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Baldy Interviews a Bounty Hunter
Posted by: Baldy 02.18.04 12:01am
Howdy Star Wars aficionados! This week CC.com presents a very special one time only, one-on-one exclusive interview with one of THE most elusive bounty hunters in the galaxy! I speak of course of the Trandoshan in Charge, Bossk! For the interview, I will be CC and Bossk ( rather his translator ) will be BT.
CC: Well sir! So very nice of you to let us conduct this interview with you!
BT: Grumble, where's the Tibian Tea you promised me?
CC: Um, its on the way sir.
BT: Damn well better be you louse!
Click here for the rest of the story.
Over-the-top-rope Star Wars savagery!!!!
Posted by: Baldy 02.25.04 12:01am
Welcome everyone, to the galaxy's largest, oldest and most prestigious arena in the cosmos, Madison Quadrangle Gardens and Pawn Shop! This is your announce team, Admiral Ackbar and Salacious Crumb! Guys, take it from here
AA:Evening creatures and beings from all corners and welcome to this months Pay Per View Extravaganza! If you are just tuning in, you have missed a great show and are ready to see our main event! An 8 man over-the-top-rope match! It's a free-for-all and the winner gets to go on to meet the grand champ at the next PPV for the title! Crumb, what do you think is going to happen in this match?
Click here for the rest of the story.
Jobs or professions that Star Wars characters SHOULD have had.
Posted by: Baldy 03.03.04 12:01am
- C3PO should have been an interior decorator.
- R2D2 should have been a trash compactor.
- Han Solo should have been a truck driver.
- Luke Skywalker should have been your friends older brother that went off to college
and "found himself" and is now a hippie and jobless.
- Princess Leia should have been a stripper.
- Admiral Ackbar and Squidhead should have been sushi.
- Nikto, Barada and Klaatu should have been bouncers at your local bar that keeps
getting closed due to health hazards.
- Gargan should have been Martha Stewart.
- Jabba should have been a webmaster for a stupid site that no one reads.
- Boba Fett should have been Barney Fife or any other local law enforcement officer of
the same caliber.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi should have been the Smuckers Jelly rep.
- Darth Vader should have been a high school coach. Talk about a pep talk, sheesh.......
- Chewbacca should have been ANY bearskin rug.
- Ree Yees should have been selling eyeglasses or contacts.
- Lando should have been a pimp. Or is he already? hmmmmm......
- Greedo should have been a pet store clerk.
- All Ewoks should have been shot, stuffed and sold as Cabbage Patch Bears.
- Emperors Royal Guards should have been English Guardsmen. They both just stand
around and look silly, except the English Guards have cooler hats.
- Yoda should have been a Muppet. Oh wait....
- Bib Fortuna should have been a porn star. Come on, what chick don't dig those lekku?
- Dengar should have been the marketing director for Ace Bandages.
- All Biker Scouts should have been NASCAR drivers.
- All Ugnaughts should have been garbagemen.
- Salacious Crumb should have been the organ grinders monkey on a chain.
A little advice you freaks.....
Posted by: Baldy 03.17.04 12:01am
Why is it that people have no clue on an online forum? What actually goes through peoples minds when they type useless drivel and expect NO retaliation? Is it our school system? Is it the lack of parental beatings? TELL ME NOW!!!
I wanted to list some peeves of mine and maybe a way to help new people to the hobby/online forum life so that maybe we can all live in peace. Or not.....
- Don't ask the same question 15 times and word it differently each time. You will be called on it and dealt with accordingly, usually verbal bashings and links to a certain website that we ALL know about.
- When you post a link, make sure it works instead of telling everyone their computer sucks.
- Don't showboat your EVERY purchase on Ebay and then deny it. You will be called out AGAIN.
- Don't link an Ebay auction that is yours and then deny it. John A will call you on it. YOU know who he is, don't lie.
- Don't post pics of yourself flipping off the forum. You will be labeled a psycho and receive so many flame threads, all of your personalities will run home screaming to your momma.
- Don't sneak back onto a forum when you have been banned and use new accounts. John H will bust you on it. And you know HIM too.
- Don't jump on the bandwagon for inside jokes when you have no idea where they came from. *I* will whine and bitch about it until no one uses the joke anymore and there is a collective sigh of relief.
- NEVER, under ANY circumstance out an Ebay auction that is still running. You will be slandered by 173 people all claiming to have been watching that yellowed Snowtrooper that has a BIN of 20 cents.
- Don't ask about the supposed "Inner Circle" as it does NOT exist and you have no proof that it does. Really.
- PRAY you don't get "The Bag" It smells and has been more places than your local cat house girls.
- NEVER talk bad about Canadian SW stuff. You will get a certain individual at your door dressed in a pimp-hat, fur coat and a baseball bat.
- NEVER talk bad to a certain "Frosty" person on SWChat. He will give you the boot until his foot is sore, then pass the torch to someone else and continue this for MONTHS. Trust me, I know.....
- Don't ever tell people you go online to a SW forum. You will remain dateless for years and cry yourself to sleep at night. Or so I am told cause I don't know about that. At all.
