out I became a dad, he put together a whole bunch of strip ideas and sent them to me so I would have more time to spend with the baby. So a big thanks to Beedo. You'll be seeing a lot of his strips over the next few weeks. Among them... this week's "The Cantina" Comic Strip!!!!!!!!!!

World in Uproar over Lucas' Attack of the Clones
Posted by: Bill Cable 11-28-01 12:01am
In a surprising turn of events, researchers at Advanced Cell Technology are putting the blame on Star Wars creator George Lucas for the human clone idea. "Hey, we just followed up on his idea!" stated one researcher involved. The worldwide scientific, political, and religious communities have been in an uproar over the moral, medical, and ethical issues brought up by the announcement over the holiday weekend of the first cloned human embryo. Sen. Sam Brownback, a Kansas Republican who opposes embryonic stem cell research, said he would introduce a bill calling for a 5-year moratorium on all Star Wars movies and merchandise in production to give time for further debate and consideration. Star Wars fans on Internet bulletin boards and chat rooms were quoted as saying "What?" "Huh?" and "Are they kidding?". LucasFilm spokespeople were unable to comment, due to possible legal action. Industry insiders are concerned that Emperor, er....uh, Mr. Lucas will soon dissolve the Senate and assign regional governors to have direct control over territories.