- This is THE biggest thing: Don't ever talk trash about C-3PO. The Lord of Goldenrod shall find you, smite you and burn out your retinas. Just ask Banky.
New Foci for Vintage Collectors
Posted by: Baldy 04.07.04 12:01am
Ever notice that the focus collector is on the rise? It doesn't matter if it's a character, playset, cardback or country of origin, EVERYONE is getting into a focus of some sort. Except me, I just traded in my Ford Focus for a Mustang ! Helllloooo midlife crisis ! Anyways, seeing as this is the thing to do nowadays, more and more people are trying to stand out and try something new. For those of you not familiar with a focus QUIT READING NOW. Thank you. Below are some ideas for those of you that want to be different but remain "coo" in the eyes of your fellow collectors.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 04.14.04 12:01am
Hello fellow collectors! This week marks the first in a series of Meet and Greet articles designed to help people get to know the other collectors that frequent our little hobby. This series will basically introduce known, unknown, and all-too-well-known people and what they are like in and out of the hobby.
This week starts with a certain Canadian Collector that hangs out at many online
spots. Follow me through his world.........
Baldy: What is your real name?
CC:Count Chocula! Ah, ah ah! Well it's really Mike but don't write that out please.
Baldy: Where do you live and where are you from?
CC:Toronto, and a galaxy far, far away. (Fanboy alert!)
Baldy: Do you have a website?
CC:Yes, it's www.womprat.com and it is so much better than that crappy www.creaturecantina.com . Whoops....
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 04.21.04 12:01am
Welcome back fellow collectors! This week on Meet and Greet I talk to a collector from Europe! He frequents the Rebelscum boards and also Galactic Hunter. Say hello to Leegray! Lets get going!
BB: What's your name?
LG: Lee
BB: Where do you live?
LG: England ,Berks
BB: Can you wash my car?
LG: Nope.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 05.05.04 12:01am
Hello again and welcome back to another Meet and Greet with a VERY special guest! Unfortunately this collector would not allow me to get a name or place of birth/nationality. But, they were pretty helpful with questions that every collector worth his salt has had for a long, long time. Let me introduce "X", an actual real person and member of the elusive and hidden "Inner Circle".
BB: So, X, who are you really?
X: I am just an average Joe trying to have fun collecting the toys I love.
BB: Yeah, I bet. Really, who are you?
X: We are Borg.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Vintage Myths DEBUNKED!!!
Posted by: Baldy 05.26.04 12:01am
Howdy folks! I know I have been slack beyond words for the last couple of weeks but after my vacation to Hawaii, I really have had no urge to do anything except lounge around the backyard in my Bermuda shorts with a Mai Tai in hand.
Since my interviewee has not responded to me yet, I decided to forego Meet and Greet this week and instead I am doing an editorial about myths in the world of collecting Star Wars toys.
We have all heard some rumors running about certain areas of the Star Wars world and I wanted to go over a few of them here to help people understand a bit better as to what they mean and what they really are.
The first and probably biggest myth in the Vintage Star Wars collecting world is the existence of the Inner Circle. It is supposedly a group of high-end, egomaniacal elitists that hoard all the good stuff that most collectors dream of owning. I have one and only one thing to say about this group: There *is* no Inner Circle.
Secondly, there are no Australian Vinyl Caped Jawas in the world. Period. All the ones that have surfaced are regular Jawas with cut down Ben Kenobi capes.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Top 10 Reasons why Baldy has no good update material AGAIN:
Posted by: Baldy 06.16.04 12:01am
- He hates his job.
- His last interviewee left him in the lurch.
- Durge's newfound ability to write paragraphs scares him.
- He is saving money for a lobotomy. (That means he wants to add those headphones like Lobot to his head)
- Time is money and CC.com don't pay well.
- The Pr0n business is down.
- His brain is retiring faster than expected.
- Jawas stole his laptop.
- Star Wars is just getting silly for a grown man to actually collect.
- Bill Cable is an evil taskmaster who gives Baldy no time or room for creative flow.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 06.30.04 12:01am
Hello fellow collectors and welcome to another Meet and Greet. This week I give you one of the longest running jokes...... er... I mean longest member, no wait..... dammit, it's Daddysnaggle. There I said it.
Baldy: Whats your name?
DS: My name is John, but it's pronounced "William", so I generally just call myself Susan. But don't tell my wife that, because she still thinks my name is Lumpy.
Baldy: What is your favorite car/truck?
DS: Without question, the Acura NSX. I've been wanting to steal.....er.....BUY one of those since I was 18.
Baldy: Are you married?
DS: Sho' nuff. Coming up on my 6-year anniversary, as a matter of fact.
Baldy: Good for you! Always nice to hear that geeks can get hitched too. How long have you been into collecting, SW or otherwise?
DS: I started collecting modern SW stuff in 1996, then got into vintage in 1997. I actually "quit" collecting in April of 2003, but in July, I got back into SW, as well as took up my Alien collection, which you can see at www.8thpassenger.com .
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 07.14.04 12:01am
Meet and Greet presents yet another wonderful look at a fellow collector who might not be on the regular radar. This gentleman has been around for years and has quite the collection going but most of you probably have no idea who he is. Mainly because he collects earwax and toenails. BUT he likes Star Wars too so say hello to Jjax!
Baldy: What's your name?
JJ: Jay Sant Juan JJax JoeyS Santwan, Jr III
Baldy: How long have you been collecting?
JJ: As of this date, July 11th 2004: 13 years, 7 months, 11 days, 6 hours. Give or take 30 seconds.
Baldy: What/who got you started?
JJ: Getting the 1987 box set Trilogy for Xmas in 90, then a trip to the local swapmeet to look for a vintage falcon, then 2 years hanging with a dealer building a collection.
Baldy: Can you quit anytime soon?
JJ: Of course, I could die anytime.
Click here for the rest of the story.
What collecting is really all about.
Posted by: Baldy 08.11.04 12:01am
Collecting is something almost anyone can identify with whether it's tools, shoes, pets, games or toys. For some people it is just a small part of their lives and they add to it either unintentionally or over a long period of time. Others collect things with a bit more determination and get things on a regular basis. And sometimes you have the rabid collector, a frame of mind that MUST have everything to finish off the collection.
I have come across all of these types in my days as a collector of Star Wars toys and I must say that in that genre, all of them have something in common 95% of the time. And that is a love for either the movies, the toys, or just the fact of the nostalgia and memories of their past that had Star Wars woven into it in some form or another.
This feeling is one thing that brings me to my point of this article. I am pretty sure most people that are reading this will have had similar experiences as mine and if not, I hope you do soon. I am speaking of the bonds between collectors that bring us closer and let us be ourselves and help one another without expecting anything in return.
Today, 8-9-04, I received a box in the mail from my "boss" Bill Cable. I had not ordered any artwork or sex toys from him so I wasn't sure why I was getting this. Upon opening it, I found a most welcome and totally unexpected surprise: An unused Unleashed Bossk cardback that was given out at San Diego Comic Con and signed by the artist! I had not even mentioned this to him or anyone else but other friends had mentioned it to me. This was so out of the blue I was taken aback. I emailed Bill thanking him like mad and he replied with a "No problem, someone from PSWCS went out there and got some of these and I figured you wanted one for your focus so I talked him out of an extra."
Click here for the rest of the story.
Top 10 Reasons that Revenge of the Sith will suck
Posted by: Baldy 08.25.04 12:01am
- Hayden Christiansen is in it.
- Padme STILL isn't naked.
- Jar Jar won't die.
- Many, many hot Jedi chicks will die.
- C3PO will be even MORE annoying than in Episode 2.
- R2D2 STILL hasn't been fitted with a toilet function for those long romps through the woods with a troop of soldiers.
- Did I mention Hayden is in the movie?
- George Lucas is STILL calling the shots.
- There will be 86 sculpts of each main character in toy form and they will all be short packed EXCEPT Jar Jar.
And the number one reason ROTS will suck:
- Bossk isn't scheduled to be in it! What a ripoff! ;^)
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Baldy
Dealer/Bodybuilder relationship confirmed!!
Posted by: Baldy 09.08.04 12:01am
THIS JUST IN!!
Well, it seems that my Pr0n Sources have just hit paydirt. A while back, a good buddy of the Star Wars online community was said to have been VERY close to a Hollywood Superstar we all know as Lou Ferrigno. Of course, not everyone was quick to accept this news because Lou is such a cool guy and was thought not to travel the circles that this other guy did.
BUT, I have an exclusive photo of Lou that proves his affiliation with our good friend. I am not completely sure but I think this photo was taken at a Hollywood event near the Pr0n district. That pool looks real familiar.....
So there you have it ! Solid proof that Lou does indeed know our friend and maybe, just maybe, he is closer to him than we all think........
DragonCon 2004! The skinny on all the goods.
Posted by: Baldy 09.08.04 12:01am
Well, DC 2004 has come and gone and I am home again. All in all, it was a good trip. I left a day early to beat out bad weather for the 5 hour drive home but things seemed to be winding down on Sunday afternoon anyways.
I got to Atlanta on Thursday and called Mike Chomyn to get situated in our room. After dropping off my stuff in Joe Y's room, we went downstairs to find the others. Oscar D., Shane T. and Karlee were already onsite and were hanging out in the registration area waiting to get passes. After we got them, we went walking around the hotel. Its a big hotel, The Hyatt Regency, and a lot of things were going on.
Hurry up, elevator! We gots places to go!!
Down in the bowels of the hotel is where most of the gaming and collectors discussions were being held. Up one floor from that is where more rooms were setup for meetings as well as some dealer tables and such. The main floor below the lobby had really large rooms where bands would play, costume shows were and the occasional meeting for large groups like Star Wars and LOTR.
Click here for the rest of the story.
DragonCon 2004: The Next Epic Adventure!
Posted by: Baldy 09.15.04 12:01am
Last week I left off basically on Thursday/Friday and stopped. This installment should bring us up to speed on most of the rest. Now I may be off on what exactly happened on what day so please bear with me. All the events below did happen but they may have not happened on the day I have stated below. These things happen when you are old and also when you stay up too late past your regular bedtime. Please address all complaints to Bill Cable because he loves hate mail.
Friday started out late because we were up late. I didn't get up till after almost 11:00 am or so. After getting ready I headed out to see who else was up. NO ONE was. After heading downstairs for camera batteries, I saw Chris G. and he was headed back up to get the others. Since all of us weren't moving yet, some people went for breakfast and others didn't. I opped to hang back and just get a snack and wait for lunch. Here is a few of us at breakfast/lunch/food.
Back at the hotel we basically just messed around the dealer rooms and such. Lots of cool stuff to see and it was very busy on the first day. We actually spied some vintage stuff at one booth and he even had a CDN boxed Die Cast Falcon. Too bad we found out it was a reseal and not a good one at that. But the guy had some cool Micronauts as well and it was neat to see those again. I also found a Gentle Giant Bossk bust I wanted so I grabbed it. Shane did a search for some comics and others went to bother the autograph people. Me on the other hand went straight for these!
Can you blame me? Hot, sexy Japanese "film" stars. Read into that what you will.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Grande Finale of DragonCon 2004!
Posted by: Baldy 09.22.04 12:01am
Or not so grand, whatever. Since Isaac pretty much did his summary on TRG last week, I am just going to do a quick finish of Sunday. Some of the pictures and descriptions that follow were told to me and may not be true. I headed home early Sunday because of the impending hurricane that was supposed to be heading towards my home. I wanted to miss as much of the wind and rain as possible on the 5 hour drive back, so I cut my DC experience short. So I was not in attendance for a lot of the following.
The night before saw The Miss Klingon Contest and it was a bust compared to last year. We had only one female start to lurk thru the audience and as soon as we saw her, we all pointed to John A. and whooping and shouting, "He's over here!' John took off for parts unknown and wasn't seen again until much later.
Saturday night also saw the Mr. Star Wars contest. We had no idea what to think of it but decided to go anyways. It basically entailed 10 guys that were subjected to a pageant, then whittled down to 5. Then those 5 guys had to go thru some hoops. This contest was one of the funniest things we witnessed all day. One guy was holding a Sprite bottle and we didn't figure out why till someone asked what his favorite weapon was. he answered, "Why, my Sprite-saber of course!" After that, Jeff C had his man to root for. They did a Whose Line is it Anyway? bit for a while and that was good too. We screamed Sanford and Son and that got picked. The guy playing Lamont got nuthin but bashed by the guy playing Fred Sanford. Every other phrase was "You big dummy!". Here is a shot of 3 guys, our Spriteman in the middle. The guy to the right eventually won for a stunning death scream reminiscent of Luke from ESB. He even hit the floor and wriggled around for a bit.
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 09.22.04 12:01am
And now for my first Meet and Greet in a long while, I present the mystical, magical, mythical Tattooed Freak............
Baldy: What's your name?
ST: Shane Turgeon
Baldy: Where are you from?
ST: Originally, the end of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere Saskatchewan. That's in Canada. In 1991 I moved to Edmonton, which is where I currently call home. That's in Canada too.
Baldy: How many fingers and toes do you have?
ST: 10 of each although being from Saskatchewan, you'd probably wonder. Between the inbreeding and the frostbite I should either be plus or minus. Call me lucky.
Click here for the rest of the story.
News Flash !! Pathetic is as pathetic does
Posted by: Baldy 09.29.04 12:01am
Now I know you think you have seen pathetic and so did I. But what follows HAS to be *THE* most pathetic cry for attention I have ever seen.
How exactly does a man get to the point of needing female companionship so badly that he runs a want ad? And, when he runs said want ad, how does the man decide on what publication to run it in? I am guessing that if you really want someone that is your equal in every aspect, you would want that ad to get exposure in a place that YOU are comfortable with.
The usuals are newspapers, indie magazines and local free papers. But when you see this ad, you will NEVER guess where I found it.
Yes indeed folks, this ad was found in THE main magazine for DragonCon 2004. It was prominently displayed on a page near the front of the ad section and was a quarter page size. Now, if memory serves me, a quarter page ad is not cheap. And over 3000 people EASILY will see this ad. It's not bad enough that this guy placed the ad to begin with but just look at the details in the ad to see his madness. Notice the cross and hearts in the background. Notice the outfit he is wearing. Notice the headband he has on. Notice the wonderful smirk on his face that just says "Hello ladies. Are you ready for the man of your prayers?"
Soon after first seeing this, the hilarity was what caught me. But after seeing it again a few more times, the utter horror struck me hard and I had to throw away my magazine for fear of being beset by dreams of the Riverdance Troupe dancing in my skull. It takes a man to see that he needs a woman, It takes a real man to act upon this. But what type of man does it take to go THIS far? It takes a very, very, very desperate man indeed.
I wonder if he got laid?
Baldy
Top 10 Reasons why Beer is better than the Star Wars movies
Posted by: Baldy 10.13.04 12:01am
- It's cold and frosty instead of old and stale.
- Beer can get a little better with age.
- You don't have to have electricity to enjoy beer.
- With beer, you can always outrun the authorities.
- There are more than three good beers out there.
- Beer comes in 12 and 24 packs, not just a 3 pack.
- NO JAR JAR.
- A good beer buzz lets you do much more than that lame old Force thing does.
- Gargan actually looks better after beer.
And the number one reason is beer is better than the Star Wars Movies:
- The makers of beer may change your beer over the years but they don't take away
the original brew just because it wasn't their "grand vision" of what their perfect
beer was back in the day. Fekkin Lucas can bite my shiny metal ass.
Futurama/Star Wars bootleg crossover figure found!
Posted by: Baldy 10.20.04 12:01am
While oogling the scantily clad women at DragonCon this year, I actually made time to get some Star Wars stuff too. Among other things, I got a small six piece bootleg set of pencil toppers. Here is a shot of the whole set I got from Joe Y.
Across the top are from L-R an R2 unit with a pistol on his head, an unknown droid and R5D4 with TV antenna on his head. The bottom row has a Greedo, Vader and Stormtrooper.
Now the piece I found to be the most interesting is the Trooper. It seems that down in Mexico where these are from, there is a huge cult following for the TV show Futurama. And the king of that show down there is Dr. Zoidberg, an alien crustacean that resembles a lobster. I had no idea how big this had infected the Mexican culture until I got a hold of this bootleg. I mean its cool to see Star Wars stuff shoddily made and all, but when Star Wars gets crossed with Futurama, it's a big deal and nothing is held back on the quality products being made. Behold the awesome glory of the "Zoidberg Stormtrooper" !!
Note the body matches EXACTLY to the good doctor on the show. The claws are also the same as Zoidberg's. The only thing that makes this not a Futurama toy is the Stormtrooper helmet. Frankly I would have liked to see a Zoidberg head with a trooper body and enuff articulation to pose him rummaging thru a dumpster for food. Now THAT'S a figure!
But since Fox wont grant any of the Mexicans a deal to make Futurama toys, this is all we can get. A pencil topper with an attitude. But ain't he cool? Can't you just hear him screaming, "Hey, I'm a Stormtrooper and I'll get some respect! HOORAY!!"
Poor lobster man has no idea of the godlike status he has here on Earth........
Baldy
Poetry by Baldy
Posted by: Baldy 11.24.04 12:01am
From a man who by all rights shouldn't be allowed within 40 feet of a poetry book, we present these new instant classics...
A Wookiee from Nantucket
There once was a Wookiee from Nantucket
whose hair was so long he could pluck it.
He pulled it along, singing this song:
If Han was here we could RIDE.
Little Miss Padme
Little Miss Padme
went out with her caddy
to give her golf game a kick.
When she shot an eagle
she barked like a beagle
then ran about 'til she got sick.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 01.19.05 12:01am
Once again, from the bowels of the earth, comes the Meet and Greet Spectacular! I know, I know, it's been two forevers since I actually made an update to this site but so far it seems Mr. Cable has continued to survive without my help. But now, it's a new year and I must make an effort to keep readers at least a tiny bit entertained for a change. Who knows, you people may even learn something from one of my interviews....... yeah right.
This week we get to see the younger, softer side of Star Wars collecting. My interviewee this week is a Rebelscum and Galactic Hunter regular and has a wealth of info at his fingertips. Always ready to lend a hand, it's Tommy!
Baldy: What is your name and where do you live?
TG: Thomas J. Garvey III and I live in Orlando Florida. I spend the summers in historic Cape May, New Jersey.
Baldy: How long have you been into SW?
TG: Since around 1994, when I was 12. I'm 22 now.
Baldy: How long have you been into those silly flowered shirts?
Click here for the rest of the story.
10 great uses for a dead Ewok
Posted by: Baldy 01.26.05 12:01am
- Foyer area rug. You know that mud will just wipe right offa that pelt....
- Hat rack. Multiple levels for fedoras and pimp hats alike.
- Punching bag. They may not last long but the sheer thrill of beating one of these carcasses will keep you punching for hours.
- Wine rack. Fill the belly with ice and put the wine up his butt or in his ears.
- Lawn Jockey. One of those guys that holds the light in the front yard with his little red hat and coat on.
- Garden gnome wannabe. But more "Earth Friendly". This statue will decompose ! YAY! Even the tree hugging hippies will like this guy.
- Target practice. Just about *any* weapon will do real damage and add hours of family togetherness to your home.
- Flower vase. Fill the innards with peat moss and mulch and then plant your favorite perennials in any open body cavity.
- Place mats for the pets. Will absorb all sorts of pet stains and they can double as a chew toy.
- Throw pillows. You can get multiple ones from a single hide and they come in oh so many cool colors. Just make sure not to use the posterior fur, it always reeks of leftover "Yub Yub".
Another Baldy's Meet & Greet
Posted by: Baldy 02.02.05 12:01am
Yet another interview you ask? Why yes! It *is* another fine interview of a collector from wayyyyy out there. And I don't just mean that by his location folks, trust me.
Baldy: What's your name and where are you from?
BW: Broc Walker and I currently reside in Murray, Kentucky....(okay okay, so I have always lived here)
Baldy: What is your states initials?
BW: KY....why ever do you ask?
Baldy: Oh no real reason...... ( snickers to himself ) How long have you been a collector?
BW: Like a lot of other collectors out there, I had the toys as a kid but didn't start actively collecting until the relaunch of the line by Hasbro back in the mid 90's. Then around 1997 I began collecting vintage again once I realized how bad the modern line sucked. It started with a beat up ROTJ Klaatu that I promised my wife would be the only one I would buy.....8 years and 200+ carded later, here I am :O)
Baldy: Has it always been SW or was/is there anything else?
Click here for the rest of the story.
Baldy's SuperStar Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 02.23.05 11:31am
It's a little late in coming *sic* and it's rushed through production, but we wanted to post this out before this guy's 15 minutes are over. He's been on Scarborough! He's been on the Today Show! He's been on freakin' O'Reilly!! He's the flavor of month, and we have here on CreatureCantina.com! We're proud to introduce the porn king of UCSD - Steve York!!
Baldy: Whats your name?
SY: My name is Steven Westerfield York. AKA The Why Man. AKA Big Stevie Why. AKA The Big Westerfield. I could go on and on, but my rap name is Audacious. But Steve's fine.
Baldy: Where are you from?
SY: I am from "The REAL OC." I think...I saw it on a TV Guide or something and it sounded cool.
Baldy: When will you pay my parking tickets off?
Click here for the rest of the story.
The Ex-Pr0n King still has staying power!
Posted by: Baldy 03.09.05 12:01am
I know that my title of Pr0n King has been taken from me by a certain young boy-whore named Steve York. He was all the rage on national media as well as the www.rebelscum.com Vintage forums and had a media blitz the likes of Monica Lewinski. I also know that he is very smart, has industry savvy and will probably go far with his exploits.
BUT....
When you can get attention for being a Japanese MAN-whore on a totally unrelated forum that has your picture posted with two fine Japanese Adult stars, you know you have a reputation that won't be so easily overcome.
Take for instance this fine link I was sent late this week:
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11401
Now this is a San Antonio Spurs forum. Nothing to do with Pr0n or Star Wars or anything remotely cool. :) It seems one person made a Japanese reference to something silly and then a few other posters ran with it. Then someone added a picture of Godzilla to the post. Then a picture of some attractive young Japanese girls was posted a bit further down. And right below that is a picture of yours truly with his two hotties.
Getting mentioned by my STAGE NAME by a fan really makes me happy and you can't beat getting your picture in a post along with Godzilla. NOW who's the Japanese pimp? What's that Steve? Nothing to say? I didn't think so.
A big shout out to BC for sending me that link and making my day. Remember people, your fans are what make or break you so be nice to them and your legend will never die! I bid you all a fond farewell until I can find someone that brings up my old car jumping antics. I wonder if a picture of Sony Crockett and his gator Elvis would go well in that thread........
A forest used to stand here...
Posted by: Baldy 03.30.05 12:01am
Now be honest...
Posted by: Baldy 04.06.05 12:01am
Baldy's Meet & Greet
Posted by: Baldy 04.20.05 12:01am
This week on meet and greet its the Guvnuh of California, the Terminator himself the Kindergaden Cop of sci-fi fame Arnold Swartzenegger. (I know that's misspelled but we at CC.com can't afford Spellcheck).
Baldy: So Arnold, how have you been?
AS: Eye ave been gud mista Baldyman, my job is so grate, I luv it so so much.
Baldy: Are you a collector?
AS: Eye collect munny and tapes of all my old moovees and sometimes suhpeenas from vemmen hoo zay I grabbed them.
Baldy: So you grab women in your spare time?
AS: NO, don't make me smack you girly man! I grab nuthing! Except the odd donut or sahndwitch.
Click here for the rest of the story.
The real reason Baldy missed C3 this year
Posted by: Baldy 05.04.05 12:01am
Folks, I know I disappointed a lot of my buddies by not making it to C3 this year but I had a really good reason. Beforehand I didn't really want to go into great detail mainly because I didn't want to jinx myself and lose this deal. But everything has worked out and I can finally reveal why I missed C3.
I was approached by an online costumer a few months ago to actually be a model for their new line of Star Wars costumes. Seems they had seen my work before and thought with my past fame in the Pr0n business ( I say past due to StevieWhy, you rat bastard) as well as in the Star Wars collecting realm I would be a good spokesmodel.
So I went in for pictures and wardrobe fittings. It took a lot of time and I had to do some working out as well as a few other body modifications, mainly shaving my goatee. And I also had to wear makeup so the glare wouldn't kill the cameras. But everything worked out fine and I now present to you my finished ad for the site! Just click on this link to see me in all my glory! Just don't mind my big feet in those awful sandals.......
http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/r15244.html
A big thanks to my fans on Rebelscum, GalacticHunter and the Archive for making a dream possible!
ROTS Numbers Game!
Posted by: Baldy 06.22.05 12:01am
Here is a fun counting game for when you see Episode 3 AGAIN. And no, we won't give you the correct answers until everyone has seen the movie 8 times at least. And we want receipts too!
- How many times does Anakin cry?
- How many times do moviegoers cry during Ep 3?
- How many limbs/hands/heads/body parts does Obi Wan cut/lop/chop/hack off in Ep3?
- How many Jedi die way too easily at the hands of clones who are usually shooting each other?
- How many Wookiees died during the battle on their home planet?
- How many moviegoers actually CARED about those Wookiees?
- How many people saw the Millennium Falcon in the movie?
- How many of those people who said they did actually DID?
- How many times did Palpatine laugh/chortle/giggle/sneer in the movie?
- How many people wanted Jar Jar to DIE? ( you can count moviegoers AND cast members )
- How many times did General Grievous cough/gag/choke/sputter during his time in the movie?
- How many Battle Droids and/or evil robots got their asses handed to them by R2D2?
- How many times should Mace Windu have just whipped ass instead of asking silly questions?
- How many wardrobe changes does Padme go thru during the movie?
- And how many hairstyles?
- How many good lines did Padme have? ( sorry, trick question there )
Hidden auction reveals that Taun Tauns are real!
Posted by: Baldy 06.29.05 12:01am
While checking thru some odd areas of ebay, I ran across this auction that has an actual Taun Taun saddle for sale! It seems it was hidden away down south in hopes of being forgotten. Well now it has been professionally fumigated, cleaned of all entrails smell and has a new stable sheen not to be missed! Check it out!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7166065974
Bid while the bidding is good and take home a real collection centerpiece!
PS. Please note this MAY be an elaborate trick to sell Pr0n as evidenced by the third picture in the list. You'll see what I mean.......
Top Ten reasons to quit collecting Star Wars
Posted by: Baldy 08.24.05 12:01am
- You will have more friends that don't look like Stormtroopers.
- You will find out that there are other types of movies genres besides Sci-Fi.
- Phone calls to people won't end with "And how much is shipping on that to the US?"
- You will find out that bell bottoms actually ARE tacky and not in vogue anymore.
- The money saved on collectibles can actually buy a vehicle other than a MISB POTF Skiff.
- Women other than the ones that work at toy stores may actually talk to you.
- The English language will actually be useful in day to day conversations, unlike your fluent Ewokese.
- The space you save in your room can be used to have furniture, a kitchen, a stove and/or other useful appliances.
- It will become apparent that not all books or magazines come with prices in them.
- You will save tons of time to spend with your friends and family because you won't be reading silly websites like this.
Baldy's Meet & Greet!
Posted by: Baldy 10.12.05 12:01am
Interview With A Vampire (Well almost as rare)
This week on CC.com I have an interview with an extremely rare creature, one so rare only a few people have ever heard of one, much less see one. I am speaking of the Star Wars Widow. For pity's sake all names have been changed to keep certain people out of trouble (me).
Baldy: So you are the wife of a Star Wars collector?
Lynda Cable: Hi! Uh huh. I'm also a mom and a professor!
Baldy: I suppose this proves that even nerds and geeks *can* meet real women and actually even get married....
LC: Awwww he's not a nerd. Is he?
Click here for the rest of the story.
More excellent ideas for new Star Wars toys *or* Poop with a Star Wars logo on it will sell
Posted by: Baldy 10.26.05 12:01am
As some of you may have heard, Hasbro has once again crapped upon the collector base and upped the ante on stupidity with its release schedule for next year. Transformers, Motorcycles, 13 more ARC Trooper repaints, etc. Why cant Hasbro ever seem to get it right anymore?
Here is a list of more outlandish toys scheduled for release next year that we at cc.com have gotten our grubby hands on.
Due dates are at the front of each description.
- 2-15-06 Multi Battle Packs: Jawas 4 Jawas in differing shades of brown, 2 with weapons, 2 with pawn receipts.
- 2-28-06 The Jar Jar Binks Lite Bright The famous toy from the 50's updated with all Jar Jar layovers. Sorry, no extra reds for gratuitous blood.
- 3-20-06 The Life Size Lumpy Wookie Doll Its Chewies son in life size form! Fleas and ticks at no additional charge.
- 4-1-06 Anakin Tatooine figure With slashing action feature
- 4-2-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above with red eyes
- 4-3-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above with blue eyes
- 4-4-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above with one blue and one red eye
- 4-5-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above with no eyes
- 4-6-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above with Jawa lightup eyes
- 4-7-06 Anakin Tatooine figure Same as above.... aw heck no matter what we do you guys will buy it
- 6-6-06 Darth Maul reissue with Devils Tail, Pitchfork and Cloak
- 7-22-06 R2D2 and Friends Multipack 6 Droid figures with R2 as the leader and YOU get to name the rest!
- 8-26-06 Bossk Hounds Tooth Bounty Hunter Ship 3 3/4 inch scale ship for the BEST bounty hunter that Lucas created EVER
- 9-17-06 C-3PO Discovery Channel Edition Your favorite droid in a light pink shade for his appearance on the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. Includes ribbons, latte and fluffy pillows.
- 10-10-06 Qui Gon Jin 12 inch Ghost figure In a great picture window box so you can see his ghostly form at all times. Please do NOT open the box as he may escape.
- 12-1-06 Yoda in Tron Lightcycle The bad Jedi in an even badder ride! Hey, why not? We know it will sell since it will be labeled an exclusive for EB.
- 12-25-06 Daddy Lucas in Santa Suit Only for sale on Christmas at Target stores in South Carolina and for 17 minutes. We wont say which stores or which 17 minutes either.
Hasbro makes it great to be a Star Wars collector and with this type of quality merchandise coming out next year, you know we can look forward to even more for the next 3 decades.
OT: lizards aren't my only fetish
Posted by: Baldy 11.09.05 12:01am
I don't have anything SW related but damn if I didn't get a gem from ebay. I'm posting this up for some fun cause the guy is just too much especially with his replies.
And don't ask why I was looking under leather pants either. :)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541
Easy add ons for your Astromech Droid
Posted by: Baldy 01.18.06 12:01am
- Grill: Cook hot dogs or bantha burgers anywhere with this new feature.
- Fridge: Goes great with above grill add on.
- Fruit Pantry: Good for a snack and whenever you need a banana for some losers tailpipe.
- Coffee maker: For those long nights on patrol in the Hoth system.
- Surround Sound: Makes those messages from loved ones and damsels in distress sound so much better.
- Rhino Liner: Tuff looking, long lasting and protects your droid. Just remember to tape off access doors.
- Curb Feelers: Makes sure your droid wont scuff his shell while trying to park in tight quarters.
- Lightening Strips: Keeps your buddy grounded for when you hit any electrical storms or short circuits.
- Stock Ticker: Nice display and very popular with yuppies.
- ATM: Always a sure bet when low on cash or hanging out at bars or Sabaac tables.
- X-ray beam: Good for spy missions and checking on girlfriends. Has been popular with nerdy college students too.
- Condom dispenser: Hey, you never know.....
- Pop-up Punching Bag: Fun at parties and helps keep you in shape wherever you go. Random face generator available for taking out anger on old GF/BF or the landlord.
- Perfume/Deodorant Applicator: Helps keep you fresh and is excellent for cleaning up offensive bums and/or riff raff.
- Disco Ball and Fog Machine: Added to Surround Package this is pretty self explanatory. Get fun-kay!
Bossk Facts no one knows
Posted by: Baldy 04.05.06 12:01am
- Bossk doesn't go bounty hunting, he goes bounty KILLING.
- Bossk doesn't sleep, he lies in wait.
- The leading cause of death for Ewoks is Bossk.
- When young Wookiees go to sleep at night they don't check for the Bogeyman, they check for Bossk.
- Bossk has flown to the edge of the universe.......... twice.
- The best hand in Sabaac is Bossk's hand.
- Bossk can lead a Gundark to water AND make it drink.
- Bossk doesn't use any navigation of any sort. HE decides where he is.
- The quickest way to a Wookiee's heart is Bossk's fist.
- The Emperor once turned water into wine. Bossk then turned the wine into blue milk and threw it in Boba Fett's face.
- Bossk doesn't shower, he only takes baths...... BLOOD baths.
- The pressure from a bite from Bossk is a little over the amount of pressure it takes to crush a 16 foot thick titanium block.
- Bossk can divide by zero.
- The only reason all the patrons of Wuher's are allowed to live is sheerly for Bossk's amusement.
- Bossk makes coffee by grinding the beans with his teeth and boiling the water with his rage.
- Bossk knows where Jimmy Hoffa is.
- Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the first Death Star. Bossk blew it up because Darth Vader owed him 3 republic credits.
- Bossk doesn't just bounty hunt for money. He sells his urine to Earth and we all know it as Red Bull.
- Bossk does not own a house. He walks into random houses and the people move out in fear for their lives.
- Bossk brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
- Bossk won the Boonta Eve race the past 5 years in a row. Without a pod.
Envy, thy name is Baldy!
Posted by: Baldy 05.31.06 12:01am
From your front page: " We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, people! "
I thought *I* was the bottom of the barrel ! Just because I have no real talent or drive anymore shouldn't mean you can just go and throw me away. Sniff, I thought we were...... friends. :(
Baldy
PS. I hate you and your site. Good thing many people we both know have made it clear that I am not allowed to damage you at DC this year. It seems your role as "The Chosen One" keeps you safe from injury...... for now.
PPS. Can you send me any extra trading cards you have laying around? I lost my Drunken Stupor Card and need it to have a chance at making a dent in the CCG game. Thanks pal!
Just a hint: Convention Do's and Don'ts
Posted by: Baldy 09.06.06 12:01am
After being at DragonCon over the long Labor Day weekend, I have a few insights for anyone that would want to go to any sort of convention. Most of these come from firsthand experiences and any and all names have been changed to protect the innocent and otherwise offensive persons I witnessed. Actually there aren't any names, I just like how that sounds.
DO make sure to warn your roommates if you snore. A little snoring is to be expected when you stay up till 5AM or so drinking and wandering a convention area. Letting roommates know ahead of time helps them ignore you when it seems chainsaws are running at 6AM when you are facedown on the floor and incoherent.
Click here for the rest of the story!
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